Monday, November 12, 2007

~ chastity ~

(picture's source)

Here’s one thing I wish I could shout out to the world, “world, say cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!”.. There, I said it! People: when your eyes meet with one another, just remember to SAY CHEESE.. It won’t harm you in any way whatsoever.. Trust me, it won’t!

I don’t get it.. When guys see me, they smile.. But when “the ladies” see me, what, they get lazy to do it?! Come on now, what’s that all about? Passing a smile won’t charge you much, will it? Or does it have to be from the other gender for you to smile?!?!?!?!

I also did this li’l experiment to test people’s “thank you”.. And it turns out to be the exact same! Like when a GUY asks me something & I answer, they directly thank me.. But when a lady asks something & I as well answer (even sweeter than the way I answered the guy) she nods & leaves!

Ladieeeeeeeeeeeees? What’s the matter? Is it me? Am I missing something here?

The last time I gave the world a loud cheese was when…… Okay, this was fu nnyyyyyyyyy :D Let me start by asking you this, do you know HOW the freshest products you find at the supermarket get to the very back of the shelves? We all know WHY, but we usually don’t know HOW.. Why? Definitely to let people take the stuff displayed in front of them & finish them off first & keep the recently produced stuff at the back to stay longer (but of course as an arab/egyptian, I do what I saw my parents do.. Which is reach all the way to the baaaaaaaaack of the shelf & grab the furthest item my hand could reach, of course while having that “I’m so smart, I’m smarter than everyone else” look..) ..Well, I constantly thought to myself, how can they always succeed in putting all those fresh goods at the very back? Do they take all the stuff (like milk for instance) off the shelves, put the freshest at the back, then return the least fresh stuff at the front? Well, I found out the answer, but through a terrifying incident :D But of course ended up with one of those big fat cheeses of mine ;) Well, I was at this store heading to the fridge.. I opened it & I was (acting smart, like I learned from my folks) stretching my arm to reach for the last bottle of laban (this salty milk) on the row & all of a sudden.. All of a sudden I see this human being moving right behind the shelves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I freaked out & said “Bismilllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah” so loud & jumped back.. Everyone at the store laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughed their lungs out & thought that I just freaked out like that.. So my friend came close & said “what’s wrong?”.. With one hand on my heart & the other pointing to the fridge, she got the shock too.. hahaha.. Then I learned, that those fridges & shelves have a rolling back; as to help the workers loading them, to load them from the back with the freshest stuff.. LOL :)

I love it when I discover li’l big things that people don’t even take the time to notice or wonder about (is it that I’m trying to feel special? am I that desperate? LOL).. And one of those things, is studying that man watering the plants in offices & observing his attitude.. Well, I’ve noticed & studied him for quiet some time now.. I’m sad to mention that he HATES what he’s doing! He hates those plants.. The worst part is, if he never shows up, no one would even notice the plants dying of thirst! I’m so sure of that! So I don’t understand who’s faking things here, companies buying the plants? Or hiring a man to water them? Or the man doing what he hates?All I’m sure of, is that those plants can't be the cause of this fake scene.. No one even looks at those abandoned plants! I’m sure they’d love to be out there, enjoying their “natural” environment.. I wish I could do anything about this.. Wish I could set a meeting to discuss the bitter insensitivity flowing around through fake streams of coldness that’s almost freezing out everything beautiful & real..

