Saturday, December 27, 2008
Did you ever try swimming in December in an outdoor pool without freezing? I did, just last night ;)
I really wanna feel cold.. Wanna freeze.. Here, in the land of warmth & shining sun, its hard to feel that..
To all you people freezing out there, look at the bright side, you're FEELING COLD :)
Friday, December 26, 2008
This picture tells exactly how I feel on that land.. The land that carried the prophets of Allah.. The land that carried The Blessed Lady, Maryam.. The land of all lands.. I feel so good knowing that I'll be stepping there soon, inshaAllah.. I know time will be short, but I wanna take every breath I can & recharge my senses.. Wanna grow my heart stronger.. Wanna get blessings.. Wanna kiss those foreheads.. Wanna do so many things, so help me God..
Mr. Laundry Man passed away.. You don't know him, neither do I.. But his favors were many, to us & others.. He's made many people's lives look prettier.. He's saved our times, & with his old hands beautified our existence.. Please pray for him on this lovely Friday & ask ArRaheem to make it easy on him & his loved ones.. I don't know if they'll be able to see him for one last time, or the papers will stand on their way.. Pudding took his money & decided to plant it for Mr. Laundry Man's path (f)
Ya Allah :')
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Yeah, so I was thinking, why do we always throw the seeds of the fruits after having 'em? I think it'd be better if we save 'em & then plant them, or give 'em to those who do that.. Whenever I have a date, I feel so bad when throwing it's seed.. I'm thinking not to any more..
I'm not much of a reader, I wish I was.. I enjoy reading so much when it's a good read.. When it has a lotta flying & drifting in it.. And when I'm in THAT mode.. Mode is the secret to it all.. I fear the future with its seasonal moods.. Swinging ones.. I fear not having the power to contain it.. I fear having people who wouldn't help & support me when need be..
I read a very old love letter today, full of inspiration & lovely dreams.. I wonder how she felt when reading it.. I also wonder how he grew to be so.. So.. So loving.. Where's the love, the love, the love..
We need to know that the purpose behind our creation is filled with LOVE.. If we realize that, things are surely gonna get better!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I love/d it:
When a cute li'l kiddo was blowing bubbles & this huge one came right at me, touched me, & decided not to blow up & carried on flying :)
When a butterfly came to our classroom & spread giggles all over my class :)
When I got sooooooo sick & saw that extreme unconditional love sparkle in their eyes :)
When we sat together & looked six again :)
When the kids in my class made me a star & a tiara :)
When the night turns into day :)
When I look at my room's curtains :)
When Pudding hugs/kisses me without me begging for it :)
When I feel God Watching over me :)
When R. imitated me & hung stars in her bedroom like the ones I hung for the class :)
When I see two birds together (I never see one on its own!) :)
When someone says something nice about someone behind their back :)
When I found that seat from between a hundred others :)
When daddy helps with our house chores :)
When I cause a real smile :)
When I write here :)
When you get me :)
When I get a real warm tap on my shoulder, & when............ so much more things to share, but I gotta go & gotta post this.. So smile, for God likes it when you do :)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Why is everyone around me a “sometimes” person, somehow? They sometimes smile & sometimes frown like they’ve never smiled ever before.. They sometimes laugh & spread love & at some other times they freak others out like hell.. They sometimes shine like a dancing sunshine on a breezy ocean, and at other times they jump up & down with anger eating others’ flesh OUT LOUD!
I’d like to declare tonight that I’m not & would never want to die knowing that I’m somehow remotely close to being a “sometimes” girl!
I’m an “all timer”! A kid’s smile can lift my spirit at any given time.. Hearing ‘em say “Miss Sara” makes my heart dance at all times.. Birds coming to our balcony always puts a smile on my face.. In my saddest moment, I can’t but smile to others.. In my deepest pain, I know how to take hold of my very inside.. Dad pointing to the new moon, or them red clouds saying: “subhanAllah” would always make me touch the sky.. Looking at the kids’ drawings on my room’s walls always reminds me that it can all, somehow, get better..
Why would they kill themselves by acting sometimes sweet & at other times loosing it? How stupid they must be! I mean, it’s easier to be angry all the time instead of acting sweet & ruining it by being angry.. khalas, be angry & touch the real you & then take a change from there.. But don’t convince yourself that you’re the good guy, while you KNOW that you’re nothing even C.L.O.S.E. to that!
