If ......, chances are?

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If I care all the way & travel far, so far away, chances are?

If I avoid being told & act so cold, chances are?

If I try hard faking it; only to break it, chances are?

If I zip the lip, then want to give a tip, chances are?

If I cry, cry, cry & cry, chances are?

If I smile, grin & laugh out loud, chances are?

If I whine outwardly, then beam internally, chances are?

If my sighs grow & my fears show, chances are?

If I decide to sink & stop to think, chances are?

If I drop the stop; to stop the drop, chances are?

If my every fact is always abstract, chances are?

If I change my name from real to surreal, chances are?

If I straighten my waves & have a different face, chances are?

If I’m bitter & sore & don’t want it no more, chances are?

If I loosen up on my way going up, chances are?

If they tell me no, then ask me to glow, chances are?

If I get ticked off & can’t storm off, chances are?

If I live in denial & fail the trial, chances are?

If they put my heart in a strolling cart, chances are?

If my sweaty palms never ever calm, chances are?

If I never forget my deepest regret, chances are?

If I say no & prefer it raw, chances are?

If I'd rather stay than go the long way, chances are?

If I get hurt while cleaning of the dirt, chances are?

If I flirt & flirt; trying to blurt, chances are?

If all my words are full of blahs, chances are?

If I try my hands in the wrong lands, chances are?

If the sands of time turn into sour lime, chances are?

If they pick me up; only to shut me up, chances are?

** SaNeLy CrAzY **

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Remember when you were young & the soap, somehow, always found its way to your eyes? How long has it been, years? Well, for me it’s definitely been years since that last happened.. But just yesterday & after so many long years, the soup found its way back to my eyes! And all those memories flashed back.. It’s interesting how those ‘nice’ flash backs make you feel.. It’s just this indescribable deeply engraved delight coming back to life.. Just like that pineapple cake that mama makes.. Nothing could smell more warm & cozy..

It was wonderful walking in between those li’l kids who were on their way to school today.. Man, it’s great to have school in the morning! I’m extremely against all those afternoon schools :( .. I’ve always loved mornings.. I’m a very morning person.. I love the sun.. I hate it when the sun leaves.. Hate the night time.. Hate going out at night.. I had my afternoon coffee in the kitchen yesterday during sunset.. I could see the sky through that kitchen’s balcony’s glass door.. The lights in the kitchen were off & those yellowish orange sun rays were so stimulating.. They were fading a second after the other.. And eventually I knew I had to put those fake lights on.. Don’t you just hate the white neon lights? I really do.. I feel so uncomfortable seeing everything through those white lights.. I love yellow lights (not sure if they’re called yellow, but you know, those yellowish, sun-like lights).. That’s one of the things I love about Egypt.. All it’s street lights are lit that way, in ‘yellow’.. However, I was told once, that the colors are seen best through the white neon light.. Anyways, so while sitting in the kitchen, I loved how it was dark where I was & how the sun rays penetrated & broke through the darkness.. Try it.. Try sitting where it’s dark & open a window around sunset.. The sun won’t be too powerful to fully brighten the room & at the same time it won’t be so weak that would bring in the need of fake lights.. It’s a quiet charming experience..

Talking of experience.. Life is all about experiences.. Happy ones.. Successful ones.. Breaking ones.. Inspiring ones.. Humiliating ones.. Honoring ones.. Humbling ones.. And so many others.. And of the most uncommon experiences, come the crazy ones.. I go through those every now & then.. It’s fascinating.. I’m keen on unusual things.. And one of those unordinary things happened to me recently.. Well, here’s how it went.. A week ago, this dude passed by & asked: “Excuse me, do you have any clue where bla bla department is? The receptionist isn't there..” I went like: “Yup, it’s not on this floor, you go to bla bla floor & you’ll find it..”.. Dude: “Thanks!”.. Days passed & this dude came again standing in front of me with a huuuuuuuuuuge smile (you know this smile that you put on trying to say “you know me.. remember me?”).. I looked at him waiting for him to say something.. Dude: “Well, I have bla bla papers & can’t seem to figure out where to go”.. Me (so freaking serious): “Well, you can go to bla bla bla..”.. Dude: “And there’s this other thing” & he paused, I felt like, GOD!! And I waited.. He cleared his throat & said: “Well, I’d like to propose to you!”.. I DIDN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THAT! At that very moment, all I thought of, was how to get him outa my sight & how I could disappear from the face of earth! I blushed (& stayed blushed for like 4 hours I swear!) & found my arms flying up & down (I remember my left hand hitting the desk real bad), my eyes staring at the floor, the chair moving in circles & then I went like “ummmm, well, ummmmm, ummmmm, this is crazy!” & I didn’t even look his direction any more.. I COULDN’T BELIEVE I SAID IT OUT LOUD!! “THIS IS CRAZY?” HOW WORSE CAN I LOOK? WHAT AN EDIOT I WAS! He insisted: “I know, but I really do want to know of any possible way..” God oh God! How crazier can one get? This was one of the craziest sane experiences I’ve ever encountered..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To all gracious guys out there:

May Allah protect & guide you..