One more li’l big thing I notice & extremely despise.. You know how married couples are like at the beginning of their marriage? See that picture at the top, it’s almost how each & every couple starts.. Flowers, gifts & all the so vanilla sweet tones of life.. Shortly comes the “So what? who cares?” attitude.. Now I wanna talk about one small act that proves that.. I noticed that in hospitals (where “serious” stuff occur), parks (where fun is found), beaches or anywhere else, husbands lead the way while walking, carrying almost nothing (none of their belongings like their children’s bags or whatever) & wives at the back with a kid in one hand, a bunch of bags in the other & so forth.. This scene is very common here in the arab world.. It really breaks my heart seeing men thinking that this is “manhood”.. It’s so not.. Let me add one more tiny detail (for muhajabas) if I may.. Well, as now the weather is changing & it’s getting windy, I hate walking in this weather ‘cuz of one reason: clothes I wear find their way to STICK to me.. It’s so uncomfortable walking while your clothes are sticking to you; bringing out your detailed form.. At least for muhajabas.. It just feels bad & embarrassing.. Yet “husbands” on the other hand don’t notice this at all! They carry on leading the way & walking ahead of their wives! (they could simply walk close by behind their wives; as to cover them from the back or whatever).. I wish these tiny things could be explained to all men.. The thing is, it’s hard.. There are things that just can’t be explained.. You have to feel them yourself.. You can’t MAKE people feel them..

I’d like to wrap this up with some breaking news ;) .. Pudding bought this amazingly sweet smelling perfume called chastity.. The name goes with the scent somehow! Just phenomenal! It just smells like dunhill desire.. Don’t ask me how!

Tell the believing men that they shall subdue their eyes (and not stare at the women), and to maintain their chastity. This is purer for them. GOD is fully Cognizant of everything they do. And tell the believing women to subdue their eyes, and maintain their chastity. They shall not reveal any parts of their bodies, except that which is necessary. They shall cover their chests, and shall not relax this code in the presence of other than their husbands, their fathers, the fathers of their husbands, their sons, the sons of their husbands, their brothers, the sons of their brothers, the sons of their sisters, other women, the male servants or employees whose sexual drive has been nullified, or the children who have not reached puberty. They shall not strike their feet when they walk in order to shake and reveal certain details of their bodies. All of you shall repent to GOD, O you believers, that you may succeed.

~ Qur’an [24:30-31] ~


Anonymous said...

A man has to be a MAN in a real sense and act like one. Men who respect, feel responsible, cherish and love their females and feel protective towards them will take care of them. Man has to feel that she is his alone. He has to be possesive about her. Man has to remember that they are created of his ribs. He has to feel that she is part of his. Two bodies,one mind. A man has to understand that she is created weak than him in physical strength. As such, Allah has made men responsible of women. Its man's duty to protect the women. She is given to you in trust by her father to be taken care of. And you got to keep it.

I have tried to put feelings in words but surely haven't done justice.

Man does not want daughter(s) of his own but always wants daughter of someone else.

He also wants his daughter to be taken care of but fails in his duties towards his wife whilest she is a daughter of someone.

Its your blog. Write about other things in general. Some of your writing ticks me off and makes me write like the other day about driving.
By the way, I do like yellow lights.
The white light somehow take away the night from my night. The worst part is, it hurts the eyes.

sara said...

Frist fo all, well said.. MashaAllah :) I can never imagine myself that good with words.. I wish.. :)

Secondly, I'm sorry if my writing ticks you off.. It's me & how I feel.. And you're welcome to share your thoughts respectfully :)

with respect,

PS is this you mr. S?
Reading this: "Man does not want daughter(s) of his own but always wants daughter of someone else." reminded me of mr. S..Is it you?

sara said...

By the way, white lights hurt my eyes too!

Anonymous said...

Salaam Sara :),

I liked your post very much and thank you so much for the verses from Qu'ran.
I hope you're doing fine.How is that plant?You know,I have a this plant in the kitchen.It's an old one,given to me by my ex boyfriend.This plant had some hard time of her own.There were periods where I thought,she'll die.Anyway,that's not the case,becouse in the last months she really got beautiful and bigger.I thought to myself:"Well,she shows that the old love story is over and now new times are here.I hope he's doing fine as well.In the end all that remains,are just good and sweet memories."
Take care Sara :)!

Maryam said...

I agree with you about the husband thing.

