Wednesday, February 27, 2008

& what an invasion!

It's so true.. Undeniably true! "think about it." like nissou* said.. This day will never happen again.. So why don't we just be us & enjoy ourselves to the fullest? Why are we so sure that there is a tomorrow? Why am I so scared? Scared of feeling too much? So what if it harms me; I'll be hurt anyway if I confine myself this way.. I've always been like this.. Building walls in fear of being invaded! Complexity has always been following me..
I can't stay in my glasshouse! Nope, I can't keep myself locked this way.. Thigs happen.. People live.. Others don't.. I never thought people in my circle wouldn't though.. My people! My loved ones!! The very people whom my heart holds tight.. Felt that others losing someone dear to them is more likely to happen than it happening to me.. Ammar left.. You don't know Ammar.. And I assume you never will.. MK did too.. And so did Mrs. K..

I need someone to share my heart with.. To split my heart with.. It's getting too heavy to carry it on my own now.. It’s so full.. Fully stacked & I can't carry it alone.. I need someone who's strong enough to come in, break my glasshouse & carry my heart with me, for life........ Oh, why oh why does my heart ache this way? Ah ya alby!

We gotta do what we gotta do.. And do it this very moment.. Today.. Now! Don't wait.. Please don't.. You don't have time to wait!

How can the world be filled with people, while everywhere I look I see emptiness?! Oh how I love you ya Allah.. You Are So Loving.. I know You're always there for us.. I ask You to please guide us.. Enlighten our hearts.. Keep us uplifted.. Show us the light.. Keep us in the light.. Teach us how to contain each other.. Bear each other.. Love each other.. Unite us within Your mercy.. Compassion is all I ask for.. Ya Allah, You hear me.. You see me.. You created me.. Take me far away from here.. Take me if my life is of no use to any other life.. Let me go back to where I came from.. Forgive me.. Pardon me.. I'm weak.. My heart is weak.. Please Dear God, guard my heart; for without Your guidance it'll be doomed forever.. Strengthen it.. Fill it with all that You love.. Love me Ya Allah.. I need Your love for me.. Love me.. :')

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep tonight, just like I've been doing.. I'll hold my heart & keep on hoping.. Hoping that my pillow would dry soon & my sweaty palms would find some rest.. And I'll pray.. Pray for a strong light to come in; fill my room & kill all my sorrow..

"I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere i go you go ,my dear;

and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)

I want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart…

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)"

~ by ee cummings ~

Friday, February 22, 2008

~ sustenance ~

I woke up this morning to this loud symphony played by them birds living right outside my window.. They were really loud :) They gave me this energy & pushed me out of my bed & right to.. To buy a fridge! How sentimental is that?! Haha! Oh well, I didn’t tell you the fridge story.. You can get ready now for my fridgy fridge story.. Well, It seems that our fridge has given up on us already :( Our big white fridge with the magical water dispenser is no more cold.. It’s lost its control over its own temperature & has no power whatsoever left to be of use to any of its users .. But if its users were caring enough in the first place, things wouldn’t have reached this far.. Well, our big old fridge did its part; it made this noise & it was ignored.. Got louder, & still, got ignored.. It eventually gave up & died.. It just died on us..I’m so sorry to report our loss.. You know, I was thinking, why do we have to have one anyway? I mean, why don’t we just get busy with getting our needed nutrition for the day & worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes? Oh yeah,I know why; ‘cuz the world is different than how I thought it’d be when I was a kid.. I think I have a memory problem; as everyday I crash into things & it hits me: “sara, the world you’re in is different than today’s world! Get real!”.. And then I tend to forget that on the very next day.. The thing is, I am for real, why is our world this crazy? Why is everything outta proportion? And why do people still smoke? Why are parents so harsh on their own flesh & blood? Why do they not look at the sky? Why are they sticking their heads out? Why aren’t they calm? Why is everyone running? I can’t say that I don’t care; ‘cuz I simply happen to extremely care.. Oh, here comes another problem.. Caring.. Why do I care too much when I care?! I don’t know the answer to that one as yet.. Is it even important to know why? Umm, don’t really know.. But hey, let me give you a small example.. You know how we meet random strangers every now & then? I think about them, even after the longest time ever! I still remember that boy I saw last summer, in Cairo, carrying this huge amount of water in this large bucket.. I was staring at him & thinking, how could he, with his small hands, have control over the distribution of this huge amount of water over the pavement? I don’t even remember what exactly it was that he was selling in that corner.. But I still wonder what he’s doing with his life now & if he’ll be forever suffering from back pains ‘cuz of the loads he used to carry as a li’l boy.. And so goes my “caring torment”.. The thing is, we need to worry & plan in the same time.. Worry if we see things going wrong & plan on how to change those things & better them as much as we can.. But not being able to do anything & to carry on worrying would do us absolutely nothing.. As a matter of fact, it could hold us back.. And we don’t want that happening, do we? I personally don’t.. But what can I do? I care.. And when I care, I.. I care too much.. Too too much..
Here's one of the wishes I hold in my heart.. I've always wished to get every poor person (materialistically poor) living on earth: comfortable pairs of shoes & slippers! Can I ever do that?! I really believe if this happens, our world would be a better one!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Have you ever driven a car with no rear mirror?