Amen :)

~~~

"Like a gift from the heavens,

it was easy to tell,

It was love from above,

that could save me from hell,

She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,

how the devil himself could be pulled out of me,

Like a piece to the puzzle that falls into place

You could tell how we felt from the look on our faces.."

~ Into the night lyrics~

~ The Real Princess story ~

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There's this story that I've loved deeply as a li'l girl & have never forgotten.. Just yesterday, while reading some stories online, I stumbled upon it & couldn't believe my eyes.. It must have been over ten years since I last read it.. I could still remember the day I read it for the first time.. I remember exactly on which sides of the page it started & ended.. I can still hear our loud young voices.. I recall the teacher's smell.. I even remember that book's scent.. I remember reading it at home as well.. Seriously, how do these small things affect a whole person & cause complicated impact on their being? There are these tiny details that truly made me the sara I am.. It's heartbreaking seeing parents overlooking those details & underestimating their effects :(
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE REAL PRINCESS

There was once a Prince who wished to marry a Princess; but then she must be a real Princess. He travelled all over the world in hopes of finding such a lady; but there was always something wrong. Princesses he found in plenty; but whether they were real Princesses it was impossible for him to decide, for now one thing, now another, seemed to him not quite right about the ladies. At last he returned to his palace quite cast down, because he wished so much to have a real Princess for his wife. One evening a fearful tempest arose, it thundered and lightened, and the rain poured down from the sky in torrents: besides, it was as dark as pitch. All at once there was heard a violent knocking at the door, and the old King, the Prince's father, went out himself to open it. It was a Princess who was standing outside the door. What with the rain and the wind, she was in a sad condition; the water trickled down from her hair, and her clothes clung to her body. She said she was a real Princess. "Ah! we shall soon see that!" thought the old Queen-mother; however, she said not a word of what she was going to do; but went quietly into the bedroom,took all the bed-clothes off the bed, and put three little peas on the bedstead. She then laid twenty mattresses one upon another over the three peas, and put twenty feather beds over the mattresses. Upon this bed the Princess was to pass the night. The next morning she was asked how she had slept. "Oh, very badly indeed!" she replied. "I have scarcely closed my eyes the whole night through. I do not know what was in my bed, but I had something hard under me, and am all over black and blue. It has hurt me so much!" Now it was plain that the lady must be a real Princess, since she had been able to feel the three little peas through the twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. None but a real Princess could have had such a delicate sense of feeling. The Prince accordingly made her his wife; being now convinced that he had found a real Princess. The three peas were however put into the cabinet of curiosities, where they are still to be seen, provided they are not lost. Wasn't this a lady of real delicacy?

Andersen's Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Andersen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS. Do those three peas symbolize anything at all?

'cuz He made the grass :)

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Look at this cute adorable sweet 8 year old boy's faith in God :D

Click here!

*tisk* *tisk* *tisk*

A few days back, I was driving pudding & his two friends to their school; as they were having an iftar party.. When the traffic light went red, I stopped (duhhhh!).. And then I heard giggling & betting

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going on between them li’l guys.. So I looked at the rear mirror & saw them cutely arguing..

Skate boarding expert boy (showing off!): “I swear this is acne, it’s not merely pimples!”
Pudding (jealously!): “No, they’re not! That’s just a rash or something.. I’m sure it’s not acne.. Acne doesn’t look like that..”
Beautiful eyed kid: “I think it is acne..”
Pudding (so proudly): “You guys, look at my facial hair, it’s growing.. Even my arm hair is..”
BEK: “Man, that’s old news, I’ve got all that already..”
SBEB then started checking out his arms..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn’t stop smiling.. And in my head, I was laughing out loud :) Honestly, I didn’t know what to think! Come on boys, you don’t want that.. Trust me.. Ask the big guys & they’ll tell you.. It’s not as it seems.. It’s not so fun.. Nope, not so fun! I'm sure they'd tell you how much they long to go back to their old li'l beds & get tucked in by their parents.. Well well well..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I always had this place on one of the walls in each & every one of pudding’s roomS where I’d measure his height every now & then.. He’s dying to get taller.. But of course as we move almost every two years (thanks to mom :( ); that wall changes.. But I still do it for him wherever we go.. Oh God, he feels soooo good when it shows that he’s grown taller.. Man, you should see the joy in his eyes :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May you grow taller puddingy & make this world a brighter one.. And take care of your eldest sister & love her & never forget her ;) .. Amen. & carry her if need be ;) Yeah, don't look at me pudding, how many times have I carried you? I deserve this :P That's the least you could do :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What if I’m dumb in school?