I dont seem to understand their state of mind, but i find it very annoying .... Carrying nothing and moving as if they are the king of the world ....... !!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I think they behave the way you described because they basically do not respect her in all senses.

In addition to the yesterday,

I hate the men who let their wifes carry bags, children, etc as you have described and more.
Feel like asking them that
1) is she not your wife who has been taking care of your house,
2) Is she not who cooks for you and serves fresh food minimum 3 times a day.
3) Is she not who has carried each one of your children for 9 months and takes care of them and you 24 hours a day
4) Most probably, is it not you who has asked her to work and bring money in addition to the rest of the work she does at home.

Why can you not share the burdan equally if not fully.

The woman should be treated much better like a queen may be.Thats the least a man can do for a wife.
Mind you, its two way traffic.

On the other side, is it not her fault to let the man treat her like that or is it that she likes it the way he treats her. She has a God given right to treat her well.

Both parties will have to be concious of their rights and duties towards each other.

I think its your issue that you do not like the way of treatment as you have described.
Bottom line is it is a personal issue of the couple. However, as a Muslim, we have duty towards the community.
As the Prophet said when you see something wrong, stop it with your hands. If you can't then by your tongue and if its not possible then feel bad about it in your heart and thats the least of faith.

Well, you can write much better. Just write (what you feel (you said once that you have to feel it) ) from the heart with full of conviction and full of passion and I believe the words will follow. In all honesty, its simple !!!
Write as if you are talking to someone who is close to you, who understands you how you feel.

"Ticking off" is a wrong word.I am sorry, used a wrong word. What I mean is, you sometimes write about things which have bothered me in the past and they still do from time to time. And then its kind of breaking loose, its kind of lid taken off, its like hurting afresh, emotions pour out.
It is understood that its you and its what you feel.
If I was or am not respectful then please do say so. if you do not want me to write, please say so. In fact, after writing I felt I should not be writing but live and let live. Its your space. Some how felt like I am using your space.

I read what you write sometimes specially when I am under pressure and need a distraction.
With that, I must get back to my predictament.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 2:
hi, nice post, so very true, but more than that I just loved what anonymous wrote , he/she is too good with words, I must say , it is just amazing, its excellent, reminds me of a very good online friend, I had once upon a time.

poetic muslim said...

salams , thats because men love woman when a woman smiles she gets the wrong idea ! thats just life

love you loads hun , hope your feeling better txt me yeah babe s?

sara said...

The plants are just fine.. And I so totally know what you mean by "those" memories.. I love it when people exchange "living" gifts with eacother.. I just LOVE it :)
Thanks for sharing :)

You can say that again :(

Thanks for your words.. I totally agree with everything you said.. Just lovely.. That's exactly the way I see things.. And please carry on sharing your thoughts, they are respectfully written.. I just meant to say earlier that any respectful comments are sooooooooo welcomed.. Thanks again for taking time to share your view.. Wish everyone thinks this way..

anonymous 2,
Well, it might be your good old friend, who knows :)

poetic muslim,
thanks for checking on me, I hope to feel better :) luv u..

MASS said...

Smiling to a sister is the last thing i wanna do. Sisters just posses more fitna. its even more ackward to work in group projects with sisters (hijabis in black) than with a girl half naked..

you should probably display a bold face, then they wont smile at you,

unlike what i like to refer to as the amr khaled culture where smiles between opposite genders are almost encouraged!

funny about the butter milk thing, coz thats what my parrents used to do, and thats what i do now.

as for the wind thing. that gets on my nervces! as a an Arab raised in the gulf, of Arab tribal descent, and as well sa3eedi, then thats like a killer..

a man who makes his wife carry stuff... thats nasty, but maybe they weren heavy ?

ahhhh.. really if it wasnt for your sufic mystic orientations i would consider tracking you down and perhaps giving your pops a phone call!

sara said...


Who said I smile to men? Who said that I hold some "sufic mystic orientations"??!! I pushed away 'those' ppl off my life; as I'm not ready for any delusions..