A couple of days ago, my uncle called me from the balcony; to see how the moonlight was magnificently reflected in the beautiful salty gulf waters.. I went to the balcony & stared & stared for a few brief moments.. It was wonderful.. Very enchanting.. I don’t really like to stare into the ocean at night though, but the moonlight was incredible that night (this is coming from a person who hates the darkness! I can’t even sleep in the absolute darkness, I get frightened..).. However that very night, I sensed this ummm, what word can I use.. ummm, this serenity in the air.. It was very soothing.. It was as if the whole world was held still & only the waves were dancing in the moonlight..

I love our balacoonah (from Italian “balcone”).. I love what I can see in & from our balcony.. In our balcony, there are these lovely plants that (like any other plant) lose their flowers in winter.. They look sad in winter.. But the good part is that they get new flowers & leaves by the end of each winter.. From our balcony, I can see the blue sky in the sea.. The sea looks so lovely at dawn & very sad & almost cold at sunset.. Can you tell the difference between dawn & sunset time?

Pudding made me this yummy hotdog sandwich last night & brought it to me.. I didn’t ask him to make me one.. He just came up to me with the sandwich behind his back telling me “surpise :D” I was almost gonna eat him.. I don’t know about you guys, but these things mean the world to me! Thank you puddingy :) You’re my man ;)

People are different, things like that affect me.. BIG TIME.. But others may not be affected at all!! There’s this interesting Arabic proverb that means: “If it wasn’t for the different tastes, goods would last forever (i.e. never get sold out)..”.. It’s so true.. I hated that dress we saw the other day so much & made fun of it.. But if everyone hated it, who'd buy it?! I don’t understand how my friend would ever think that I could marry that dude!! But when you come to think about it, some other girl would love to share her life with him! It’s like that.. That’s how life goes..


everybody here is out of sight

they don’t bark and they don’t bite

they keep things loose they keep it tight

everybody’s dancing in the moonlight

dancing in the moonlight

everybody’s feeling warm and bright

its such a fine and natural sight

everybody’s dancing in the moonlight

we like our fun and we never fight

you cant dance and stay uptight

its a supernatural delight

everybody was dancing in the moonlight

~ Written by Sherman Kelly in 1968 ~

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Things to be done before 18 ;)

(picture's source)

I’ve been tagged by my dear wonders :)

The rules:
Post these rules before presenting your list.List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.At the end of your post, choose 6 people to get tagged and list their names.People who are tagged write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.


1. Okay, first & foremost, know why you’re here on earth..
2. Do what you think you’re best at..
3. Try to use your energy, youth & time in helping others & doing some charity work.. You never know if you’ll get this time later on in your life..
4. Hold on to your smile.. Seriously now, hold on to your smile :) If you lose it, you’ll find it hard to get it back!
5. Make sure you’re hanging out with the right crowd.. You know what I mean ;) On the authority of Abu Musa al-Ash'ari (radiAllahu anhu), the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said: "The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a (musk) perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell." [Bukhari and Muslim]
6. Don’t do anything that you’d regret.. And don’t be anything other than you..