Don’t the good ones know that they’re bad at times & take it from there? Isn’t this why they’re called good in the first place?!
Don’t go blaming others for your mess.. It’s your mess dude! YOURS!
Guys, WALLAHI, By Allah, we don’t have much time left.. My dear friend called today telling me how she misses her mom & how she’d do anything to have her back for only one second.. Don’t waste your time over stupid silly drives that would lead to nothing but regret.. And don’t hesitate on doing things that are beautiful.. BonsaiSky, inna lillah wa inna ilaihy raji'oon.. Akeeeeed!
Pardon me, but I’m a li’l amazed! And anyways, to pass a smile on, now that you’ve read this far, li’l sara (a beautiful girl I teach with a beautifully long Arabian hair) had this dream of me: “I saw you miss in the mall looking like a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig candy & all the school kids eating you up..” :D
Thursday, December 04, 2008
"O people! Behold, we have created you from a male and a female and have made you into nations and tribes to that you might come to know one another. Verily, the noblest of you in the sight of God is the one who is most deeply conscious of Him. Behold, God is all-knowing, all-aware." [Qur'an 49:13]
"Know one other".. A wrong/funny example of "knowing" one another is described here by Batouly..
I've met so many people in my life.. So many.. From all different backgrounds.. One thing I learnt, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!
However, it breaks my heart when I trust my instincts, & after a while, they prove me wrong :'(
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
How many good words do we lock inside & fear spilling out? How many nice feelings do we refrain from sharing; thinking that by doing so, we'll be stronger?! :(
I just read one of the most beautiful things I've ever read.. It came from someone who says it out loud whenever & wherever.. In the short time I've known her, I saw in her some beautiful stuff that you'd hardly get to see nowadays.. Well, my dear M. said: "My family is the reason I get up every day!!After 18 years, my husband still makes me laugh and gives me butterflies in my stomach when he smiles!!!!!" How gorgeous is that! MashaAllah :D
It's really good to live in peace starting from within yourself all the way out :) And that doesn’t come easily.. It comes after connection.. A real strong connection; with God, with yourself & with all that surrounds you..
And one of the best connections that I love experiencing, is connecting with the past.. Whether mine, or others’.. Last night, after talking about “our” national day, I started recalling all different things that happened on that day on each new year.. I remember when I was a bit younger, there was this roundabout -that was there for years- which was decorated in this simple way that always brought me joy.. It’s now no more than a memory that draws a smile on my face :)
One of the words that also gives me joy whenever it’s said is: “Labbayk”.. At a young age, our Qur’an teachers made this beautiful small ka’ba-like black box to teach us how to perform hajj.. God, what memories that day brings me! It felt like flying! Man, that’s my number one wish: Hajj! Khaaaaaaaloooooooooooo, I’m sooooooooo happy for you guys! You’re chosen, by HIM, from amongst millions; to be there this year, inshaAllah :D Mubarak inshaAllah uncolty :D
Labayka Allahuma labayk, labayka la shareeka laka labayk.. Inna alhamda, wa inni’mata laka walmulk, laaaaaa shareeka lak :D
Here I am at your service, oh Lord, here I am - here I am.. No partner do you have.. Here I am.. Truly, the praise and the favor are yours, and the dominion.. No partner do you have.. :D
“Allah holds the master plan and it's already written
The pens are withdrawn, the pages are dry... it's written!
Looking back on my life
Life that's gladly been given to me
Open my eyes and embrace the smile
Given to you & I”
~ Outlandish ~
La illaha illa Allah :)
Allaaaahu Akbar :)
And yet, there are words left unsaid..
P.S. Let's fast the "nine days" together :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
It's amazing how ........................ Isn't it? It always makes me wonder about so many things, & of those things: "do I really wanna know what's there waiting for me? Do I?".. Of course I rely totally on His Will, but something's always gotta give!
Ya Allah! You Are Truth! You Are Light! You Are My Everything! You know what brothers & sisters, it's pretty relieving having Him as your everything! IT IS!
Whenever I'm happy, I get this tingly feeling in my chest, coming right from my heart, & I always wonder if there's a physical theory behind it, & I don't even care now if there's one; 'cuz right now, that's how I feel, & it feels good! I wish I can share it with everybody..
Allahu Akbar :)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Friday, November 07, 2008
** From Thursday's Quiz **~
Do you have a wish? Write your wish here.