InshaAllah I'm on the straight sunnah..

Wish us all truth.. Amen.

MASS said...

I dont know who said you smile to men ? why you asking me, certinaly its not me! wallahi didnt thought ill of you..

so im guessing yr not a fan of
7ameem keller, nor Hamza Yusuf, nor Ali the jafrite? least not anymore..

alhamdullelah althi 3afaki.

perhaps thats why yr not agressive like you used to be on my blog, bashing me here and there !

MASS said...

oh yeah mysticism is still on your profile

sara said...

Well, sorry for attacking you ever, definately not intended!

Allahumma ihdeena ajma'eeeeeeeeeeeen.. Amen.

Mysticism is still there.. but meant in a different form..

That was a long road to go.. And still is.. May Allah protect & guide me.. & us all.. Amen.

Thanks anyways..

sara said...

Been thinking of taking it off.. Shall I? Like in the sense of not mixing things up?

sara said...


I mean it like in being transparent.. Know what I mean? Better take it off? Or leave it with my inner (different than the 'common known sufism') intention, that God knows?

MASS said...

yeah take it off.. tazkiya is enough

sara said...



MASS said...


from zakaa

qad 2afla7a man zakaha, wa qad khaba man dasaha

leyazkeehim, wa yu3alimuhm al kitaba wal 7ikma

to purify

so sufism is better called tazkiya or also known as 3ilm al 2i7san as ibn rajab al hanbali referd to it.

sara said...

Yes tazkiya.. I love that word.. But still, sakeena is my favourite!


Well, since we've opened this up, I'd like to mention that I searched & searched.. And the best reply that got to my heart was written to me by a brother who's always in my prayers.. I pray he would be a reason for others to see, just like he was to me.. I can't & won't say much on this subject; as my knowledge is very limited.. I'll just paste his words..

"first of all: "Those who strive for Us, we will certainly guide in OurWAYS; God is with the doers of good" [29:69].... notice the plural pray to God that he guide you to one of his the ways acceptable toHim. second: Hamza Yusuf, Zaytuna Institiute, Imam Ghazzali, Nuh Keller areall Sunni Sufis.Ibn al Qayyim al Jawzeyah is also a sunni hanbali sufi. Imam Nawawi wasi think was a sunni sufi of the shafi'i madhab. personally, i became very interested in sufism, read a ton of books onsufism, and then for a short time became shi'i. then i came back tosunnism and became stricter than ever. I have found certain sufi shaykhswho are very very strict about following the sunna and not deviating aninch from the way laid down by our Prophet, like Shams Tabrizi (who,contrary to popular myth and legend, is the most strict sufi i have everread about..) but the book of his sayings, "Me & Rumi", is really reallyadvanced and you wouldnt understand 1/5th of it unless you read tens andtens of books on sufism and philosophy and tafsir and stuff. so iwouldnt read it... but Kabir Helminski from is working onanother translation of some of his sayings that will probably be easier. The best best book is definitly called The Path of Muhammad, translatedby shaikh Tosun Bayrak. It was written by a sufi who, like ShamsTabrizi, calls for a return to the purest islam imagineable.. evencriticizes any sufi practice that was not done by the Prophet. It isbasically a book about how to live everyday life, with quran and hadithabout everything you could imagine. i truly believe anyone who uses thatbook can perfect his character, like the prophet said " i came toperfect human character". the book shows you how islam demands the mostperfect standards of ethics and morality imagineable, to create the mostperfect humans imagineable. basically, just be a sunni.. read some sufism, but be wary of anythingthat doesnt seem to conform with the way of the prophet. As for the fourmadhabs, it doesnt matter which one you follow.. following them is onlybecause you dont feel you have enough knowledge about hadith and quranto make your own judgments... but you are not allowed to think that youHAVE to follow them. if you think that you HAVE to follow a certainmadhab and that you cant take certain things from different madhabs thenyou are guilty of putting another book beside the quran and hadith andof putting a scholar above the quran. Even imam abu hanifa said peopleare not allowed to follow his rulings unless they understand exactly thelogic and the quranic proof he used to reach each ruling, otherwise theywill be putting another book as an authority beside the quran. imammalik was also crying the night before he died and said he wished henever created his laws, because he feared that he added laws other thanthe laws of the quran and the sunna.. therefore you cannot think of what any of the 4 imams as laws. you canfollow them, but think of them as advice, not laws. personally i prefernot to follow a madhab and use my own ijtihad. this is what isrecommended by ibn qayyim al jawziyyah and many of islam's greatestscholars. In any case, dont sweat it... take it easy.. If you want toread more about this, i truly recommend "This Law of Ours" by MuhammadAsad. Great great book about the sharia and the madhabs and the originalspirit of Islam as practiced by the prophet's companions and thefollowing generations. and remember, stay away from wahhabis, the prophet said nothing willcome from Najd (the birthplace of wahhabism) than earthquakes, fitna,and the horn of shaytan. as for outer/inward sciences: you have to have a good balance of both.but dont go reading any books on spirituality if you dont do your fivedaily prayers. p.s. please tell me what's the name of the ibn al qayyim's jawziyyahbook that you said was amazing. i would love to get it. oh and I just remembered!! I have an amazon "listmania!" called"Following Muhammad (pbuh)"... In it i talk about all the books that Ithink guide to exact following of the prophet, and I begin it withrecommending as many biographies of the prophet as possible.. i tihnkeveryoe has to really read the biography of the prophet and understandit well, more than one, and more than once.. so that everyone can trulyunderstand the mentality of the prophet (pbuh) and learn to think likehim, and it will help you make proper decisions in your life. Just dontget the first one on the list its way too long. I hope this link will work for you."