What if they’ve closed the swimming pool?
What if I get beat up?
What is there’s poison in my cup?
What if I start to cry?
What if I get sick and die?
What if I flunk that test?
What if green hair grows on my chest?
What if nobody likes me?
What if a bolt of lightening strikes me?
What if I don’t grow taller?
What if my head starts getting smaller?
What if the fish won’t bite?
What if the wind tears my kite?
What if they start a war?
What if my parents get divorced?
What if the bus is late?
What if my teeth don’t grow straight?
What if I tear my pants?
What if I never learn to dance?"

~ By Shel Silverstein ~

~ au fait ~

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I’m a bit confused.. Confused with this positive feeling that I have towards death & whether it signifies that I have a cold heart or not (they say a cold heart lets it’s holder believe that they’re saints & are so ready.. That’s not how I feel though!).. The grave & going to a different world is undeniably scary, but I’ve always had this inner comfort & relief with me meeting my Lord.. Today, for the first time, I found out that prophet Yusuf ‘alaihy asalam was he first to wish for death.. I WISH FOR DEATH! I’m not saying, I’m purely out of sins & surely have nothing to regret.. No, of course not! All I’m saying is that I really do want to leave this world soon & get closer to The Light of the heavens & the earth..

The thought of writing my will has always been on my mind.. Always wanted to write it & keep it under my pillow.. Wanted to say a lotta things in it.. But I never did.. Why? Well, ‘cuz I’ve always felt that no matter what I write, it won’t be enough.. Or won’t contain everything I have in heart & mind.. (Sadly this has always been the case with everything else I intend to do.. I always know deep down that it won’t turn out as I wanted it to ......)

Well, this world ain’t fair.. People in it are never just enough.. But as I always say God is always Fair.. Why wouldn’t I wish for death? To do more good deeds is one reason.. But what if I wanna repent & die amongst the true submitters? Is it a bad wish? It’s my wish anyhow..

In my sister’s university, there are different bus timings for dropping students off.. There are bus timings for locals & other timings for expatriates! Expats wait until the locals get dropped off first & then the bus goes back to the university to pick them (expats) up.. How can muslims reach this extreme? Extreme of hatred? How worse could our muslim ummah get? I try to make my presence a good one on the face of this earth.. But at a specific moment, you reach a point where you clearly know you don’t belong.. Please don’t get me wrong.. I’m not running away from the evils of this life by saying I wanna die.. WAllahi it’s not like that.. In my happiest, moments I still prefer death..

I love things here.. A lotta of things.. One of the things I love is our red jeep & I’m extremely sad for it having to leave us :( I love hearing my grandpa call my grandma with that sweet nickname.. Wish all husbands could be this tender with their wives.. A lotta of things are enchanting in this dunya.. *sigh* I loved it when I heard that pudding wrote an essay about me in school! He was asked: “describe the worst day that you’ve ever spent”.. He described the day I was operated on; to get my infected appendix cut off..

To conclude, two important questions will be left unanswered:
1. Who will inherit my teddy bear?

2. Did/will I ever win laylatul qadr?

Dashing Prince/Princess?

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UmmAtiyya said:

"So wait...so you mean I can't have the brother who's hafiz with ijaazah in 10 qiraat and fluent in Arabic who has a great beard and ALL his teeth and sparkly eyes and a REAL job that's transferring him to Saudi and is 6ft. tall and only wants one wifey and loves to cook and has never been to prison and has never been married and has a trust fund and a REAL car and wears sunnah clothes and is a sheikh with a dual PhD in Tafsir and Aqeedah with Masters in both child development and Women's Literature and has clean fingernails and makes herbal remedies from his organic garden in his spare time in between running marathons to benefit the soup kitchen he founded the summer he wrote the book on ahklaq when he was 12? You mean I can't have him? I have to settle...for a regular brother? Ok. You know any?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Relief said

"Umm Attiya I like your response but wouldn't a man like that expect a women like this Hafizah of Qur'an, teacher, housewife, beyond beautiful, hair to her knees, from a wealthy family, virgin, under 21, doesn't complain, doesn't expect too much, superwomen, cook, clean, fluent in several languages including Arabic of course, not attached to the dunya, a muhmin (more than just a plain ordinary muslim), PHd in education but just wants to homeschool any children she has, never looks unkempt, trained beautician, able to give noteworthy massages, never argumentative, encourage husband towards righteous deeds, etc."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Source

little 7aki :D

You gotta read these cute conversations between mama 7aki & her little 7aki :)
Click to read:

A conversation with little 7aki

Random conversations with little 7aki

~~

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Why I wish I was 3

7aki ilzgheereh goes to bed

May Allah preserve li'l 7aki for her mama.. And may she be her way to heaven.. Amen :)

Organic Muslimah's letters :)

Here are some heartfelt beautifully written letters by Organic Muslimah.. These letters touched my heart of hearts.. Organic Muslimah, do you really exist? I thought there was only one me in his world! Thought I was the only one who had those feelings! :)