"My wish is to fly over the rainbow." -- F.K.
"I wish to sleep on my own. Can this wish happen? please :)" -- H.
"My wish is to be the smartest kid ever, but this is very hard, it will take years and years and years and years and years and years and years and years." -- O.A.
"I wish to be a fairy flying in the air. I wish I can do wand in my hand." -- S.A. *wand = wind
"To sleep forever" -- A.S.
"I wish my drother giets good markes, so my dad dosent gite angry." -- N.
"I wish miss sara could be one of my family." -- A.A.
"I wish to have a castle of choclate and I wish I could see how big is the sun and I wish to see dinasaure and I could fly." -- D.G.
"I wish I could see my dad, but I couldn't see him because he is died." -- S.A.
"I wish I could see my teacher "miss sara" everyday, and I wish to fly." -- R.A.
"My wish is to have a smiley face and to have a big stars. I love to be an astronauts to fly and see the moons, and stars, and earth." -- Q. *tickly boy*
"I wish I have many babies when I becom big. It's really very nice to have them." -- R.R.
"I wish I could fly in sky like a bird" -- S.A.
"I wish for no school, and no learning." -- A.
"I wish that I can flyin the sky like a butterfly and I wish my friends love eashother." -- W.T.K.
"I wish I have 100 packeges of nuttela. I wish I well be a scientist who goes to the moon." -- M.R.
"I wish I had a monster truck. I wish I could fly. I wish I could go to the moon." -- S.A.
** GIRLS in pink ** ~~~~ ** BOYS in blue **
Monday, November 03, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Last night while driving, & in the midst of all the ongoing mess, I felt the seat belt holding me real tight! I don’t know if it was fastened especially tight that night or it was me needing that stiff feeling that held my chest firmly.. I never really felt that belt as much as I felt it yesterday.. And you know what? It felt good! It felt safe.. It felt warm.. It felt cozy.. It was firmly fit, just holding all my fears down as I’ve always wanted them to..
I love sticking to one corner in this world.. In this life.. In this crazy roller coaster ride.. I love my window.. I love seeing the sea through it.. I don’t necessarily have to touch it (the sea) with my feet to get connected to it.. It’s already a part of me.. I was given today this sea shell that was once a moving independent being.. It belongs to Him, & I-small li’l me-belong to Him exactly as this small li’l shell does.. He Has it all.. He Knows it all.. He Watches it with all His Mercy, His unlimited Mercy..
How can we not comprehend all of this! This right here, lying inside of these weak ribs! It’s all so clear to us, but we wear those stupid blindfolds & make fools of ourselves.. Poor us, missing on a lot; just by fighting.. Fighting against our very own selves! Poor us!
Buckle up dear ones; for we can’t really take hold all the time!
* shine on brohy :) *
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sis was humming earlier today my old dancing doll's lullaby.. I tried to remember it months ago, but failed to.. Daddy,
Isn't it amazing how small details carry huge meanings in our hearts? Like for example the sound of those wheels of that strong old suitcase of ours, it means so much, & it stirs feelings that no earthquake can ever stir.. I miss you..
*sigh* (Just today, I taught my cute li'l angels meanings of new words, & of them was the word: sigh.. I saw in their innocent eyes a big wonder about the human need for one..)
I'd like to leave you with this, & hope this wild world wouldn't get to your soft <3s
Peace out :)
Friday, October 17, 2008
I remember when I was in school, our teachers used to tell us whenever we got messy in class that we turn it to a fish market! Every time they’d say that, I wonder, why fish market? A fish market is one very organized place to go to, at least to me!
Every Thursday was a sea food day.. I’d go with daddy to the fish market & get the freshest shrimps, fish & crabs.. And his curiosity sometimes brought along new kinds of sea animals :) We’d come home & then comes the cleaning of the shrimps & the smell, hmmmmmmmm, yu mmy ! It amazes me when people say that the fish market stinks! I LOVE the smell of fish! Yesterday, I went with daddy to the same old fish market (the one we haven’t been to a lot recently like we have in the past; due to dad’s frequent travels), & my oh my! The feelings that rushed through!
F e e l i n g s !
Cotton reels.. They mean so much to me.. Just by seeing them I see teta’s hands.. I see her beautiful grey hair.. I see so many colors.. I see my past, my present & my future..
