Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Tagged by Jannah :)

I’m it! Fair enough.. Besides, it’s sometimes nice to be it.. Because when you’re it, you know where you stand.. But when you’re not it, you just be.. I’m not making sense, so let’s get going..
Now I have to say five things that you don’t know about me.. Umm.. I’ll go randomly..


(1) At the age of 14, It was found that li’l sara’s eyesight was getting weak, so she had to wear glasses in order to preserve her eyesight from going weaker.. It was -0.75.. Anyways, she hated glasses so much that she lost & bought new glasses 6 times within 2 year!!!! And avoided wearing them almost all the time; which lead to another decrease in her eyesight.. It turned -1 & then after a while -1.25.. Anyways, at the age of sixteen, after begging her daddy & convincing him, he bought her contact lenses.. Now her eyes were way too sensitive & oily, to the limit that caused her eyesight to drop again to -1.75.. Anyways.. Right now, li’l old sara wants to do a surgery, but got hesitant after reading
this.. So what do you think Jannah? By the way, let me add, I never wore colored contact lenses EVER! Alhamdulillah for it all.. How does a li'l see through lense make the world look better!
(2) I pray fast.. Most of the time.. And I hate myself for doing that.. I ask Allah to guide me in taking more time while performing my prayers.. Amen.
(3) I think of the death of my beloved ones almost all the time.. Everyday.. And I fear that a lot.. Death is hadim allathat wa mofariq aljama’aat.. Even as a li’l kid, I used to write my parents cards saying “May I die before you”.. They used to yell at me for that.. I don’t know if this is a psychological problem or what! But I fear their death so much.. I think that’s not right one way or another.. Don’t know what to do about that!
(4) Small things make me happy. No really.. Tiny li’l things that don’t need effort! Like a card for example.. And not necessarily someone giving me the card.. Me giving them as well.. I love giving.. Or oh…. This thing.... Okay, the other day I stoped at the traffic light waiting for it to turn green.. & there was a car in front of me with a small ceiling opening.. Now how did I know that the ceiling had an opening? Well, the dude/dudette driving put up their hand through it doing some abracadabra moves (using only their hand), which made my day.. I laughed out loud with my li’l bro for so long.. We couldn’t believe it.. The person would put up their hand, then gradually bring it down, then fast up, and do some more abracadabra moves then back down.. Until the lights went green. I think I’ll never forget this incident :)
(5) I really don’t like the dowry of a woman for marriage being jewelry.. Don’t like it..

Mortal Mulsim

Anyhow, this sara I’ve been talking about is mortal.. And will leave this world taking along all she’s done.. And there is this thing I live with, & advise you all to do.. Fear Allah as if you see Him.. If you don't see Him, then always bear in mind that He does see you.. Oh Allah make me a better human being.. One good enough to enter your paradise.. Amen.. Us all.. Ameeeen. Oh Allah don’t let us go astray..

Monday, January 29, 2007

NO for indifference!! NO!!

Well, I took this photograph almost six months ago through the planes’ little window.. It was while we were taking off.. Everything was passing by so quickly.. So I paused in this petite shot; as I discovered that somewhat something ain’t right.. Something significant.. And that would be the l i f e we’re living.. The dealings we have everyday.. The priorities we consider.. What? What? What is it we want? And why ‘desire’ all the time.. ‘Enough’ is gone form our vocabulary lists.. Kefaya isn’t there anymore..
Life is what you make it.. Try fixing it all you souls out there.. Put things in place.. Don’t know if you’ve ever watched this Egyptian movie “hysteria” –I’m not encouraging that by any means, ‘cuz there are some things that you shouldn’t see (like unveiled women etc..)-.. There is this part I never forget, & that was when Ahmed Zaki found out that his bro's doing haram; so around dawn he stood next to the window & said “Dad used to sit here and say ‘Oh God cover our faults & don’t scandal us’ ” May Allah have mercy upon his soul & grant him(ahmed zaki) jannah.. Amen. And all muslims.. Amen.
Disgrace doesn’t come knocking at our doors, we invite it.. With all fancy greeting cards..
I wish money wasn’t there.. Wish everyday would bring along it’s own goodness with hard work.. Wish our fridges would be empty by the end of each day, and everyday would be a new one, with it’s new struggle.. Wish women would step back and let men be.. Wish men would stand tall and have more honor.. Wanna see more men of honor.. Where did they go?! Wish to see kids’ innocence again..
I long for hearing more genuine laughs.. Wanna feel the warmth of mothers.. I yearn for tranquility in the houses.. Wanna see more tears shed.. If you wanna cry, cry.. Cry me a river.. Don’t stand there acting as if everything is ok.. No it ain’t okay.. So move and do something..
I only ask of God
He won’t let me be indifferent to the suffering
That the very dried up death doesn’t find me
Empty and without having given my everything