~~
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Click to read:
Dear Husband
A Letter to My Unborn Daughter
A Letter to Every Sheikh
From an Unhappy Wife
A Letter to all Females
If Only
My Husband

Hossam & Eman..

Beautiful story written by Organic Muslimah.. I truly enjoyed reading it.. It touched my hearty heart.. I lived in it.. Literally :)

Here goes: (click to read)
Part 1: Hossam looks for marriage
Part 2: When Hossam meets Eman
Part 3: Hossam and Eman talk
Part 4: Hossam faces rejection
Part 5: Hossam's letter
Part 6: Eman Emails Back

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Thanks for your insight & time sister..

Love you fiLlah begad :)

What are they called?

I wish I could know what these flowers are called? Here's their story.. When I started recognizing things around me , including plants, these were the first flowers I got to know.. Baba used to get me one everyday.. & up until now, he gets me one every now & then.. The last time he got me one, was when I came back home & found it on my pillow.. I cried like a baby.. But here's a secret>> I kinda don't like touching them, from their tips! They have a
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lotta hair like leaves that scare me! AND I LOVE THEM!! AIN'T THAT WEIRD?! I used to get scared of all plants.. Like scared of touching them.. Until now, walking on grass irritates me a lot!! I always try avoiding that.. All I know is that, I'm crazy about flowers (both seeing & holding them).. Some one once said that it's haram gifting them!! Don't know the authenticity of that? I love plants.. Love their silence, delicacy & beauty.. Love the fact that they are LIVING! I wish I could find out what baba's flowers are called.. They smell goooooood :)

There is a flower that bees prefer,
And butterflies desire;
To gain the purple democrat
The humming-birds aspire.

And whatsoever insect pass,
A honey bears away
Proportioned to his several dearth
And her capacity.

Her face is rounder than the moon,
And ruddier than the gown
Of orchis in the pasture,
Or rhododendron worn.

She doth not wait for June;
Before the world is green
Her sturdy little countenance
Against the wind is seen,

Contending with the grass,
Near kinsman to herself,
For privilege of sod and sun,
Sweet litigants for life.

And when the hills are full,
And newer fashions blow,
Doth not retract a single spice
For pang of jealousy.

Her public is the noon,
Her providence the sun,
Her progress by the bee proclaimed
In sovereign, swerveless tune.

The bravest of the host,
Surrendering the last,
Nor even of defeat aware
When cancelled by the frost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ By Emily Dickinson ~

Wish I could always be daddy's li'l girl & never grow older.. And never see him get weaker.. I want him as strong as always.. Want him always standing tall & grabbing me by the hand & teaching me how the world revolves.. But wishes are only wishes.. And the world is only worldly world.. And the tide is always strong, whether high or low.. The more you live, the more gravity pulls down your features.. The more you stand, the more you slant..

I reason, earth is short,
And anguish absolute.
And many hurt;
But what of that?

I reason, we could die:
The best vitality
Cannot excel decay;
But what of that?

I reason that in heaven
Somehow, it will be even,
Some new equation given;
But what of that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ By Emily Dickinson ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love you baba.. I love you more than me.. And if I spend my whole life saying thank you, it wouldn't even count! Thank you for being you.. Thank you for being you!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

PS One of my dreams is to have a flowers shop, that only sells this flower.. And work in it with daddy :) That's one of my dreams..

blown ~ ~ away ~ ~

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That's how I felt when I heard the news.. I felt so blown away, numbed, powerless, blessed & most of all, felt that there is definitely a lot to be done.. I heard & then cried & then did nothing!! I wanted to write them a letter.. I wanted to hug them.. I wanted to do a lotta things, to the limit that I didn't do any!! He died & they were going to the airport to get his dead body, in a box.. That's what happened.. As simple as can be.. He just simply stopped breathing.. His heart stopped beating.. His hands got colder.. His powerless body got wrapped & went back home to his beloved ones in a box.. How can any sane mind live with this?! How can a warm beating heart carry on living with such pain & hurt?! Like for real?! How?! How can you tell his siblings "you guys, live with memories & hold on together.. You gotta let go of him now.." How can his mom understand that when she calls his name, he won't answer?! How can his dad lean back & tell them "it'll be ok"?! How can it ever be ok?! How can they let go?! I can't stop thinking of you, the family I never met.. I can't stop thinking of your great loss & not pray.. Pray that God would grant you the strength to carry on.. To carry on living, giving & waiting patiently to be with him in God's blessed paradise.. Amen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To the family I never met,

You're always in my prayers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do they have eyes?"

Satta: "Sweetie, you finish this plate & I'll give you a lollipop.. Deal?"
Li'l 3 year old amoona thinks so hard and goes like: "Let me see it first.."
Satta: "Okay"
And we run to where I kept the lollipop for her..
Satta: "Here it is, I'll put it here (on a bookshelf) until you're done with your

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dinner.. And then you can have it.."
