It's so true.. Undeniably true! "think about it." like nissou* said.. This day will never happen again.. So why don't we just be us & enjoy ourselves to the fullest? Why are we so sure that there is a tomorrow? Why am I so scared? Scared of feeling too much? So what if it harms me; I'll be hurt anyway if I confine myself this way.. I've always been like this.. Building walls in fear of being invaded! Complexity has always been following me..
I can't stay in my glasshouse! Nope, I can't keep myself locked this way.. Thigs happen.. People live.. Others don't.. I never thought people in my circle wouldn't though.. My people! My loved ones!! The very people whom my heart holds tight.. Felt that others losing someone dear to them is more likely to happen than it happening to me.. Ammar left.. You don't know Ammar.. And I assume you never will.. MK did too.. And so did Mrs. K..
I need someone to share my heart with.. To split my heart with.. It's getting too heavy to carry it on my own now.. It’s so full.. Fully stacked & I can't carry it alone.. I need someone who's strong enough to come in, break my glasshouse & carry my heart with me, for life........ Oh, why oh why does my heart ache this way? Ah ya alby!
We gotta do what we gotta do.. And do it this very moment.. Today.. Now! Don't wait.. Please don't.. You don't have time to wait!
How can the world be filled with people, while everywhere I look I see emptiness?! Oh how I love you ya Allah.. You Are So Loving.. I know You're always there for us.. I ask You to please guide us.. Enlighten our hearts.. Keep us uplifted.. Show us the light.. Keep us in the light.. Teach us how to contain each other.. Bear each other.. Love each other.. Unite us within Your mercy.. Compassion is all I ask for.. Ya Allah, You hear me.. You see me.. You created me.. Take me far away from here.. Take me if my life is of no use to any other life.. Let me go back to where I came from.. Forgive me.. Pardon me.. I'm weak.. My heart is weak.. Please Dear God, guard my heart; for without Your guidance it'll be doomed forever.. Strengthen it.. Fill it with all that You love.. Love me Ya Allah.. I need Your love for me.. Love me.. :')
I'm gonna cry myself to sleep tonight, just like I've been doing.. I'll hold my heart & keep on hoping.. Hoping that my pillow would dry soon & my sweaty palms would find some rest.. And I'll pray.. Pray for a strong light to come in; fill my room & kill all my sorrow..
"I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it (anywhere i go you go ,my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
I want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart…
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)"
~ by ee cummings ~