And now I tag:
“Amal”, Ara, Gjoe, Maryam, Noora, & "Deadly Angel" :)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

D for Delight :)

The text you can see here in this picture is the du’a (supplication) that my dear mrs. K has written for me.. It’s so precious & extremely valuable to me.. She wrote it with her own hand.. I mean what better than this can I have (from her with me), that would stay with me until my time comes? It’s so special! I thought of photocopying it & giving it to all her family members & write a personal note on how special she is to me.. But I don’t think I’m strong enough to do it! My tears are still not dry!! I still can’t believe that I can’t see her no more.. It’s hard for me to feel this way.. What can I do!

Well, I’d like to dedicate this li’l special prayer to
Mr. Angry Husband..

I’ve read your words & feelings today & was so sad to only imagine what you’re going through.. I couldn't even comment.. I can’t do anything to help you or yours, except to pray.. And dedicate this to you.. Please do turn to Allah; for He’s the Only one who Has control over people’s hearts.. This is a special prayer given to me by a special person.. It helps me go through them hard times & I hope it does the same to you :)

And in the midst of this deep sadness, something new happened to me for the first time! Well, one of my closest friends moved to Cairo years ago & lives there now.. I saw her last summer & we try to keep in touch as much as we can.. But I believe distances get through no matter how hard you try.. A distance is a distance & will always remain as a distance.. No matter what people come up with.. Anyways, we haven’t talked for a while.. Last night, I had a beautiful happy dream of me being in this party that was hosted by her mom & she (my friend) was wearing a beautiful long grey dress & her mom was so happy that she was almost flying while serving her guests the drinks & all.. The atmosphere was very delightful (that’s my name, sara = delight ;) ).. So I sent her an e-mail as soon as I woke up telling her of my dream & guess what she says: “
are you psychic or something????????? i forgot to tell sis is getting engaged tom!!! (friday 15)!!!!and it's going to be at our house and we will be wearing nice dresses!! LOOOLL!!! that's sooo weird!!
”.. This has never happened to me before! I called them & her mom didn’t believe it.. She got even happier :)

May Allah fill all our hearts with true delight.. Amen :)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

"el’asfoora aletly"

“el’asfoora aletly”..
That is, “birdie told me”..
A lotta parents use this phrase to either 1. scare their kids; by letting them know that they could know anything they do through birds, or 2. to get them excited about how mysteriously powerful their parents are ;) ..
The only problem I find here (always looking for problems :( ) is that, in some way, this is a lie.. And you don’t wanna lie to your kids now, do you? In fact, lying or being not 100% truthful does effect me.. I’ve dealt with many different people right through my life (coming from different backgrounds) & have found dishonesty to be a common factor between them.. It’s found to be relative though.. But anyways, it goes under “dishonesty”.. They consider those small teeny-weeny not-so-true facts to be of no-problem!! “it’s all good.. God knows my intentions.. I just don’t wanna make things hard.. I was just kidding..” Na ah.. Nope.. That’s not how “God” wants things to be done.. This ain’t right.. And it’s not ALL GOOD! Do you want to be recorded as a LIAR? I know I know I should hate sins & not the sinners.. But I don’t know, I just can’t seem to accept deceivers in my life! I somehow end up “disconnecting”.. It’s not really easy for me to disconnect myself from someone, but like I can’t.. I just can’t stay with them.. I believe it’s harder to lie than to tell a harsh truth.. I’ve always found “el’asfoora aletly” to be cute in some way.. But it eventually is a lie :( Even misleading an animal is a lie!

Righteousness is not turning your faces towards the east or the west. Righteous are those who believe in GOD, the Last Day, the angels, the scripture, and the prophets; and they give the money, cheerfully, to the relatives, the orphans, the needy, the traveling alien, the beggars, and to free the slaves; and they observe the Contact Prayers (Salat) and give the obligatory charity (Zakat); and they keep their word whenever they make a promise; and they steadfastly persevere in the face of persecution, hardship, and war. These are the truthful; these are the righteous.” ~ Qur’an [2:177] ~
On a lighter note, when I wanted to check on the time last night, I’ve found the two hands of the clock together in one line (excluding the seconds’ hand).. It felt special; as they only meet once every hour :)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

~ Blossom & Bloom ~

She’s the untouched wildflower.. She’s always been surrounded by her loved ones & has learned from them how to survive on her own, but first & foremost, learned how to really live by her very native God given conscience.. She’s always learned that she’s accountable only to God & will be asked one day on
all it is that she’s done.. She was the one & only witness of her engraved intentions & had the only power to straighten & direct them.. However, & in spite of her affectionate upbringing, she’s always had this void that kept on growing on her.. This small cold hole in her heart that was getting deeper & deeper with each passing day..