Li'l amoona with eyes sparkling & mouth so watery: "Yalla, I wanna finish my meal.."
And after a few minutes & after she finished her plate & washed her li'l chubby hands & tulip-like mouth, we headed to the bookshelf & I unwrapped her lolli (while she was jumping up & down impatiently waiting for it to come out) & gave it to her..
Then amoona goes like: "Mhmmmmm, oh I love lollipops so much.."
Satta: "Lollipops love you too.." (that's what mama always says when I say I like something or some place.. she goes like "they like you too")
Li'l amoona, after thinking hard for a second: "But, do they (lollipops) have eyes?"
Satta, after getting amazed by the question: "What do you think?"
Li'l amoona: "I think they do.."
And then she carried on enjoying her lolli with unlimited joy..

Well, why did she say 'eyes'? Specified 'eyes' to 'love'? Does she mean one has to have eyes & see someone; to love them? Or did she mean that did they have eyes; to see her (cute li'l amoona)? Or what? I wonder, why oh why!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Satta: That's what I've been called by her ever since she started talking.. Amoona: I've been asked so many times, why amoona? Well, her name is farha.. I call her amoona; as when she started talkin & was introduced to our worldly lemons (we have those plastic lemons here in our house), she instantly after being told they're called lamoon (in arabic), she said 'amoon'.. I love the way she said 'amoon' & so I decided to call her 'amoona'.. I added the 'a', as arabic is like french, it has feminine & masculine words.. Feminine words usually have an 'a' at the end of them..

T A B O O

It's sad.. Really is.. Don't know how to describe the pain & anger I feel while seeing my beloved ones doing it & acting as if it's not really "that big deal".. People whom I look up to, do it.. People whom I dearly love.. It's a common disease that's been spreading in my beloved ummah since years & years.. The sad part

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is that they know very clearly that Allah is watching their every act & knows their innermost thoughts & feelings..And they do it while knowing that it would have redden the prophet salla Allahu alayhi wassalam's face with anger.. I'm not lecturing here.. I'm just reminding.. And what month is better & easier to drop off all bad habits in than our blessed ramadan? Listen to this: if you can quit smoking aaaaaaaaaallllllll the way from dawn until sunset, can't you just quit it from sunset until dawn? Come on, it should be really easier than normal days.. Come on.. For your sake.. YOUR sake.. You don't want the big day to come & this li'l piece of rapped crap be your reason to hell!! I'm sorry, but that's simply how it is.. Please quit! Please! If I were to tell you: you'll lose your job, your wife or any of your worldly connections if you don't quit it, won't you easily quit it? But if Allah tells you: you are on the verge of losing your eternal blissful life 'cuz of it, what would you say? You'd say I can't!! WALLAHI YOU CAN.. WALLAHI!!


"Your Lord knows the innermost thoughts hidden in their chests, as well as everything they declare."
Qur'an [28:69]


"The day will come when their own tongues, hands, and feet will bear witness to everything they had done."
Qur'an [24:24]


"O people, you are the ones who need GOD, while GOD is in no need for anyone, the Most Praiseworthy. If He wills, He can get rid of you and substitute a new creation. This is not too difficult for GOD. No soul can carry the sins of another soul. If a soul that is loaded with sins implores another to bear part of its load, no other soul can carry any part of it, even if they were related. The only people to heed your warnings are those who reverence their Lord, even when alone in their privacy, and observe the Contact Prayers (Salat). Whoever purifies his soul, does so for his own good. To GOD is the final destiny. The blind and the seer are not equal. Nor are the darkness and the light. Nor are the coolness of the shade and the heat of the sun."
Qur'an [35:15-21]


"If GOD punished the people for their sins, He would not leave a single creature on earth. But He respites them for a predetermined interim. Once their interim is fulfilled, then GOD is Seer of His servants."
Qur'an [35:45]

My Ramadanic Invitation for you :)

I'd gladly like to invite all of you living here in Abu Dhabi, to the ultimate place ever, where the most amazing blissful ramadanic nights are spent.. Here's my delightful invitation:

Location: Mos'ab Bin Omair Mosque..

Right opposite the Eid Prayer Yard..

You can find out more by clicking on the above map..

Timing: First 20 nights of ramadan,

at isha prayer followed by taraweeh prayer..

And last 10 nights of ramadan,

at isha prayer followed by taraweeh prayer

& then at vigil prayers in the last third of those nights..

**Wish every one could taste the sweetness of those nights..**

__________________________________________________________________

Harken! O you who was not content to sin throughout Rajab.

His rebellion against his Lord had to continue the duration of Sha’ban.

The month of fasting has now come to shade and shelter you,

Do not transform it also into a month of sinning.

Recite the Qur’an and glorify [God], with diligent assertion.

Indeed! It is a month for glorification and the Qur’an.

Deny your bodily appetites, seeking your soul’s salvation.

Eventually, the earth will consume the body.

How many deceased people have you known who fasted?

Amongst your family, neighbors, and brothers.

Death has erased them, leaving you behind.

Get serious [about your religion], for the living are quite close to the dead!

You take delight in the ‘Eid outfits being cut out now for the festival.

But soon they will be your burial shrouds.

How long will the person be happy with his worldly home?

