When will it happen?

when will it happen?
when will I see? when will I know?
when will I know that I am blessed? when will I know that I just can not afford to be otherwise?
there are so many things one can accomplish. there are so many things that I have done. what is it worth?
God says clearly in the Quran,
“I have not sent Jin & Men but to worship me”
when will I live up to the real worship? The real worship that is not just namaaz/prayer? when will I ‘know’ God like one is supposed to ‘know’ God?
when will I look inwards to have a clearer picture outwards?
but dont I already do that?
when will I know that it is never enough?
when will God show me the true nature of free will?
God says that He will not change a person’s state unless that person changes what is within him. I try. God knows I try. To change what is within me. And I know as well, that I do not try hard enough. For if I do try hard enough, I would acheive.

Acheive the grand prize; hedaayah. In the heart. Light. Pure & guided.