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Love it..

Can't seem to figure out the reason behind my love for this one..
Anyways the text in Arabic means something like:
"If you see injustice taking place.... .... Don't step back.... There is the One above.."
It says more, but I kinda didn't get it!!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Spanish seeing :)

Here we say:
"There's no worse blindman than that who doesn't want to see" ;)

Friday, January 26, 2007

Yusuf Estes was a Christian Preacher, but..

Sister Crystal..

Can't agree more NassehaMan!

Brother Abu Hafsa..

P o l e s A p a r t . .

I just found out that sound travels 5 times faster under water than through air!! Life under the sea is so different!! Waaaaaaaay different!! I wish I was a rock, or a water drop.. Wish I was a fish, or a sea weed.. Wish I was an ant or a bird.. I remember how someone always insisted on calling me a humming bird.. Wish I was anything but human.. Not to be judged for all my deeds.. I think of death everyday.. Life ain't fair.. But God is so Fair! May You guide me.. Save me.. Death never scared me really.. It's death of my beloved ones that has always gave me the creeps..I am positive my ending will be a good one.. I have faith in You God.. You won't let me down.. No You won't.. Please.. Ya Allah.. I'm so weak.. I'm nothing.. Protect me.. Let " Ashhadu anna La illaha illa Allah Muhammad rsulo Allah" be easy on my lips and tongue to say.. Let 'em be my last words.. Let my grave be a part of heaven.. Let me lose my eyesight if I'd use it in a haram.. Take my voice if it would be my reason to end up in hell.. No.. Not hell.. God.. Allah.. Illahy.. Not juhnnam.. Don't let me burn.. Burn here on earth but not in Hell.. Save me.. I repent.. From everything.. Let me lose all my senses if they'll go against me on that day.. The day where all will be exposed.. I fear your wrath.. Irda 'anny ya Rabb.. Ya Raheem.. Irhamny.. Ihdiny.. Aghithny.. Tob 'alaya ya Allah.. Irda ya Rabb.. Ostorna gamee'an.. Ostorna bisetrak.. I'fo 'anna.. Cleanse me.. Quench my thirst..

Thursday, January 25, 2007

So warm ;)

I don't chat to non-mahrams!!

“Guy+Girl Alone = Satan as their third”

Me & Myself

Me: Do you chat to guys (who are non-mahrams)?
Myself: Nope..
Me: Why?
Myself: ‘cuz we would be all alone & this would be a fitnah for myself if not for the guy.. Shaitan would be there..
Me: Do you reply to guys commenting on your blog?
Myself: Aha..
Me: So that’s chatting too!!
Myself: Well, I actually don’t see it that way; ‘cuz to me that’s a talk or a debate (u name it) in front of the whole world.. & then that would be up to me setting the limits or not..
Me: Do you reply to guys emailing you?
Myself: Aha.. According.. According to my intuition & sense of right or wrong!! WITH RESPECT..
Me: So you can chat with respect?!
Myself: I told you chatting would be all alone.. shaitan.. remember? Very slippery.. But replying would be under My supervision.. And mostly no replying takes place most of the time..
Me: You look like a hypocrite to me!!
Myself: Ya Allah.. That word freaks the hell out of me.. It’s a very big trap that anyone would fall into.. I ask you Allah everyday not to let me be one.. I remember the first encounter with this word happened when I was young.. Mama told me not to say something and be something else.. She told me a kafir is a kafir , a mu’min is a mu’min, but a hypocrite.. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks it, and when entrusted with something he betrays it” (Bukhari, 1.15: 33. S). And Allah Most High says, “Woe to whoever demeans others behind their back or to their face” (Qur’an 104:1). And the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Let there be no harming another, or harming him back. Whoever harms another Allah shall harm, and whoever gives trouble to another Allah shall give trouble to” (Hakim, 2.58. Hg). & daddy.. Oh, how he hated lying! MashaAllah..
Me: So how about work?!
Myself: Well, I’ve always made sure I’m on the right track.. I left a very attractive offer for the reason of having to deal with a lotta men.. & Allah replaced it with a better place but a lower salary :(.. Hamdulillah.. Remember? Whatsup 'me', too many questions today? You were always there!!