Well, she has many garments & her favorite one is this garment of God-consciousness that she wears all the time.. It helps her with her daily struggles & lightens her way through the dark nights.. It also protects her from her own-whispering-self.. But she knows that there is a very important missing garment that she needs to get cloaked with.. It is this comforting, loving & warmth-embedded garment.. She’s heard of it throughout her life, but she’s hardly seen it worn by any of her fellow wildflowers.. The garments they wore were feeling rough & tough all the time, eventually either killing them by stopping their flourishing, or causing a real damage to their flowering buds..

Every dawn she prays.. Prays, pleads & asks her Creator who’s closer to her than her own veins.. She asks for this garment, that’s unlike all the other garments that she’s seen.. She prays to remain untouched until the right garment comes & cloaks her with its protection & endless love..
She's thankful for all she has & enjoys the morning breeze that comes to her with every new day :)
* Inspired by UM *

Friday, February 08, 2008

~the hamdy's fridays ~

Amoona loves singing.. She always goes around either making up some song or reciting Qur’an.. And she makes everyone around her say after her whatever it is that she’s saying/singing.. A couple of weeks ago, she was singing this song that she’s learned from her Qur’an school.. It was about the weekdays.. It starts by Friday.. When I heard it I was stunned! What? Our week starts by Friday? Says who? I went to her mom & asked her, she said yeah, our Islamic week starts by Friday! All throughout my school years, weekend was Thursday & Friday! And honestly, to me, Friday was not so exciting.. Friday meant having to study for the week to come & revise & sleep early & make sure the uniform is ready & so forth.. The happiest part of it though, was when daddy would come back from the mosque with all those yummy sweets that he’s bought on the way back.. Anyways, after years, the weekend officially became Friday & Saturday & the week officially now starts on Sunday.. To tell you the truth, it’s sad seeing all parents around me not attaching Fridays to something sweet that would remain in their kids’ hearts.. I wish people’s Fridays would taste as sweet as the Hamdy’s Fridays.. They have to include some of mama's delicious baking & something as special as that.. Well, for us, we have this special hour in the day that’s specified for reading some of our living miracle (Qur’an).. But Fridays, have to include the 18th chapter of the Qur’an, “The Cave”.. So today, when it was the “Kahf” time, amoona was over at our place.. Daddy took her on his lap & was using her forefinger in pointing on the text being read.. She’s almost four.. She was so cute & so was dad.. I wanted to hold that moment forever.. They were both so serious & sincere & it was totally charming :)
Abu Hurairah ( Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "The most important day that ever dawned is Friday. It was on this day that Adam (peace be upon him) was created and on this day he was admitted to paradise and it was on Friday when he was expelled from there (and was appointed vicegerent of Allah ) and it is on this day that the Doom shall occur." ~(Muslim)
Abu Sa'eed Khudri ( Allah be pleased with him) reports that reports that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: "One who recites Surah Kahf ( The Cave) on Friday, will have radiant light glowing for him between the two Fridays."

Thursday, February 07, 2008

~ book meme ~

Well, I've been tagged by stinger.. the book meme :)

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
I did.. It was Purification of the heart..