Future.. Future has never been a scary thought to me.. It’s not that I haven’t seen dark days & had to step into pitch black rooms, on the contrary.. But I see others so scared.. So scared to an unbelievable extent.. I have friends who are so worried & their husbands are just as weak as a broken kite lost in a windy night.. Can’t you see the birds? Who fills them up? Who grants them mates? How do they feed their li’l ones? Just look at the birds coming to our balcony..
I heard this hilarious egyptian song today, it was funny! But funnily sad.. It says, “Mama I wanna get married, but I got no money, I work hard & save up, but I don’t even own a needle….”!!!! I wish the very same singer could sing about birds.. And if he may, about this beautiful bird of paradise..
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Days passed by, & with every cloud she saw & every dream she dreamt, the love in her heart grew bigger & stronger for all that’s surrounding her.. Starting from her Most Merciful Sustainer, all the way to the silent breathless things lying around; things just as precious as her old cherished pair of shoes.. And with the fact of her heart loving everything, the thought of his love scared her; ‘cuz it’ll be a brand new kind of condensed love.. A “double condensed” love that melts two in one.. A love that her ancestors once had.. A love she’s heard & read about that doesn’t have a home now, just as strange as Aladdin’s magic carpet.. Will she experience it, or will finding Aladdin’s carpet be an easier task, that she always wondered..
Right now, she’s in crossroads, yet again.. She needs a helping hand.. A guide.. A lighthouse.. A star.. A plan.. A plan a, b & whatever more she can get.. Her little plan now is to hold on to her old pair of shoes, & wait.. Why wait? ‘cuz she’s too sick to do anything else now..
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Well, as days pass me by, they add new things to myself, my heart, my mind & my body.. A new sight.. A new feeling.. A new impulse.. A new freckle.. It's pretty amazing how time never stops & how we always try to stop it, instead of trying to take it by the hand & befriend it..
Things have been changing a lot around me, & I was thinking that it was only things that were changing.. As a matter of fact, I have been changing too.. People see me differently & treat me differently, & well, sometimes I like it, & at other times I don't..
With these changes we should always think, are these changes increasing our credits or subtracting from them.. I'm always thirsty over here.. Thirsty & hungry for things that are hard to get.. I wonder if my tomorrow will come with all I seek, or with sorrow that I always fear..
A big happy hello to you all nice hearted people, & great wishes for joy & success in all you do with love & care.. Amen :)
I'm sorry about your great loss.. I pray your mom is in a better place dearie.. I can't wait to see you & hug you & cry with you & promise you to meet with her in a better place & in a joyful time.. Her struggle here was long, but will happily bring her to her long wanted dream.. Amen.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I know you need a laugh; & so, I'll try to help you with one.. Even though it'll be AT ME, but yalla, what am I gonna lose.. Here we go.. I have this li'l tiny threat that I use in the emergency cases when the class goes wild & things get outa control.. I usually go like: "If you keep on doing this, I'll go to mrs. J & tell her that I can't teach your class & ask her to get you a new teacher.." Usually, the response would be: "Thorry mith, latht time.. We'll thtay quiet.." But today, it was an unexpected failure to me! After I said what I said, one kid went like: "It's okay, we'll ask mrs. J to get us miss G, she's sweet.." & then the rest of the class started agreeing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, that was such an embarrassment :$
Sunday, August 31, 2008
You know how you wake up sometimes with a certain rhythm playing through your mind or words floating along? Well, I’ve been up with these almost every morning now.. Yesterday, I woke up with “Aljanatu haq, wannaru haq” on my mind! I woke up saying it!!!!!!!!! And today, I woke up with daddy’s comforting voice singing to my heart the beautiful egyptian lullaby: “baba habeeby Allah yekhalih, yetawil omro we (dunno what :$ ), gably aroosa we akhooya hosan, shee ya hosan, orosy ya aroosa orosy ya aroosa..” :)
I still remember my doll in her beautiful big pink gown dancing round & round.. I really don’t know where it went! Babaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :’(
And yeah, I’ve been quite down for the past few days, no; weeks, & something really really cute made me happy from the inside out.. Bro (a year & a half younger than me, but I always feel that he’s older.. I throw everything difficult on him & he just magically makes it a whole lot easier!) stood in the house, on top of the stairs & said in the loudest voice, & in the most beautiful arabic accent: The prophet salla Allahu 'alaihy wa sallam said: “Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer! They are all for his benefit. If he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres; and this is best or him.”.. I couldn’t but run upstairs & squash him reeeeeeeeal hard! Thank you bro! I love you <3
If you noticed, rasulu Allah salla Allahu 'alaihy wasallam didn't say the affairs of a 'muslim', he said of a 'believer'.. May we be amongst the believers.. Amen.