Me: Just a li'l shake!!
Myself: Keep 'em shakes coming.. One needs that every now & then..
Me: Will do inshaAllah..
Me & Myself:
Oh Allah please save me from the evil of myself & the evil of shaitan.. & guide me & all my brothers and sisters to the straight path.. Amen.

PS. I'm not seeking any praise here.. & Allah is my witness.. Just reminding myself before others..

Even her greeting card!!

How loving she is!!

--> The Heart Of The Qur'an <--

What better than that can I get?!
Jazaki Allahu khairu aljazaa dearest..
You know, I'd like to share with you all the beautiful ayahs dearest shared with me..
Oh before that, she said:
"... And the Book still goes, a year after, through borders and languages."
Here are the ayahs she shared:
* 3, 33-37
(3:33) GOD has chosen Adam, Noah, the family of Abraham, and the family of Amram (as messengers) to the people.
(3:34) They belong in the same progeny. GOD is Hearer, Omniscient.
(3:35) The wife of Amram said, "My Lord, I have dedicated (the baby) in my belly to You, totally, so accept from me. You are Hearer, Omniscient."
(3:36) When she gave birth to her, she said, "My Lord, I have given birth to a girl" - GOD was fully aware of what she bore - "The male is not the same as the female. I have named her Mary, and I invoke Your protection for her and her descendants from the rejected devil."
(3:37) Her Lord accepted her a gracious acceptance, and brought her up a gracious upbringing, under the guardianship of Zachariah. Whenever Zachariah entered her sanctuary he found provisions with her. He would ask, "Mary, where did you get this from?" She would say, "It is from GOD. GOD provides for whomever He chooses, without limits."
* 66, 12
Also Mary, the Amramite. She maintained her chastity, then we blew into her from our spirit. She believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures; she was obedient.
Sura 22, The Pilgrimage (Al-Hajj)
Sura 91, The Sun (Al-Shams)
Sura 23, The Believers (Al-Mu´minûn)
Sura 50, Q (Qãf)
* 19, 16-36
(19:16) Mention in the scripture Mary. She isolated herself from her family, into an eastern location.
(19:17) While a barrier separated her from them, we sent to her our Spirit. He went to her in the form of a human being.
(19:18) She said, "I seek refuge in the Most Gracious, that you may be righteous."
(19:19) He said, "I am the messenger of your Lord, to grant you a pure son."
(19:20) She said, "How can I have a son, when no man has touched me; I have never been unchaste."
(19:21) He said, "Thus said your Lord, `It is easy for Me. We will render him a sign for the people, and mercy from us. This is a predestined matter.' "
(19:22) When she bore him, she isolated herself to a faraway place.
(19:23) The birth process came to her by the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "(I am so ashamed;) I wish I were dead before this happened, and completely forgotten."
(19:24) (The infant) called her from beneath her, saying, "Do not grieve. Your Lord has provided you with a stream.
(19:25) "If you shake the trunk of this palm tree, it will drop ripe dates for you.
(19:26) "Eat and drink, and be happy. When you see anyone, say, `I have made a vow of silence; I am not talking today to anyone.' "
(19:27) She came to her family, carrying him. They said, "O Mary, you have committed something that is totally unexpected.
(19:28) "O descendant of Aaron, your father was not a bad man, nor was your mother unchaste."
(19:29) She pointed to him. They said, "How can we talk with an infant in the crib?"
(19:30) (The infant spoke and) said, "I am a servant of GOD. He has given me the scripture, and has appointed me a prophet.
(19:31) "He made me blessed wherever I go, and enjoined me to observe the Contact Prayers (Salat) and the obligatory charity (Zakat) for as long as I live.
(19:32) "I am to honor my mother; He did not make me a disobedient rebel.
(19:33) And peace be upon me the day I was born, the day I die, and the day I get resurrected."
* 2, 111-112

