Sunday, December 31, 2006
color & so many other questions.On Christams day when I entered the nursing home I had this morbid feeling all around me. The nurse came & said I can sit with anyone I like. I saw someone sitting next to the window, sunlight was twinkling on his face through the window glass, I wanded my way towards him & petted on his slender shoulders. A coy smile teased his lips, he got up, hands tensely dug in his pockets and said HI to me, I smiled back & said nice to meet you "S" but I know he didn't even remember his name. I held his hand & we sauntered slowly down the hallway & all of a suddenhe said "FROOOOO" I acted like a skeptical listener & said pardon me? but he went quiet, I saw a glimmer of disapproval in his eyes. We continued to saunter our way down the hallway. Asked him to relax and offered him a chair, he said thanks and sat down. I started reading his history from the file one of the nurses handed me like how he got here & what happened to him. What I found out that he was a very good immigration lawyer, he left practicing since Alzeihmer's attacked him & he used to pet FROGS from all around the world !!We talked for a while. He asked few things about me. I made a frog on a paper & asked him what is it? He kept looking at it but couldn't recall the name. It was heart wrenching & I could see the dying embers of his past from his face which seemed so insipid. He wanted to share so many stories with me but he couldn't, I saw tears welled down his cheeks :( I couldn't control myself & started weeping as I felt so bad for him not just for him for all the patients who are suffering from Alzeihmer's & I have a very soft corner for them in my heart...I wish & pray for their health from the deepest core of my heart. Anyways when he saw me weeping he timorously took few steps towards me & said "I like you." He wiped his tears & tittered. I was so baffled he kept surprising me, I smiled back while blowing my nose. He held the paper tight in his hands with an impish look in his eyes, after staring at it for next few minutes with a huge frown he said FROG in a croaky voice, I forgot crying & started jumping all over ther place. I hugged him tightly & cackled. I promised him I'm gonna come & see him again."
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Now lets see what Sara’s collage holds:
*Ara & Leanne.. They’ve been on my mind almost all the time.. Really wanna see them..
Wanna hug Ara & tell her that it is all fine as long as she feels God’s presence, & also wanna let her know that maybe what’s happening to her is a reason to see what’s important and what’s not.. Wanna give Leanne a big fluffy teddy that has Leanne written on it & tell her seek more, & never will you lose, seek and you shall find.. Never give up Leanne, Leanne, you have the freedom to be you.. Be Leanne & never lose faith, you shall worry when you lose it.. Never let go of faith, it’s the only thing that never ends..
*What Belya said about almost everything, that sounded so true and serene to me.. Funny part is, I never knew what his name meant, until mama told me that belya is the title the mechanic’s assistant gets in Egypt..
*Momekh & baba’s smoking.. I pray that momekh’s experience went successful & baba would have one jut like his..
*Wanna know what’s tarabeza’s linguistic root.. It means a table in egyptian..
*Nour (habeby bro) switching to bio-med in Carleton.. Hope it’s the right choice bro.. I miss him terribly.. Miss his smell, words, eyes & especially mama & baba’s smile while he’s being there for them.. Pudding’s way of looking up to him.. Ala'a's endless joy with him..
*Being on facebook & joining groups all over the world.. Quiet intresting experience..
*But worst of all, seeing a man being hung.. Thank God I didn’t watch it all the way.. It affected me deeply.. But you know what the best part is? Allah being there is the best part.. He knows it all.. Anyhow, have you ever watched the green mile?
May Allah grant us the ability to accept the things we can't change, the strength to change the things we can & the wisdom to always tell the difference..
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
like an unexpected dream.
Unreal in a landscape of his own
I could fight neither fire nor water.
Circumstances mould boundries
Our hearts smashing through
Invisible wings carrying us
meeting halfway ascending the staircase to heaven
stepping through time
We journeyed through to the Soul
of the other
the journey transcended both our
The meeting of spirit bearing gifts
Like the four corners of a blanket
Being drawn together
Soul, Heart, Mind and Body
It is here that I find my peace.
A delicate instruction of Heave made manifest
But promised to another
The liquid in my veins ruptured
My wings dissolved.
Barely had I known this stranger
Barely had I heard his name on my breath
And yet his abscence
A transparent hole in my life
Visible to none other than myself
A sacred meeting took place
in space and time
hidden from me
hidden from him
I can only think
This has been no mere twist of fate,
no lucky accident at all.
Because the Love we know,
Flows up from the ground, bursting forth
It pours from the Heavens
Trying to step aside
I am surrounded
I am covered
One as much as the other
It breathes a life of it's own
So unfathomable, yet simple, effortless
Heaven has chosen to share her Light with us
Do we shine it onto this world
Do we choose it, or the insipid wantings and wanings of this world
"Love one Another"
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
And the pharmacist gamme two different kinds of the same pills, so guess what I asked my granny when i called her on the phone, to ask her which one to buy?!?!? No really, just guess?!
Normally, I should read for her what's written on the box (and that would mean, me telling her that there is one that has 2mg & the other 5mg) or at least ask the pharmasict what's the difference between both.. But NO!!