Knowing that his ultimate home is the grave.

__________________________

~ By Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali ~

_____________________________________________________

Rabina yefarah albek :)

I've always felt like I'm being put on hold.. Or is it me putting things on hold? I really don't know.. Always feel like I'm waiting.. Or like oh, never get so happy 'cuz I know that it'll eventually end!! Maybe it's 'cuz we've always moved from a house to another & never stayed at a house long enough that would make it home?! Maybe 'cuz i changed schools a lot?! It's just a bad feeling.. I love it when mama says Rabina yefarah albek.. That's what I need :) It means, may God put delight in your heart..
~~
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"Cite for them the example of this life as water that we send down from the sky to produce plants of the earth, then they turn into hay that is blown away by the wind. GOD is able to do all things."

Qur'an (18:45)

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I pigged out :(

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Well, "we all just wanna be big rockstars", that's true.. But is this the rockstar you wanna be? I don't think so.. trust me, you don't wanna be that rockstar..

Lots of things have been happening lately, lots of li'l big things..

I'll start from that elevators day.. I get in the elevator in the morning, and this mom is killing the hell out of her li'l girl; cuz she's late & the school bus might be gone already.. First of all, i think you (mom) got her to get to bed late that night & missed up her system.. And now you're yelling?! Even if not, it has to be your fault somehow, 'cuz u exist to organize her life.. Like duuuuuh!! I think I'll home-school my kids if i ever have any.. Let's see about that.. Later that afternoon, I get in the elevator & by mistake press on the floor's # that's below us & then realise that mistake, so I press on ours.. As the elevator gets to the wrong floor first, I stupidly forget all of this and get out.. that was a big LOL!! Man I sooooo wanted to get home & you're telling me I'm on the wrong floor?! I was mad.. And then I thought, what if there was no elevator in the first place? Be thankful sara!!

And then comes the day bro had to go, to study!! I, for the first time ever, decided NOT TO GO TO THE AIRPORT.. And didn't even hug him goodbye!! It's so painful the whole process!! I'm a weak person.. I seriously can't handle goodbyes.. Shoot!! I suck.. I've always been like that.. Like since I was li'l, when we used to go spend 'eids at my uncle's, who lives in another city, I remember I used to secretly cry in the car on the way back.. CRY!! Is this normal?! And oh, in Cairo, in summers, when family members & friends used to come over the last night to give their goodbyes, before they leave with a while, I'd actually get in the bathroom & avoid the kissing hugging part & cry like never before!! What is it with me?! I miss you bro.. I go out almost everyday, believe it? Me miss homyyyyyy girl?! Trying to get over the fact that you're not here!! You're always always always in my heart.. I'm sadder you won't be in the masjid with us in ramadan.. YOU'RE IN MY PRAYERS.. ALWAYS!! *sigh & tears*

I also noticed this thing.. Sellers don't usually look at you while telling you about their products; as to show you that they don't really need you all that much!! Seriously, try to observe this.. Especially arab sellers!! Know what I mean? Like they look through the window or something & act busy or whatever!! What's that all about?

And here I come.. Okay I AM THE ULTIMATE ICE SKATER THAT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN & guess what? i've slipped & fell :( God, so what? People fall sara? No, not me.. I've never fallen since forever & I fall this easily & GET A BRUISE?! Funny thing is, I actually felt so embarrassed that i acted as if it's cool & sat on the ice for a while.. LOL.. I hated that reaction of mine.. Why am I so complicated?! I didn't look complicated, but felt so.. And by the way, I once cut my brother's finger with my skating shoe's knife thingy, see how perfect of a skater i am? It still kills me from the inside remembering me hurting him this bad :(

And then comes this amazing new soul to my life.. We clicked so fast, that I CAN"T BELIEVE IT!! I almost forgot what clicking is like.. Welcome to my life new soul & I hope you are what I'm thinking you are.. Amen :)

Yesterday I ate a lot.. I feel guilty :( I aaaaaaaate.. It was weird.. The whole day.. The prophet salla Allahu 'alaihy wasalam said: "The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat a few mouthfuls, to keep him going. If he must do that (fill his stomach), then let him fill one third with food, one third with drink and one third with air." Forgive me ya Allah.. We do this 'cuz of a lotta different reasons.. Sometimes to fill a void.. People, this is never going to fill any voids.. It's bad.. real bad..

Lats night.. Oh my God, you won't believe it!! Last night, for the first time ever, after years & years of watching Tom & Jerry, I SAW A HUMAN'S FACE AT THE END OF ONE OF IT'S EPISODES!! It was the lady of the house's face.. OH MY GOD! :)

A couple of days ago, I saw this horrible car accident & just can't get it out of my head.. The car was upside down.. Ya Allah.. I wonder if they're okay.. Or what happened.. Anyways.. I know that Allah would never harm anyone nor burden them with more than they can take.. May Allah ease our pains & unite us on His straight path.. Amen.

P.S.1 I've been called sara EL hamdy lately, dunno where they got this "el" from?! LOL.. I love it :) You see, sometimes people would call you something & you would love it 'cuz it came from their heart, even if it was 'silly' or whatever.. And at other times, you'd hate being called even a princess from others.. Like at the masjid, there is this sister, she says ukhty to me in a way that I haaaaaaaaate it.. Ukhty means sis.. but God.. Hate it coming from her..