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

(: Bismillah :)

Just got your box dearest.. This is way too much.. Couldn’t stop my tears from flowing for like 10 minutes..I couldn’t even call you, nor message you.. What would that do!! You’ve always inspired my soul, touched my heart, heartened my mind.. & this time will patch up my body with he nuts & chocolates ;).. I don’t wanna open ‘em chocolates, unlike the Hamdy’s, they’re dying to.. Wanna keep ‘em as they are.. Maybe have ‘em with you sometime!! Don’t really know what to do with you li’l deep blue soul?! Wallahi too much.. All I can say is Wa alaiky assalam wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuHu:).. I’ve always prayed for you & always will inshaALlah.. I’ll never forget how much I prayed for you right in front of the Ka’bah & right after that heard the news.. Allahu Akbar.. Allah is sooooooo Kareem.. He’s Al-Noor.. Love you forever :) Thank you so much.. Thank you forever.. Thank you until we meet Him & you get your reward inshAllah.. Amen.

Monday, January 22, 2007

MaShRaBeYah ;)

All praise is due to Allah.. Mama & sis are back.. My uncle too.. But daddy is still there.. May Allah guide him in all it is that he's doing & protect him.. Amen.
So what has this got to do with the mashrabeyah, well, that was the first thing I wanted em to bring along.. a pic of it.. Thanks sis :).. Mashrabeyah is this li’l window you see here at the top.. It doesn’t open side-ways.. To open it, u push it from the bottom, and so it goes up.. But not all the way, I think something lie 45 degrees or so.. It’s idea always caught my attention, I think it has some Islamic background or something.. As you know, when women are at home, they dress comfortably in any clothes that of course show their hair and what not.. So the idea of a window that opens sideways or a balcony would obviously reveal what shouldn’t be revealed.. So here comes the mashrabeyah.. I’ve never touched one of those before.. But always wanted to..
May Allah cover us with His grace, protection & blessings.. Amen.
Cover our faults ya Rbbi.. Ya Sater.. Ostorna..
PS. I hate it when people are all around at the airport & stare at other people hugging, crying & so forth.. So irritating!!
Mind your own bees wax people.. :(

Friday, January 19, 2007


My li'l pudding has a li'l bloggy now!!
Time flies!!

You got it!

"…and in cyberspace, reading all your fascinating blogs, all your thoughts and dreams, all your ideas and memoirs, I have the feeling that I know all of you, from a long time ago, and I am not sure if it is real or not, I had the impression that the beautiful life I was searching for does exist, but inside everyone’s computer, we do share our stories together, we found a common ground for living, we all know what is wrong and what is right, but we do not live it , we do not live our real life, is it the power of a savage society, when I read the mails I receive from all of you, I feel relieved , because you see that there is still hope ,and that there are a lot of good people out there, but where are they in real life, in mails I discovered that there are people that understand what I feel , although they haven’t seen me in their lives, and maybe live thousand miles away , but they are me , they know what is inside me more than my family members do , they are the ideal community if brought together, so why don’t you show yourself to the public , why do we keep it inside ourselves , I traveled to many countries and I have never seen a community like us , we are perfect in listing the faults and disadvantages in our lives, a top-notch criticizer , in every aspect, all the day we talk about the little tiny problems we have , and we know the solutions , but we do not take a single step in solving our problems, or in changing our behavior , is this the sarcastic irony of this era ,so many wonderful people blogging in Egypt and suggesting extraordinary ideas to improve the nowadays condition , yet you don’t see them in your daily life , even if you make a gathering of all bloggers and enlightened people in this country , no one could show it the way he or she does in his or her blog, it is so easy to write I hate my boss but it is so difficult to say it face to face , why can’t we live the life we want in the real life, why are we stuck in this dream world and don’t realize our ambitious goals and hopes, are we afraid of each other, to show what is inside ourselves, not knowing if it is going to be accepted and respected from the other members of the society , is it laziness to be friendly to your fellow citizen and to believe that you have to be the start of this improvement, can we really do what we want to do or are we led by something we don’t know, do we need a short break of life to understand the reality of life , you know sometimes I wish I could start my life again , to write my story in a book of white empty pages , but I know I am living this life , in this century , in this land , with these people , and these circumstances , and nothing can bring me out of it but death, so…"

How do you write women so well?