That ain't sara!!
sara is far too babyish for such a grown up act!!
I, ON MY OWN ACCORD, TOLD HER:
"Teta (granny in egyptian), there are two boxes, one is red, and the other is maroon, so which one do you want?"
May Allah grant us the spur-of-the-moment that isn't haram.. Amen :)
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
That perhaps are heavy
For example I know that I am a short distance
Between two pavements
I cross it with all my speed… why?
And because I plunge on/venture out with my voice
I always stumble on/trip over the air
And the first drop that trickles from my forehead
Instead of drying out
I look in a light way at things
I know to be heavy
That is a moment of truth
As for me, I am pure imagination
A buzzing light
Crashing around in a thicket/bush
And whoever finds my words
Will find a large stone
You can easily Throw it in my face.
"Speed" By ...
So after watching this, you better watch it!!
**Sura 75, Resurrection (Al-Qeyaamah)**
[75:0] In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
[75:1] I swear by the Day of Resurrection.
[75:2] And I swear by the blaming soul.
[75:3] Does the human being think that we will not reconstruct his bones?
[75:4] Yes indeed; we are able to reconstruct his finger tip.
[75:5] But the human being tends to believe only what he sees in front of him.
[75:6] He doubts the Day of Resurrection!
[75:7] Once the vision is sharpened.
[75:8] And the moon is eclipsed.
[75:9] And the sun and the moon crash into one another.
[75:10] The human being will say on that day, "Where is the escape?"
[75:11] Absolutely, there is no escape.
[75:12] To your Lord, on that day, is the final destiny.
[75:13] The human being will be informed, on that day, of everything he did to advance himself, and everything he did to regress himself.
[75:14] The human being will be his own judge.
[75:15] No excuses will be accepted.
Muhammad Forbidden from Explaining the Quran
[75:16] Do not move your tongue to hasten it.
[75:17] It is we who will collect it into Quran.
[75:18] Once we recite it, you shall follow such a Quran.
[75:19] Then it is we who will explain it.
[75:20] Indeed, you love this fleeting life.
[75:21] While disregarding the Hereafter.
[75:22] Some faces, on that day, will be happy.
[75:23] Looking at their Lord.
[75:24] Other faces will be, on that day, miserable.
[75:25] Expecting the worst.
[75:26] Indeed, when (the soul) reaches the throat.
[75:27] And it is ordered: "Let go!"
[75:28] He knows it is the end.
[75:29] Each leg will lay motionless next to the other leg.
[75:30] To your Lord, on that day, is the summoning.
[75:31] For he observed neither the charity, nor the contact prayers (Salat).
[75:32] But he disbelieved and turned away.
[75:33] With his family, he acted arrogantly.
[75:34] You have deserved this.
[75:35] Indeed, you have deserved this.
[75:36] Does the human being think that he will go to nothing?
[75:37] Was he not a drop of ejected semen?
[75:38] Then He created an embryo out of it!
[75:39] He made it into male or female!
[75:40] Is He then unable to revive the dead?
PS the italic ayays were read in the videos by the recitor.. And you can listen to surah 75 here, I love this recitor's way of reciting it!!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Obay is this li'l boy who truly loves me..
But what's the story, and why?
Well, in the previous school I taught in (for a month only), I had to teach grades 4 kids English subject for like three days, and then, had to carry on with grades 2.. I connected soooooo much with the kids, but there was this li'l sweetheart who got connected waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.. He got really upset after the 3 days ended, and went up to all the teachers and even the academic supervisor begging 'em to get me back.. But they couldn't help him.. Not at all.. So he would come up to me everyday in the breaks, to ask me to teach them.. I tried giving him candies and explaining to him that it's not in my hands.. But still, he wouldn't accept it.. Teachers told me that it's all 'cuz of me giving them candies, and that he wanted more.. How sad is that?! Wallahi adults suck.. can't two ppl connect without any materialistic gains?! I felt bad.. I was like, NO PEOPLE, it's because he really loves me..
So how do you know he loves ya?
Well, yesterday (after a month from leaving the school), my friend Batoot, who teaches there, called me and told me that he still asks for me and got me candies!! And, all the teachers knew then that it IS real, and he doesn't want my candies..
So what now?
I wanna say that it's really heartrending knowing and realising that in the Muslim world there are hardly teachers who know how to connect with kids.. I'm not praising myself by any means , and God is my witness, I'm just sad that Muslims forgot how the Prophet of Allah (may peace and blessings be upon him) connected with them li'l angels!!
I just wanna say I LOVE YOU OBAY AND WISH ALL ADULTS ARE LIKE YOU.. AND HERE YOU GO, I DEDICATE THIS SONG TO YOU AND ALL THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD..
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
And oh, then, they talked about (Emerson specifically) how reality is spiritual(& that I agreed with), and that “every natural fact, is a symbol of some spiritual fact"..
BUT then, they said that ROMANTICISM goes against RATIONALISM.. Then I got upset again.. And I believe it’s okay to be upset for Allah and His light.. And I think that’s where SUPERMAN came from.. With his disgusting outfits!!