Tuesday, September 29, 2009

F L U F F Y <3

(illustration's source)


Too many thoughts to share :)


*Since last Wednesday, this sweet li'l angel, Z, has been on my mind.. She's a li'l girl I teach, with this most charming smile & an extraordinary happy heart.. Her delicacy & transparency are so unique, they'd make your heart dance.. However, in this world we live in, almost no one would see those things enchanting li'l miss Z has.. Why? Well, 'cuz most of us have lost the true meaning of beauty.. We've become so blinded that we don't see anymore.. Sweet li'l Z has a serious eyes problem that caused her to undergo a few surgeries that caused her eyes to change their natural shape & have sever scars around them.. My darling li'l Z suffers from the ugliness in people's hearts from the way they see her.. And at this young age, I wonder, after all the suffer she's gone through, what's awaiting her? Will her special someone come, or no one would see her? See the real her? Will people love her for who she is? I wonder.. On a second note, today, I woke up with my left eye so puffy that it was almost shut! And Z was all I thought about! Bless her heart <3


*My brave li'l F :D A li'l boy with the best paper plane tricks, made me cute paper planes to fly with ;) Isn't that adorable <3


*One of my dearest friends, after years and years of walking in the wrong direction, decided to stop, and take a U turn and hold her heart tight & let go of the dark road she was taking.. I truly wish we'd always be able to be as strong as her & learn how to let go of the fake pleasures of the NOW and take hold of our selves' cries for TOMORROW :) Congratulations babygirl <3


*I've been in an extreme state of longing-ness for the past couple of months, that has been driving me nuts! I'm losing my mind & the problem is that it shows! But there's something useful about this mess, believe it or not! It reminds me constantly of how powerless I am.. You see, I don't see myself as a powerful being or anything of that sort, but sometimes, subconsciencly, I think that i'm LEADING my own life.. I believe that I can always do what I want.. However, that's nothing but a big fat lie.. It's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall, all of it, the whole thing...... The whole thing is in His Hands.. And I need to be in peace with whatever state I am in.. No matter how hard it might seem.. ACCEPTING things, isn't an easy task, but it's a possible one.. So let's try hard, while always keeping that inner peace.. Let's wear the "God Is The Most Merciful" cloak & breathe easy <3


*And last but not least, I have A WISH.. A special wish for a special someone on this special day: I wish you'd always carry the love of God in your heart today & everyday :) I pray all of the moments you have left on this earth would be truly heartfelt, as always, with new flying skills everyday, that would make you the best flying knight that you can be :) And may your horse's wings always grow stronger & stronger & stronger :) I pray you'd always add light to all that you touch & make this world a brighter one :) May your life be as fluffy as a bird's feather & your heart always smile like a kid's laughter :)

Here's a special song dedicated to you, oh special knight :) You can watch it here :)

When you feel all alone in this world

And there's nobody to count your tears

Just remember, no matter where you are

Allah knows Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load

And you wonder how far you can go

With every step on that road that you take

Allah knows Allah knows

No matter what, inside or out

There's one thing of which there's no doubt

Allah knows Allah knows

And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth

Every star in this whole universe

Allah knows Allah knows

When you find that special someone <3

Feel your whole life has barely begun <3

You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone <3

Allah knows Allah knows <3

When you gaze with love in your eyes

Catch a glimpse of paradise

And you see your child take the first breath of life

Allah knows Allah knows

When you lose someone close to your heart

See your whole world fall apart

And you try to go on but it seems so hard

Allah knows Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose

Through the valleys and hills we go

With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown

Allah knows Allah knows

Every grain of sand, In every desert land, He knows

Every shade of palm, Every closed hand, He knows

Every sparkling tear, On every eyelash, He knows

Every thought I have, And every word I share, He knows

Allah knows

~ By Zain Bhikha & Dawud Wharnsby ~

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Two Point Five: is his majic number,

He played its game to make me wonder..

His smart tricks always work for me,

And to another world they make me flee..

Just like this Saturday, but 13 ones ago,

He melted my heart without letting me know..

