Monday, June 18, 2007

June-an :)

I'm writing this to let you know how proud I am of you & your inner strength.. I want the world to learn from your harsh experience.. Thinking about you made all this come out:

Between heavens & earth
There lays my faith..

With joy & grace
Wanna end my days..

Though it's easy to say
Yet hard, too hard to play..

When all you sense
Is a big fat tense..

To change it you need
To kill all your greed..

So stand on your feet
& try to defeat..

Those growing seeds
Of them poisonous weeds..

Love always,

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?

"We both had done the math. Kelly added it all up and... knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had... lost her. 'cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

Islam 101

Thank you brother BonsaiSky for this educative brief!
May Allah reward you for all your efforts..
On the authority of Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:
One day while we were sitting with the Messenger of Allah (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) there appeared before us a man whose clothes were exceedingly white and whose hair was exceedingly black; no signs of journeying were to be seen on him and none of us knew him. He walked up and sat down by the Prophet (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). Resting his knees against his and placing the palms of his hands on his thighs, he said: O Muhammad, tell me about Islam.
The Messenger of Allah (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: Islam is to testify that there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, to perform the prayers, to pay the zakat, to fast in Ramadan, and to make the pilgrimage to the House if you are able to do so.
He said: You have spoken rightly, and we were amazed at him asking him and saying that he had spoken rightly. He said: Then tell me about iman.
He said: It is to believe in Allah, His angels, His books, His messengers, and the Last Day, and to believe in divine destiny, both the good and the evil thereof. He said: You have spoken rightly.
He said: Then tell me about ihsan.
He said: It is to worship Allah as though you are seeing Him, and while you see Him not yet truly He sees you.
He said: Then tell me about the Hour .
He said: The one questioned about it knows no better than the questioner. He said: Then tell me about its signs.
He said: That the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress and that you will see the barefooted, naked, destitute herdsmen competing in constructing lofty buildings. Then he took himself off and stayed for a time. Then he said: O Umar, do you know who the questioner was? I said: Allah and His Messenger know best. He said: It was Gabriel, who came to you to teach you your religion.
It was related by Muslim.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Shy Mimosa!

There’s this thing I was told, that I’m not so sure of it’s authenticity.. Well, I was told that when girls are born, they come to the world with their faces facing earth instead of heaven.. And boys the other side.. I was told that girls specifically come out that way so that they’d be covered than revealed!! Dunno how true this is, but I never forgot it.. How beautiful & delicate!!

I remember how I started changing from wearing pants (outside the house) to skirts & then more loose dresses & so forth.. And then from light attractive colors to darker ones.. A lotta people surrounding me criticized me by telling me "you’re young, why trying to look like a 90 year old" .. Well, ‘cuz I’m not supposed to look cute to them men, DUUUUUH!

Let me ask you, how do you girls dare look so beautiful outside, in front of all those eyes?! Looking at my cousin, I see all the answers..

She’s 3 year old now.. My cute li’l amooona :) As I see her growing, I see how she gets more & more conscience about her body.. She slowly, day after day covers up.. When going to the bathroom with satta (me, she calls me satta), she makes sure the door is shut.. Who taught her that? She’s only 3.. Well that’s the instinctive nature that we all choose whether to live by or wipe off..

What happened with those semi-naked girls I see out there, is that they were told: “It’s ok, God loves beauty & he gave you all that to show it off & share it with the world.. Shine on..” Well, NO! He didn’t give it to her to ENTERTAIN MEN.. Na ah!! That’s not given to you to be touched & checked out by them all.. Please learn from
It’s a plant for God’s sake!! Watch her.. May we stay untouched & clean & live to enjoy all that is HALAL only.. Amen.

How did the world get that far?! A man, long ago, punished himself ‘cuz he laid his eyes on a woman’s heels that showed accidentally under her long dress.. What has happened to men now?! They got used to seeing women’s everything?! How?! They stopped even blushing when seeing a woman’s leg or whatever!! I feel so bad!! For all.. For women who show themselves off, happily.. And feel so bad for men who lost their decency & sense of right & wrong.. Shaking hands has become etiquette between men & women!! If you don’t you’re outdated..

I don’t shake men’s hands.. Simple! It’s HARAM!! Forbidden for a woman to touch any man unless he’s her dad, brother husband, uncle, grandpa etc.. What’s hard to understand?! Respect it, even if you don’t like or agree with it.. Even if it’s strange..