Mo'men said:
I said:
"It's like the way I drive.. I notice that usually I tend to drive next to the left margine, not in control enough to be in the middle.. Not about control really, about leaning.. We have to lean.. It's nature.. Men are there to dive & lead through this maze we live in.."
"How do you write women so well?"
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.."
; )

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Ragin Raven

"Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore.
You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention."
Brother Raven, we're in Good Hands..
Trials and tribulations
Nomatter what happens
Always remember
In the end we all in good hands
Im talking bout years
Fullgrown tears
loosing ur self in the spotlight and fears
Young and restless he dont care
Doesnt listen to the fam
But with his peers he all ears
Walking from one shaking floor to another
He out the window suddenly
The wind blows
His face shows
For a second hesitation
Then of he go
Yesterday is gone and its tale has been told
Today new seeds are growing to be old
Like flowin.. water, why oh why oh why oh why oh why
Do fathers have to cry though in good hands we know we are?
Oh why?
Good good hands
Dont you know my friend
Good good hands
We just leave each day behind
Free from sadness, free of strife
Good good hands
Believe me, it aint really worth it
We all do mistakes man
Aint nobody perfect
Remember u in my du´a, down goes my forehead
Everytime I swear I luv u like my own fam..
Don´t let them get to ya
It´s just a phase u going through
Screamin.. out on the top of your lungs, aint nuttin shameful
Whatever happens, man, happens for a reason, man
The hardest war to win is against ya self
Not your own fam..

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

(4 new messages)

Since yesterday, I couldn't lay eyes on my inbox..
How annoying is that?!
It's eating my heart out.. Why?
Well, 'cuz of a million reasons!
1) I have to know what those messages are having for me..
2) Reply to those messages.
3) I have to send Ara an e-mail telling her that her box reached, but I have to go pick it up from the post office.. & Thank her even though I don't know what's in it yet.. & I'm dying to know that one too :(
4) Type the center in the U.K. an e-mail asking them why didn't the money get transfered to my bank account yet?!
5) Write bro an e-mail reminding him of something we used to watch together loooong time ago, that I found on TV. yesterday.. And also asking him about his new job & telling him that I hope it doesn't distract him from his studies..
6) Write mama another looooove 'e-mail' & tell her how much I miss her..
7) Write sis an e-mail telling her how much I liked Jannah..
8) And know if Judy Abbot replied in one of those 4 or not?
9) Check the 4 new messages.. Does that count.. Okay okay.. I know I know, I'm just trying to finish the million resons.. FINE, they're not million, but I'm going nuts!!
Please open!!
Enough sara..
Patience is a virtue..
Nothing happens before it's time..

Sunday, January 14, 2007

~ Suave Mente ~

Now I can have suave mente..
Mama's results came out quite fine, & wiped all my terrible thoughts off..
It turned out to be some sorta dryness between two vertebras in her backbone.. She needs not to carry anything heavy & to stay up right..
Seriously, when she's not okay, my mente is never suave..
(: Thanks for all the sincere prayers :)
(: Alhamdulellah :)
PS. My real joy now will be as soon as I get in her arms, God be willing.. Pray she reaches safely..

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Does it tell it all?!

(; Looooooooooooong time ;)
So, how is life treating you?
Or was is it you treating it?
Hope you're fine..
As fine as God wants you to..
Luv ya


A bit about carf...
Hometown: Bergen, Norway
Occupation: Social Entrepreneur
Interests: Street Children, Children At Risk, Child Labour, Child Abuse - Neglect and Exploitation, Children in Armed Conflict, Kids, Child Rights, Human Rights, Homelessness, Poverty, Communities, Multi-cultural relationships, Capoeira, Social Entrepreneurship, Youth Entrepreneurship, Social Development, Environment, Ecology, Peace, Non-Violence, Arts, Culture, Design, Aesthetics, Past, Present, Future..