And it went so quick & fast,
As if I fell in a field of quicksand..

Friday, September 25, 2009

His Batta <3

(picture's source)~

She always smells so good,

Much more yummier than her food..

Her hands always glow,

With that book she constantly holds..

Her words are loud and clear,

And her silence is all sincere..

Her eyes are deeply wise,

Reflecting the love of her Qais..

She misses him but doesn't tear,

'Cuz she knows that day is near..

Where she'll fly & hold him close,

'Cuz by God he has been chose..

Friday, September 18, 2009

I m p e n e t r a b l e


The following is one of my favorite scenes of all time, taken off one of my favorite movies: "Crash".. If you wanna watch this scene, please click here :)
It takes place between a father & his daughter.. It starts with the father:
"How's it goin'?


You didn't get scared or something, did you? There's no monsters in the closet, right? 'Cause I hate monsters.

There's no such thing as monsters.

Ah, that's a good thing.

I heard a bang.

Like a truck bang?

Like a gun.

That's funny, 'cause we moved outta that bad neighborhood. And there's not too many guns around here.

How far can bullets go?

They go pretty far. But they usually get stuck in something and stop.

What if they don't?

You thinking about that bullet that came through your window? You think we should move again?

I like it here.

Me too. But if that bullet found out where we lived...Oh, hold on.


So stupid! How can I forget this?


Nah. Forget it. You ain't gonna believe me.

Tell me.

Okay. When I was five, this fairy came into my room one night.


See, I told you you weren't gonna believe me. Okay, go to sleep now, you little rat.

No, tell me.

Okay. So this fairy comes into my room and I'm like,"Yeah, right, you're a fairy." Anyway, we're talking, you know. And she's flying all around the room, knocking down all my posters and stuff.

She was flying?

She had these little stubby wings. She could've glued 'em on, you know? Like I'm gonna believe she's a fairy. So she said, "I'll prove it." So she reaches into her backpack. And she pulls out this invisible cloak. She ties it around my neck, and she tells me that it's impenetrable. You know what impenetrable means? It means that nothing can go through it. No bullets. Nothing. She told me that if I wore it, nothing would hurt me. So I did. And my whole life, I never got shot, stabbed. Nothing. I mean, how weird is that? Only she told me that I was supposed to give it to my daughter on her fifth birthday. And I forgot.

Can I touch it?

Sure, go ahead.

I don't feel it.

Yeah. It's pretty cool, huh? I can take it off and tie it around your shoulders. She told me how to do it. Unless you think it's stupid.

Don't you need it?

No, not anymore. So what do you think? You want it? Okay, let's get outta here.


Put your head up.


Is that too tight? Do you feel anything at all? Good. Then it's just right.

Do I take it off when I have a bath?

No, you leave it on all the time. Until you have a daughter when she turns five, then you give it to her. Okay?


Okay. Good night, sweetie.

Good night."

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I only wanted to....


When will I stop making mistakes? When will I learn it all? When will I know when/how to do ONLY the right things? I guess never..

I believe before my graduation day, I'd never get that A*.. Maybe after I graduate, and somewhere up there, I'd be perfectly clear on how to be always right.. But until then.... But until then, I have to accept the fact of not ever reaching that A*..

I'd like to thank all of those whom have loved me with my mistakes & accepted me as I am.. I promise I'd always do the best I can & love you all the best I can.. And sorry if my love for any of you comes out the wrong way or takes us the wrong direction, that would surely not be my intent.. Definitely not..


Sorry for ruining it all,

You know I didn't ever mean to..

I'd never ever want to see you fall,

Nor ever ever ever dare to..

I borrowed your love for blue to paint,

Your world with love that doesn't faint..

Not to ever make YOU blue,

Or hurt you all the way through..

Sorry now, yesterday & tomorrow,

And I wish I can never cause any sorrow..

Friday, September 11, 2009

Salt Of Life..

(picture's source)

I've always loved refilling our sugar jar, salt shaker or anything else that needed refilling.. It makes me feel content for some reason!