2. Open the book to page 123.
Just did..

3. Find the fifth sentence.
There are only 3 sentences & a quarter! LOL :D

4. Post the next three sentences.
What shall I do now stinger?!

5. Tag five people.
Umm, okay.. ahhhh.. i'll tag:
ara, mama 7aki, wonders, noora & natasha :)

A watched pot,

(picture's source)

never boils.. That’s right.. And sadly, that’s what nearly each one of us does.. Watching our pots.. I mean, we could do something else, we could make ourselves of use, but NO.. All we do is sit & watch the pot & wait for it to boil.. Don’t tell me “there’s nothing else to do”; ‘cuz there’s ALWAYS something there for us to do.. Just take a second & look around you instead of watching the pot.. I’m sure it’ll hate you if you carry on starring at her (“pot” is a feminine, right?) that way.. I’ve talked earlier about the difference between patience & not having an option.. A huge difference there.. Don’t think that I am “miss patience” of the world.. I’m so not.. Look at me, I can’t wait to see Khuzama’s race today.. Just can’t wait.. There’s nothing I could do about that.. I could just write over here until I see her ;) No no, seriously now, we really gotta give a li’l more.. I don’t see us using our potentials.. You got potentials, you CAN DO IT!

Talking of potential, I have this unbelievable ability in using my sense of smell! I got in this room & smelled these really yummy flowers.. They were these small white flowers, star-like shaped, with the most beautiful olive colored petals ever! I can’t get them of my mind! I wish I could find out their names.. Who named them anyways?! Why don't I name them then? But I'll have to think about that.. And if I name them & later on ask for them, no florist will be able to know what I'm talking about :( Plants are so very extremely delicate.. They totally get along with nature & despise anything to do with our hands.. We put our hands in something & that’s the end of it.. Can’t we just calm down a li’l & give a space for our surroundings?

Yesterday, I got to listen to this amazing talk by Moez Masoud.. It consisted of two parts: 1
& 2.. (It was in arabic though, if you're interested in listening to his english talks, you could go here..) And after it was over, sis asked me if I love Allah more than my parents.. I was totally sure that I do (it's just that you can't compare the love of Allah to the love of His creatures..).. And it felt so good & real.. I loved that moment very much.. Thanks for asking sis :) And since we’re talking about you now, let me tell the others of your other question.. Well, my one & only sis was wondering what would we do if we had the ability to say all we want to everyone & it’ll all be forgotten in the very next day? I enjoyed thinking about it for a while.. I recommend you do too.. The good part about doing that, is that by answering this question sincerely, you’d be able to tell if your heart is a good healthy one or not :) Talking of healthy hearts, I did this very healthy thing & felt fabulous about it :D No showing offs here.. I just wanna share its sweet taste, that’s all.. Well, I was about to backbite & let something off my chest, but paused for a second & modestly didn’t.. The hard part here is that I truly NEEDED to let it off my chest.. But I didn’t! And it felt gooooooooood!!

One last message before I go:

To the pathetic thief,

Well, I just wanted to say that I feel so sorry for you & wish you had a different life!!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008


How I love you, oh prophet of Allah,
Oh how I love you, dear messenger of Allah..

I feel your every word & every move,
I see your very light like a white flying dove..

I cheer up when I’m called by my finest names,
& remember that it was you, suggesting that, back in the days..

My heart skips a beat when they recite your words,
& my soul shines, & for meeting you it increasingly longs..

I wish my eyes would have seen you clearly,
Instead of blinding them now & tasting no ecstasy..

The human race has become awfully nasty,
& you wouldn’t like to see their hearts beating this hatefully..

They scare me all the time,
& sour me with their excessive lime..

Oh how I wish you were here today,
Along with your wisdom & your needed ray..

The rainbow has lost its colors & its shape,
And the rain can’t tell what’s real from what’s fake..

The sun still shines by its Lord’s command,
But has lost interest in it’s effect & demand..

Oh Lord I know You’re The Most Just,
& You’ll help us in fighting our grubby lusts..

Dear God please send Your peace & blessings to The Real Man,
& let him know of my love & wishes to be together with him in a better time span..

How I’m missing you, oh habeebu Allah,
Oh how I need you, my dearest rasulu Allah..

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Raghawy saboon ;)

Just by typing this title, I can’t help laughing.. It’s hilarious.. LOL :D Okay, let me break it down for you.. Raghawy is the plural of raghwa.. And that stands for foam.. Saboon is soap.. Raghawy saboon i.e. soap’s foams/bubbles.. And that’s what my dearly loved uncle calls people who live on our pretty planet earth by.. Raghawy saboon.. They bubble up & baaaaaaaam, they’re gone! They also foam over meaningless things.. They’re just raghawy saboon.. To prove my point, I asked one well-educated sane muslim man about when does he think he’d be ready for death.. He said “when I succeed in my business”.. And a second later, he said: “also when God is pleased with me..”.. I said, one thing.. Pick one.. He said: “When I succeed in my business; ‘cuz if that happens, it’ll indicate God’s contentment with my existence..” !!!!!!!!!!