Friday, January 12, 2007


~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~
~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~~
~ ~ ~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~~
LO'LO' &

Cultivate your hunger before you idealize.
Motivate your anger to make them all realize.
Climbing the mountain, never coming down.
Break into the contents, never falling down.
My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve,
Sneaking out of the classroom, by the back door.
A man railed at me twice though, but I didn't care.
Waiting is wasting for people like me.
Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.
You say, "Dreams are dreams.
"I ain't gonna play the fool anymore."
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul."
Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down.
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom.
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing, shadows of nothing.
You still are blind, if you see a winding road,
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see.
Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

~Wind by Akeboshi~
PS.It's the first time for me to know that the title means "to wind", not wind (movement of air).
& people, don't get me wrong, I'm soooooo NOT a naruto person, it's them, my siblings..

~ Prashant Varshney ~

Today I read one of the most beautiful words ever..
Prashant Varshney said:
"A drop has no meaning when it is in the sea but how beautiful it looks when it condensees and become a dew on rose leaf.... Gives a feeling of its importance a completeness.."
How true!
(picture's source)
I'd like to dedicate "our lives" to him & to all the peaceful souls out there looking for answers:

When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life
In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe that
There's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here
Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
See the truth all around
~~Our Lives Lyrics by The Calling~~

To all my moros out there..

Donde quiera que me encuentre
Donde quiera que yo vaya
Ese es mi hogar esa es mi casa
Soy como una pluma
Que es llevada por el viento
Libre como el aire, sin fronteras
Soy como el universo
Pirata sin modales
dueno de tus mares
tu amor yo me he robado
y sola has quedadono soy dig
no de tus lagrimas
no llores tus dolores me los llevo
estas en mis recuerdos
no me justifico
y te pido mil disculpas
si pudiera cambiaria
pero esta es mi conducta
si algun dia yo me asento
seria a tu lado dormiria sosegado en tus brazos
por ahora te digo adios algun dia nos veremos
no guardes el rencor y si los bellos besos
porque a veces la vida es loca (loca loca)
a veces ganas unas
a veces pierdes otras

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Breaking my fast :)

One can taste the sweetness of faith, if he is characterized with the following:
*If he holds Allah and His Messenger dearer than all else.
*When he loves a person he loves him only for the sake of Allah.
*If he has as great an abhorrence of returning to unbelief after Allah has rescued him from it as he has of being cast into fire.

InshaAllah on breaking my fast I'll ask Allah to be of the ones who taste the sweetness of faith..
Especially when it's made by Merry :)
And by the way, there is a beautiful prayer muslims make upon breaking their fast..
Here goes:
"The thirst has gone and the veins are quenched, and reward is confirmed, if Allah wills."
Isn't it beautiful!!
May Allah accept our good deeds, & grant us true sincerity.. Amen.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Mama & MRI..

(MRI) Magnetic Resonance Imaging Of The Brain And Spinal Cord.
That's what they asked mama to do almost two months ago, over here, to find out what her problem is.. And when the time came for the test, she simply COULDN'T!!
~"Why mama?"
~"Well, I couldn't stay in that tube for 30 minutes, I tried twice; but it's like getting into a grave hole sara.."
However, today in some magical way, praise the Lord, she did it.. Miles & miles away from me.. In Cairo, in Egypt, in Africa.. In another different continent.. See the torture I'm in!!
Hope the results come out fine.. Amen.
Please pray for my mama, she's all that is beautiful & real in my existence..
Pray for her.. Please..

PS. I wonder, what are we gonna do down there?! & what our results will look like? InshaAllah great ones.. Amen.

