Thursday, December 18, 2008

s o m e t i m e s

(picture's source)

Why is everyone around me a “sometimes” person, somehow? They sometimes smile & sometimes frown like they’ve never smiled ever before.. They sometimes laugh & spread love & at some other times they freak others out like hell.. They sometimes shine like a dancing sunshine on a breezy ocean, and at other times they jump up & down with anger eating others’ flesh OUT LOUD!

I’d like to declare tonight that I’m not & would never want to die knowing that I’m somehow remotely close to being a “sometimes” girl!

I’m an “all timer”! A kid’s smile can lift my spirit at any given time.. Hearing ‘em say “Miss Sara” makes my heart dance at all times.. Birds coming to our balcony always puts a smile on my face.. In my saddest moment, I can’t but smile to others.. In my deepest pain, I know how to take hold of my very inside.. Dad pointing to the new moon, or them red clouds saying: “subhanAllah” would always make me touch the sky.. Looking at the kids’ drawings on my room’s walls always reminds me that it can all, somehow, get better..

Why would they kill themselves by acting sometimes sweet & at other times loosing it? How stupid they must be! I mean, it’s easier to be angry all the time instead of acting sweet & ruining it by being angry.. khalas, be angry & touch the real you & then take a change from there.. But don’t convince yourself that you’re the good guy, while you KNOW that you’re nothing even C.L.O.S.E. to that!

Don’t the good ones know that they’re bad at times & take it from there? Isn’t this why they’re called good in the first place?!

Don’t go blaming others for your mess.. It’s your mess dude! YOURS!

Guys, WALLAHI, By Allah, we don’t have much time left.. My dear friend called today telling me how she misses her mom & how she’d do anything to have her back for only one second.. Don’t waste your time over stupid silly drives that would lead to nothing but regret.. And don’t hesitate on doing things that are beautiful.. BonsaiSky, inna lillah wa inna ilaihy raji'oon.. Akeeeeed!

Pardon me, but I’m a li’l amazed! And anyways, to pass a smile on, now that you’ve read this far, li’l sara (a beautiful girl I teach with a beautifully long Arabian hair) had this dream of me: “I saw you miss in the mall looking like a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig candy & all the school kids eating you up..” :D


Anonymous said...

Look big candy, I always struggle to get the message buried deep in your posts. This says loads about my stupidity or perhaps your sophistication. Either way, I think people, for the most part, show their feelings as they are, and life is tough. I don't know you good enough perhaps, but ain't seen nothing yet. People are moody, and sometimes they can hide it, but some times their emotions betray them. The vast majority of people are not whiners, but are simply overwhelmed by, the sometimes, unbearable load of life.

You speak of your friend wanting her mom back for a second, and you ponder upon the fact that nothing lasts and time is too short. Ever thought how is it like if you are the one who has not much time left? Do you have any idea how life means to you then? or how big very little things may seem and how small very big things may look? Ever experienced absolute loneliness? it is the loneliness you suffer when you are alone, but you even suffer worse when even everyone is around you. It is the burden of carrying a load that no one can see you carrying. Just a complete loss of connection with everyone, because no one has any idea what life has thrown upon you. You are going through hell, you can't stop, and you've got to keep going.

Big Candy, you ain't seen nothing yet. You have no business talking about people the way you did.

Sorry if I was boring and/or harsh. But you MUST realize how serious a business life is, then some more.

utp said...

Where "ALL-TIMES" something that great but hard to maintain "SOMETIMES" is something that is easier to do and also maintains the charm...

I prefer "SOMETIMES...

sara said...

Mohamed Hassan, (I'm still waiting to see the light on the other side)

I agree with every single word you said.. And it kills me when you say that my posts are hard to grasp, am I that mysterious? :(

Kalamak kollo sah.. I totally agree!

Where did I go wrong?!

I ain't seen nothing yet.. Well, you know what? I don't even want to! Bigad.. *sigh*

Ya Allah..

We're all sometimes at a point.. I, personally, am moody & get turned off very easily.. But I meant being sometimes with your own self.. Loving things for a while & for another while being unsure.. That's what I HATE!

On a side note, It's always great to have you pass by.. Please send my salams to all :)

Gold said...

Read this one before, but didn't comment on purpose.. Why? because the post accuses the person that is me, or colors me with a Red color that is not me nor it is a Red color..

If the definition of a "sometimes" person has been provided by you accurately, then humanity is not okay, and I don't disagree with that, but i do disagree with the reason of it for being "sometimes" people.

We are ALL sometimes people, we have been created that way, to provide ourselves with choices and streams of blessings. If i am not a sometimes person, then when I start on drinking Alcohol for example I should never stop, because sometimes when I feel guilt i shouldn't listen to the sound of it and carry on doing what I'm doing.

being "sometimes" people open up ways for ourselves that are mostly not open for Robots. We are complex creatures, that is true, but our spikes and troughs of everything for sure could be handled with wisdom, and we could learn what is best for us through them.

With respect of course..

sara said...

Well Abdo, I think -after reading your comments (Mo's, UTP's & yours)- I didn't express myself right.. So I guess its my bad! I agree with you three, & therefore I think I didn't express my point correctly (since you three disagree with what I said; mistakenly)..

I wasn't talking about our humane mood swinging or our ups and downs.. I DID NOT mean being ‘sometimes’ as in sometimes right & sometimes wrong.. I was discussing a totally different perspective.. I was discussing I way of life.. Reaction incidents based on an unstable base.. People with no pillars..

Ummmm.. Examples:
Daddy treats people around him with the same tone, even when he’s in the worst situation of all.. I remember that day he came back with this museeba & didn’t bring it out on any one around him.. Another example, there’s this lady who treats kids sooooooooo good & expresses her love for them in this great way.. But when her mood is bad, she could LITERALLY hurt them while KNOWING.. Ya’ny she lives her life ‘ala mazagha.. Get me now? And her love for those kids is superficial, akeed.. Don’t tell me “you never know”.. No, I know! God Is my Witness..

I hope I’ve expressed my point better now..

Gold said...

:) indeed you have..

Sometimes, just sometimes life becomes to harsh on you, to the extent that the vision of your backbone gets a little blurred, and of course there are a lot of creatures around that feel contented just trying to aid in carrying out something like that.

Best practice they say is to go into the cave at those times lest you would hurt someone. After all we are human beings, and we are weak as per God's wisdom, so we sometimes do snap.. just sometimes.. :)


sara said...

"sometimes i run, sometimes i hide...." An old song :)

Backbone.. Alhamdullillah mine is considerably strong, & I'm sure yours is too :)

God Bless :)