~ sustenance ~

I woke up this morning to this loud symphony played by them birds living right outside my window.. They were really loud :) They gave me this energy & pushed me out of my bed & right to.. To buy a fridge! How sentimental is that?! Haha! Oh well, I didn’t tell you the fridge story.. You can get ready now for my fridgy fridge story.. Well, It seems that our fridge has given up on us already :( Our big white fridge with the magical water dispenser is no more cold.. It’s lost its control over its own temperature & has no power whatsoever left to be of use to any of its users .. But if its users were caring enough in the first place, things wouldn’t have reached this far.. Well, our big old fridge did its part; it made this noise & it was ignored.. Got louder, & still, got ignored.. It eventually gave up & died.. It just died on us..I’m so sorry to report our loss.. You know, I was thinking, why do we have to have one anyway? I mean, why don’t we just get busy with getting our needed nutrition for the day & worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes? Oh yeah,I know why; ‘cuz the world is different than how I thought it’d be when I was a kid.. I think I have a memory problem; as everyday I crash into things & it hits me: “sara, the world you’re in is different than today’s world! Get real!”.. And then I tend to forget that on the very next day.. The thing is, I am for real, why is our world this crazy? Why is everything outta proportion? And why do people still smoke? Why are parents so harsh on their own flesh & blood? Why do they not look at the sky? Why are they sticking their heads out? Why aren’t they calm? Why is everyone running? I can’t say that I don’t care; ‘cuz I simply happen to extremely care.. Oh, here comes another problem.. Caring.. Why do I care too much when I care?! I don’t know the answer to that one as yet.. Is it even important to know why? Umm, don’t really know.. But hey, let me give you a small example.. You know how we meet random strangers every now & then? I think about them, even after the longest time ever! I still remember that boy I saw last summer, in Cairo, carrying this huge amount of water in this large bucket.. I was staring at him & thinking, how could he, with his small hands, have control over the distribution of this huge amount of water over the pavement? I don’t even remember what exactly it was that he was selling in that corner.. But I still wonder what he’s doing with his life now & if he’ll be forever suffering from back pains ‘cuz of the loads he used to carry as a li’l boy.. And so goes my “caring torment”.. The thing is, we need to worry & plan in the same time.. Worry if we see things going wrong & plan on how to change those things & better them as much as we can.. But not being able to do anything & to carry on worrying would do us absolutely nothing.. As a matter of fact, it could hold us back.. And we don’t want that happening, do we? I personally don’t.. But what can I do? I care.. And when I care, I.. I care too much.. Too too much..

Here's one of the wishes I hold in my heart.. I've always wished to get every poor person (materialistically poor) living on earth: comfortable pairs of shoes & slippers! Can I ever do that?! I really believe if this happens, our world would be a better one!