Why 9 Olivias? 'cuz boys make a lotta noise when they eat & make ugly monster faces ;)

BIG people BIG news

Olivia dear, what's so good about BIG people, or their sad news?! Trust me, you don't wanna get there.. I wish I would have never grown 'taller' or 'older'.. Wish I would have died young, not to be asked for it all.. But I'm afraid; that's not the case..
Oh Allah, please forgive me for all of the bad that I've done, and I continue to do. You are so Merciful and Kind, please forgive me, and help me stay away from all that's wrong. It's so hard for me, and I'm so weak but You are the Strong. Please increase me in sincerity.
Ya Allah, let me love You as You deserved to be loved, and let me fear You as You deserve to be feared, and let me leave this world serving Your creation for Your sake.
Oh Allah, give me the ability to forgive all those who have hurt me in word and deed & please Oh Allah, join our hearts.
Oh Allah, cleanse my heart of the sicknesses of arrogance and pride and let me die as one of the sincere, humble Muslims.
Oh Allah, I have been so impatient and angry in my behaviour, please give me patience and help me control my anger for Your sake.
Oh Allah, open a way for me to make Hajj as soon as possible, so that I can fulfil my obligation to You.
Oh Allah, lift the veils from the eyes of those who have been deceived into seeing Islam as something bad.

Monday, January 08, 2007

My husband -- Qais ;)

Pudding is my li'l 11 year old bro..
His name is AbduAllah, & he's my li'l pudding :)
Anyways, A couple of weeks ago he came up to me with this li'l piece of paper you see right at the top..
He's imagined that my future husband would look like this & his name would more likely be Qais!!
How creative ;)

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Inner comforT

You spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
For the break that will make it okay
There's always some reason
to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my vein
Let me be empty oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
~ Sarah Mclachlan ~
And I found it there.. It was so serene.. Accept it ya Allah.. How beautiful it was.. Please grant me your ra'hma (mercy).. Please.. Ya Allah.. Your ferdous.. Where there is no place for bad whispers.. Ya Noor..
Everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
But the storm keeps on twisting,
you keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
You don't make no difference,
escape one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness,
oh this glorious sadness
That brings me onto my knees
~ Sarah Mclachlan ~
..Oh Light Of The Heavens & The Earth..

Mariah Carey

Well, I had a dream of her, standing on the side, behind a table or something, & me hugging her for almost a minute, thinking of how to present Islam to her..
Mama was right behind me.. However, I couldn't let go of Mariah for some reason..
That was about IT!!
May Allah guide her and us all.. And cover all women with veils that protect them from themseleves, satan & all evil.. Amen.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

"Allah guía a quien quiere"

"35. Di una lección aprendida en 2006:
"Allah guía a quien quiere"."

How true?!
Praise the Lord..

(picture's source)
Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming
Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

~ Lyrics to Nelly Furtado ~
PS. It's not like I'm encouraging listening to the song or watching it.. Just sharing the lyrics..

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


Sheeeeesh is this thing you find in Egypt.. This thing you see on the pic right here>>>>>> >>>>>>
I even remembering washing it.. And after that a cool clean breeze always comes :)
Masr.. I dunno how is egypt related to masr, i mean most countries have arabic/english names that are somehow related.. Besides, how old is the term masr, or was it misr? And how old is the term egypt? Where does it come from?

All I know is that daddy (habeby, dahry), mama (ottet elme'atateeen) & lulu (sis, oooooh sis) are there right now, and I'm missing them painfully..
May Allah save them and us all from all evil.. Amen.

Monday, January 01, 2007

a MiRrOrEd ReFlEcTiOn!

Well, I know I know, this IS funny, but I really am wondering what’s the scientific fact behind it.. REALLY!!
Here goes:
Have you ever noticed that other people, other than you, look different in the mirror than the way they look in real life?!?!?!?!?!
Don’t give me that look, I’m quiet serious.. I’VE NOTICED IT EVERSINCE I WAS this small!!
Dunno really, it’s something about their

(picture's source)
face not being, not being.. umm, dunno.. not being real I guess!!
It’s pretty weird, & I always wanted to know!!

PS. I dunno if we (ourselves) look different in the mirror than real life.. However, it doesn’t really matter to me; as I see myself in mama’s eyes.. Love you mom.. Love you more than me.. May Allah grant me the blessing of your presence until my last heartbeat.. Amen.