I met with Mr.
Derek Culley
& his gorgeous wife a month ago.. They’re Irish & not Muslim & so not familiar with any of this (Islamic teachings).. So, I firstly met with his wife.. An amazing sweet creative person.. We had a long chat & then Mr. Derek came.. He put his hand up for a shake & I put forth my pocket (first thing in my hand) & shook his hand with it, instead of my own hand.. He asked me: “why?”.. I explained.. Guess what was his response? He said: “I’m so sorry to put my hand, I didn’t intend for any offense, I never knew this..” And smiled.. I was sooooooooooooo happy by his respectful reaction.. Maybe he doesn’t believe in this being right, but he respected it.. How respectful & decent of him!

We had a great talk about
his abstract paintings
& my crazy photography interests ;)

What happened to my muslim brothers and sisters? How did they get sooooooo far away?! At the beginning I used to get crazy seeing all this.. Hated it all.. But now, I pity them & pray for them.. May Allah guide us all & keep us on the right straight path, that’s surrounded with a lotta good looking delusions.. Amen.

Monday, June 11, 2007

"My India Is Great"

Well that’s what I learned from Mr. S. “My India Is Great”.. I’ve always wanted to write about that great encounter I had with him months ago.. Thanks to Maqsood; as he revived the whole thing by writing about India.. I’m so glad you’re proud & belong to where you come from..

Months ago, me was mad.. Real mad while going to the bank to see what took them so long to get things done.. Phone didn’t do much for me.. So while talking to this dude and that dudette, comes Mr. S. & I was like (in my head) who is he & why is he intruding.. And of course had a fast judgment.. He politely introduces himself and takes me to his office.. He thanks me for my patience & calm behavior & tries to handle the matter.. Minutes later I realize that he’s actually a very busy manager and wanted to pay respect due to my respect.. ha ha :) And then started to get things done.. A few days later, I had to go pick some stuff and meet & thank him.. Went into his office & found out that he was one of the best people I’ve ever met.. I noticed the beautiful posters on his office’s walls & the politeness and generosity he had..

He was a poet, we started talking about his writings & a few minutes later he started translating for me his Indian poem titled “My India Is Great”.. It was a BEAUTIFUL poem.. I saw his beautiful Indian handwriting & admired his insistency on writing the poems by hand (not a keyboard) & using only pencils.. And that poem was so beautiful.. I can’t stop saying that.. He’s a Muslim Indian who happens to be very creative..

Firstly, the title comes from the back of public transportation automobiles, a code kinda thing.. He’s told me that in India, on almost every bus or cart, you’d see “My India Is Great” written.. As a Muslim, he wrote how his India is great & not great, from that prospective.. How women pay their dowry (interestingly “mahr” in Indian as in Arabic) :( How many different religions live together.. How spiritual & loving their majorities are like..

That was one of the best talks I’ve ever had.. But the worst part is coming.. Nothing to do with him..

Over here, in this land, the land I was born and brought up in.. The dearest land to my heart, a lotta Indian labors work.. And it breaks my heart how the deeply rooted word Indian resembles something ugly and far away form the reality of it.. It saddens my heart.. And breaks my heart that beside that the word “Indian” is misinterpreted and discriminated against, labors are looked down at.. How handymen are not respected..

I always wondered, why would a worker who builds (or does whatever) or a nanny, who works almost double the hours I work, would get one fourth of what I get, in terms of salary.. ‘Cuz of my degree? You’re telling me that it’s not by hours or efforts? Is it fair? I’m asking, not being sarcastic here.. Really? Who decided that? Allah’s prophets were handymen.. Carpenters, shepherds..

Hindy bala hindy.. A song me & bro made up & used to sing when we were really young..
Your India Is definitely Great :)

Saturday, June 09, 2007

"no pain no gain"

The hard way..
Real hard way..
That's how you appreciate..
Get rid of everything?
You CAN'T in the first place!
Get through?
That's what you GOTTA do!
"Be strong child… they said;
in the face of any storm
Be brave child… they said;
when the lonely nights are cold
Advice from friends and strangers;
like the matter was all up to me
Put themselves in my shoes;
test how strong and brave they’ll be
There is only so much one can handle;
some shocks too great to comprehend
Must look for the force within;
must believe that time will mend
Holding on to my faith as I face this storm
Praying ever moment for nights less lonely less cold
Brave and Strong I ain’t! I’m just a child growing old."
La vie en rose?
Hell no!
Louis Armstrong fooled me..
It's not even funny..
Use your mind..
It's there for a reason..
And that's where my problem lies!
I do have one though..
It's impossible to float still on the swimming pool's water..
But it's so possible in the sea..
See, it works..
Does it?
So blue?
And why is blue related to sadness?
Where did I go wrong?