He sends down water from the sky, causing the valleys to overflow, then the rapids produce abundant foam. Similarly, when they use fire to refine metals for their jewelry or equipment, foam is produced. GOD thus cites analogies for the truth and falsehood. As for the foam, it goes to waste, while that which benefits the people stays close to the ground. GOD thus cites the analogies.” ~ Qur’an [13:17] ~

Here’s its detailed explanation.. In the explanation, it's clarified that gold and silver are beneficial & get used & foam coming to the surface vanishes & just fizzles out.. Which reminded me of your display name Abdo.. I wonder if that’s where you took “gold” from (& chose it to be your display name).. As in its essence.. Not gold as in gold’s worth, nor its materialistic value, but rather its useful one :)

Talking of which, I love how those bubbly bubbles show up on my lappy’s screen when I’m not around ;)

His dreams are like commercials

But her dreams are picture perfect and

Our dreams are so related though they're often underestimated

La da da da da da

Well I was eating lunch at the D. L. G.

When this little girl came and she sat next to me

I never seen nobody move the way she did

Well she did and she does and she'll do it again

When you move like a jellyfish

Rhythm don't mean nothing

You go with the flow

You don't stop

Move like a jellyfish

Rhythm is nothing

You go with the flow

You don't stop

If you would only listen

You might just realize what you're missing"

~Jack Johnson lyrics ~

Saturday, February 02, 2008

wHaT in THe WorLD DiD i Do?!

It’s pretty windy out here.. They say this weather is gloomy, but I say it’s completely inspiring.. The sky is as beautiful as always & endlessly soothing.. The clouds are floating so quickly, making it hard for me to shape them my way.. The sun is mastering the scene with its lovely warmth &
dancing rays.. The sea looks “light” from where I’m sitting.. Yeah, light.. As in almost colorless.. Maybe ‘cuz that’s how these days taste like? Colorless?! Yeah, “tastes” “colorless”.. That’s how I am.. I see, taste, hear & touch all at once.. Yes, you can call me crazy, ‘cuz I am.. At least that’s what my folks think anyway..

What’s so interesting about being crazy is how you always view things.. To people like myself, things are never the same.. Each moment has its uniqueness.. But the problem occurs when this uniqueness comes in with a negative tone.. It kills me from the inside & lingers on for a while.. I messaged this radio station once telling them that when something disturbs me, I stay disturbed for a while, even if this thing slowly walks away.. Getting over things inside of me is a very hard task.. Positive, negative, whatever they may be.. Being crazy means you are always at your peak.. You’re always hitting the highest points of things..

However, I’ve constantly wondered about how does “normal” generally feels like.. How does it transcend (or does it at all?)? Transcending is such a beautiful difficult sense.. Gravity has always been strong over here; causing any transcendence to be a serious issue.. I wonder how we can ever fight gravity!

Now I carry two things in my head.. In my-soon-to-explode head.. Firstly, how I’m viewed in this beautiful blogging world.. My dearest calls me “the flower of the desert”.. Someone else linked me as “the very sara” & I’ve felt it so very much.. And just today, I was found to be “a nice blog”.. I stopped & wondered.. nice blog.. hmmmm.. this is me.. so im nice? Or my writing is? Or is it all together.. I never really want to be answered.. Just love exploring the different views & words that express them :) Secondly, how grateful I am to baba & mama.. what they’re doing is way too much.. I mean, WAY.. TOO.. MUCH.. I can’t help but think, I don’t deserve all this.. I really don’t.. Thank you.. I love you.. And I’m always yours.. forever :)

Oh & before I go, that radio guy never answered my question.. All I heard was bla bla bla & I messaged back saying it was a bla bla bla & you didn’t REALLY get me.. He never gave a damn..

Nobody does!

Let me rephrase it..

Nobody REALLY does!
“Crazy, crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wondering, what in the world did I do?”
~ Norah Jones lyrics ~