P.S.2 My sis is starting her freshman year & so she was jokingly discussing her pocket money issue with dad.. When we were young, we used to get one dirham a day to school.. So he told her, you can now take two.. AWWWWWWW babaaaaaaa :) He's the cutest ever..

"..not grieve..nor be proud.."

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"Anything that happens on earth, or to you, has already been recorded, even before the creation. This is easy for GOD to do. Thus, you should not grieve over anything you miss, nor be proud of anything He has bestowed upon you. GOD does not love those who are boastful, proud."

Qur'an [57:22-23]

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How do you feel about these ayahs? They do this thing to my heart.. Can we actually be like that? Like how can we?

When the moon is sighted..

All eyes at the moon.. As soon as our earth’s shade covers it & it miraculously becomes a crescent, the doors of hell will be locked & my beloved heaven will open up, bloom & its sweet scent

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will be carried to us through a gentle breeze.. And right there & then, starts a beautiful month filled with the most peaceful nights one can ever live.. I’m never big on nights.. Nights usually disturb my mood.. But “those” nights, sigh.. Oh “those” nights.. Talking of them nights, I’d like to invite all my moros living over here in Abu Dhabi to come to this blessed, holy house of Allah, that shakes each night; seeking Allah’s mercy & forgiveness.. I’ll let you know of its exact location inshaAllah as soon as I make sure that its imam (who comes to AD only in Ramadan) will make it safely this year.. May Allah bless him & grant him a serene ending to his earthly life & an everlasting life in ferdous amongst all the righteous winners.. And us all.. Amen. Whoever gets to read this, I ask you to please keep me, all brothers & sisters & the dead in your prayers.. And may Allah the Most Merciful grant us tranquility, strengthens our faith, accepts us & save us from hell fire.. And may He fill our souls with delight, our hearts with faith, our minds with never ending conscience & our bodies with strength to carry on our paths.. Oh Allah keep us safe until Ramadan & make Ramadan faultless for us & secure it for us as an accepted month of virtue.. Amen.

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"Somewhere over the rainbow way up high

And the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly

And the dreams that you dream of, dreams really do come true

wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where trouble melts like lemon drops

High above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly

And the dreams that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?

Well I see trees of green and red roses too,

I'll watch them bloom for me and you

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and clouds of white and the brightness of day

I like the dark and I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky are also on the faces of people passing by

I see friends shaking hands saying,

How do you do?

They're really saying, I a..." I love you

I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,

They'll learn much more than we'll know

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world"

By Norah Jones

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la la la ~ ~ ~ la tit ude

No I don’t want to know how many people are online reading my blog! It’ll simply transform my intentions! I know me.. This is one of the coziest places I’ve ever been.. Don’t want anything to take that away.. No, please, God, no.. Funny thing is, it all could go away.. In a heartbeat.. All of it.. I’ve been sad lately.. Truly sad..
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Trying to find joy at something.. I think it’s beyond one’s ability.. It’s in the Lord’s hands.. My grandma has always said that she’s lead a happy life ‘cuz she wanted it.. She always says if you want something real bad, you’ll get it! She’s always been positive on that.. I’ve always been impressed by her inner strength & outer sense of direction.. I lack sense of direction.. No, for real!! Like I could go to this & that road & not know how to get there again!! They make fun of me.. Are there pills for that? I wonder.. I’ve always loved corners.. Spent most of my life in corners.. Mostly with a warm mug of coffee in my hands.. To tell you the truth, I don’t know much about types of coffee grains & seeds & what not, but all I do know is that some super duper creamy cream should be dissolving along.. Mmmmhmmmmmm.. That’s another definition of home to me.. Me.. sara.. Million billion girls have my name.. sara.. It’s not like I’m the one & only sara.. Some saras with h, sarah.. Others without.. Like me.. sara.. But I know that I’m not like any other sara.. And not any other sara is like me.. In the third grade there was this sara with my, my father’s & my grandfather’s names.. sara mohammed Hassan.. And in the morning’s assembly, they were giving out gifts.. And they called out: “sara mohammed Hassan”.. I went & took it.. And next thing I find, another sara was crying.. I found out it was meant for her.. So I gave it to her.. I only wanted to take it for one thing; to go home & give it to mama.. And see her proud of me.. I didn’t know what they were giving out the gifts for.. I’m me.. And I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been tryin to be.. One of the saras of heaven.. And all those who want to be a part of it real bad.. Amen.

"I don't have to be anything other