However, I almost never needed the salt shaker while having a meal.. It's always there, I see it & hand it a lot to others, but never really need it! Dunno if this is bad, but it's just me.. I can never tell whether the salt is too li'l or normal.. I can only tell when it's too much..

And this is how it is with many things in my life.. I don't really ask for more, as I never do want more.. The only thing I always like to add, is the chili flavor or the saucy dressing! Not salt, no, not to taste things more, no, but just make it spicier.. Is that a crime? :$


I wish us all acceptance in these blessed nights & pray for always having new beginnings for better selves.. May we always get refills that freshen our spirits & bring our hearts to life.. Amen :)


Tuesday, September 08, 2009

"That pill that they call pride.."


"I've been travelin' on this road too long

Just trying to find my way back home

But the old me is dead and gone

Dead and gone


I turn my head to the east I don't see nobody by my side

I turn my head to the west still nobody in sight

So I turn my head to the north swallow that pill that they call pride

That old me's dead and gone but the new me will be alright"

~ T.I. & J.T. ~


For those of you who've never heard this song, it discusses some real tragedies of life generated from need & so forth.. Anyways, whenever I used to hear it, I always felt like telling T.I. & J.T.: You guys, when you turn your head to the north & feel like swallowing your pride, kneel down! Prostrate, it's what you're looking for, but just can't find :( I pray with all my heart, for me, you & everyone else, to feel the blessing of our weaknesses to our Creator & let go of our bad pride to let space for our good one, amen! S U B M I T :)

Monday, September 07, 2009

U K H T Y <3


Remember that time I forced you to "fly" with me from our old white dining table's tip & broke your arm? I can't forgive myself until now!

Heart of my heart, soul of my soul, blood of my blood.. What can I say.. Firstly, know why I chose this pic? 'cuz it's so you :D You loved twirling ever since you knew how to walk :) Do you know that I still can't see you older than 9? I swear! Like I still see you as you were 10 years ago! That's how you're saved in my memory! Whenever your name comes up, it's that old you, the real old you, not what everyone sees now!

I still remember the very day you came to life.. I remember clearly all the details.. I remember your face, your hair, your smell.. I remember how I carried you & how scared mom was.. I remember that feeling that grew with your blooming everyday.. You were like my newest most real doll.. You were/are a real doll sis :) I loved playing with your hair, and making all weird hairdos that you never liked ;) I remember how I always watched your every step (even when barefoot ;) ) and never wanted to see you stumble.. I remember all the days I made you cry from my harsh overprotection that I had for you.. Do you forgive me? I hope you do..

Oh Dolly, if you know how much I love you.. You are the oldest song of my heart.. You're the music to my soul.. I swear it, without you, my smile would fade & my eyes would shade! May God protect you & save you from all harm, & may your laughter & giggle ring in this world & always make it a happier one, just as always :)

I wish you all the baraka you need & a safe journey in your colorful new world, amen <3


Sunday, September 06, 2009

I m i s s . . . . . .


I miss finding your flower on my pillow..

I miss your promises of a better tomorrow..

I miss hearing your keys' noises by the door..

I miss your foot steps on our floors..

I miss knowing that every time I fall, you'll be there..

I miss your love, passion & care..

I miss hearing your loud talks on the phone..

I miss hearing your prayers at every dawn..

I miss seeing you so into what you're reading..

I miss your ways with the li'l kids while feeding..

I miss hugging you until you got bored..

I miss all your talks about how we should fear our Lord..

I miss all your stories of the past & how it's went so fast..

I miss your reminders of our supplications & safety preparations..

I miss your firm words & all your strong holds..

I miss, oh how I miss you on your prayer mat..

I miss you so much that it hurts so bad..

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

C u b e - C u b o i d

What are a few lines scribbled in a few seconds? What are a few words said in a spur of a moment? What are a few moves made from the heart? What are a few moments spent in laughter? What are a few tears running down for love? What are a few tries in imitating a beautiful voice? What are a few limits for getting a better picture?

If they mean nothing to you, they are EVERYTHING to me!


Thank you for being you <3