This will be my prayer for this Ramadan; being amongst the believers.. Wait a minute, did I say Ramadan? Ramadan as in Ramadan? Like I lived another year & will be blessed inshaAllah to live another brand new Ramadan & meet with that night, the one worth a thousand nights? What?
** Ramadan kareem, mubarak, happy & accepted everyone :D **
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** And my invitation is still on **
P.S. This is for arabs, I wish there was an english version to it..
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Another sad day,
Just another sad day..
What is joy anyway,
In a world without one love ray..
My dear tante is getting sick,
And her green pea is not ref-lec-ting..
Even light is changing,
Not as bright & slowly fading..
I’m sure those peas of her,
Were only used in all that’s fair..
And so they’ll be her light up there,
Making her smile in between them stares..
Monday, August 25, 2008
"Missing" goes a loooooong way for me.. Long way! The problem with missing now is that with the new technology, you get to face the ones your missing, hear them, see them & get affected by that more than if you don't..
Back in the old days, words were carried for days & days along with that breath of life blown down to you from your beloved ones.. Now.. Now is always different.. Why do I always feel that 'now' has/will never been mine anyway? Never will it be 'my way'..
And this was for missing the ones you've seen & known already.. The others you haven't, oh well, that's a different story!
I miss you :(
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I missed fajr again today :( Something bad has to always happen in my day when fajr is missed! SubhanAllah.. Forgive me ya Allah!
It's pretty scary how we understand & yet.. And yet act as fools.. The situation is always: I 'know', but I 'don't' (don't do, don't say, whatever 'don't' you may) :(
The weather has been acting as crazy as I've been feeling lately.. It's always like that with me by the way.. Weather goes side by side with my mood! What's even funnier is that today, I've been having this electrical spark with anything metal I touch! LOL! Talking of crazy!
I took this really beautiful picture of the tree branches that I see from my room's window every morning.. So I'll leave your imagination to take you to those beautiful leaves with the very white cotton clouds as their background.. At night, when the chilly wind blows, gosh, it gets a li'l scary :$
I pray that we all could find the best of us, while we're still here.. Amen.
"Friday night I'm going nowhere
All the lights are changing green to red
Turning over TV stations
Situations running through my head
Looking back through time
You know it's clear that I've been blind
I've been a fool
To open up my heart
To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule
Saturday I'm running wild
And all the lights are changing red to green
Moving through the crowds I'm pushing
Chemicals all rushing in my bloodstream
Only wish that you were here
You know I'm seeing it so clear
I've been afraid
To show you how I really feel
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made
Sunday all the lights of London
Shining , Sky is fading red to blue
I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves
And wondering where it is you might be going to
Turning back for home
You know I'm feeling so alone
I can't believe
Climbing on the stair
I turn around to see you smiling there
In front of me"
~ Babylon - David Gray ~
A li'l update: Didn't I say something bad has to happen when I miss fajr? Today's fajr, something so weird happened that was going to end my life.. I missed fajr for the past two days & so I believe I got a li'l 'push'.. I didn't get scared alhamduliLlah, but the pain was unbearable.. Well, I woke up, just minutes before my alarm went off, to a very life-threatening allergy; that caused my breathing to almost stop! I didn't eat anything new or do anything weird! My throat was almost blocked, my eyes so red & puffy (just as beautiful as Hitch's ;) ), making me barely see, while itching me like never before, & my nose running nonstop! Unable to breathe, I thought I was gonna die.. Didn't want to bother others, I pulled myself to prayer & then tried to get back to sleep; to get over the pain.. I wondered, when was the last time that I had ever felt so sick, but couldn't recall anything making me this weak.. It was REALLY BAD.. Gosh! It was nothing even like the appendectomy I had! Way worse!
We just can't lay back & give in to ourselves.. We gotta fight it & let our souls dance in the Light; 'cuz that's the only source of nourishment we (weak creatures) could ever get..
Puffy eyed sara