Than the birth of two souls in one

Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned

Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situtaion-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be
Anything other that what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be"

~ Gavin DeGraw ~

؟ot ererhw?

It's not up to us in the end.. Nah ah.. We dream, plan, do & hope, but yet, it eventually turns out the way it was written for it to turn out to be.. It’s like staying here,

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in Cairo.. It wasn’t planned out in the first place.. And then got all planned.. Come on bla bla.. Do so & so.. And leave on bla bla bla & so forth.. Half way through & then the trip supposedly came to it’s planned end.. So we pack & get ready to leave, say goodbyes & find no seats.. Come back unpack & try again.. And again no seats on the plane.. Eventually we end up staying over here for some more unplanned time.. And have those sweet hot dishes.. It was written for us to have them.. And buy those colorful scarves with the most beautiful patterns.. It’s like the other day, we were starving, & so we went round and round looking for a fancy place to eat.. We pass them all by & end up eating some cheap tasty pasta with sauce that was sold on the street :) WoW! Our problem is, we are impatient.. And very doubting.. Every one now walks with their heads looking at all directions & their eyes all over the place.. mjhtcrkytrexydrujhjheuiohgrfvndk;ghifdugkjfdcbngiu.. Whatever it means.. Last night, on the highway, we passed by this cemetery & I was thinking to myself, now what? What? WHAT? Where to? Why the rush? Someone passed away in our building while my fourth cousin came to life.. Welcome Jannah.. Welcome on board.. Hope your stay turns out to be a happy one taking you to the real big Jannah.. Amen.. Funny thing, Egyptians pronounce ja as ga.. They say gannah.. It kills me.. IT’S JANNAH.. And umm Jannah, get well soon :) Abu jannah.. May Allah grant you the strength to take care of jannah & her mama.. Amen.

“The human being is impatient by nature. I will inevitably show you My signs; do not be in such a hurry.”

-- Qur’an 21:37 --

HoMeSiCk

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Is it really that I’m homesick? Is this how it feels like? Well, I feel dry.. Real dry.. Like a rough wooden surface.. It’s like the water of the world wouldn’t soften at least one millimeter of my surface.. And my inside is so thirsty that all it sees & smells is a bunch of mirages.. I miss me.. As I said earlier, home lies within one’s self really more than anything else.. And my being is just molded into something else right now.. I’ve been trying to absorb my surroundings’ attitude, but fail to grasp any logic.. It’s all been beyond logic lately.. But there is this one thing that shook me & brought my heart back to life.. A couple of lines sent to me by my pudding.. He sent a message yesterday that would knock down all love letters ever written : ) .. He sent mama saying: “Mom, please tell sara that I was very worried & anxious last night that I couldn’t sleep at all.. So I went to her bed & felt so at ease that I fell asleep in less than a minute.. Tell her I’m soooo sorry I slept in her bed.. Please accept my apology..” I swear to God this was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.. You know what pudding? I think as soon as I come I’ll bake you the best cookies ever, inshaAllah.. And fill them with billions of M & Ms.. And you can sleep in my bed until I come back puddingyyyyyyyyyyyyy : )

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"Why do I feel lonely,

when I have You by my side

I am lost, show me the way

it is all fake

it looks so original

so inviting

attractive, true

long lasting

I am off tracks

how me another signal

another then another

I am demanding

just like You

Help me Lord

Show me the way

Dived and drowned out

All tired and lost

Weak and meek

The mask of me

Will fade like the rest

Help me with the ropes

Help me to climb

So I can climb down

This hill called life."

By Momekh..

Messed up!

Oh well.. Cairo.. That’s where I am.. And on daddy’s laptop.. Connected to our telephone’s connection, just like them old days, days when the internet started!! Anyways, I woke up & found myself packing.. & flying high in the sky.. Destination: the land where prophet Joseph has once lived in.. How did it look like back then I wonder! How did it smell like! Sound like! All I’m sure of is that it definitely had a life.. One full of all what life demands of those living it.. Running & running towards things that help you carry on breathing.. All of them now are busy.. Busy living.. Some living the right way.. Some living the wrong way.. And others not knowing where they’re at.. As for me, I can’t stop seeing, smelling & hearing.. It’s all different over here.. The difference is in the ways of fulfilling those needs.. The needs that are the same between us all.. Us humans.. They look different, smell different & sound different.. I feel that my biological clock has stopped.. It’s stuck.. Somewhere between reality & disbelief.. I feel trapped in an airless space unable to get out unless someone pulls me so hard.. Man! This place’s gravity is almost nil.. And it’s lifeless at the moment.. I’m crazy.. So crazy for being so.. For being so lost & for not knowing what I’m writing & what’s the exact purpose of me writing it.. It’s for the first time that I feel I’m truly messing up my blog!! And I swear I’ve never ever done that before.. And it’s freaky.. I’m a freak right now!! So watch out world.. It’s not funny.. Shall I just back space everything? Delete? Umm.. Why not just post & keep a record of my freaking out patterns? Hope it changes soon.. Okay, I’ll post it.. Click!!