"i saw many "sects" that i cantpossibly conceive how they would go to hell... for example, we havesunnis, we have zaydi shias in yemen, we have many sects that are nowextinct that had nothing heretical about them. there is soooo muchdiversity now in the muslim world and in many cases its hard to see themgoing to hell.. afterall the quran repeats a verse TWICE that theChristians, the Jews, the Sabeans, all those who believe in God and thelast day and do good deeds shall not fear or grieve. and there are manyquranic ayats saying that there are good communities among the ahlulkitab who are considered among the righteous. so how is it that thoseppl will be saved but not all of those different muslim sects, many ofwhom have nothing wrong with them (that is not to say that there arentmany heretical muslim sects). so stick to the holy Quran which says "We shall guide you to Our WAYS".thus it is possible to have more than one way to Allah (swt). if you need to study, then study. dont be afraid.. keep praying andinshalla God will keep you on the straight path if you strive, for Goddoes not break his promises. I recommended some readings but you donthave to read any of them. I hope my efforts are a sadaqa jariyah. i dontsee how they could be a bad deed... one thing the prophet told us is toalways think well of our Muslim brothers and sisters and to think thatthey have pure intentions. and al a3maalu bil niyyat, so Allah knowsthat this is just my sincere effort to help you, and if i happen to bewrong then I hope Allah will judge me by my intentions. I dont see however how i could be wrong by telling you to read as manybiographies of the prophet as possible or "the path of muhammad" whichis a book of hadiths and ayaat on islamic morals and ethics... it's justmy advice to follow the prophet as closely as possible. And remember that Islam is pure and simple. dont over complicate things.It is by complicating things that people go astray. Shams Tabrizi quotes this hadith: A Bedouin came to the Prophet and said, "Tell me of such a deed as willmake me enter Paradise if I do it." The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "WorshipAllah, and worship none along with Him, offer the (five) prescribedcompulsory prayers perfectly, pay the compulsory Zakat, and fast themonth of Ramadan." The Bedouin said, "By Him, in Whose Hands is my life,I will not do more than this." When he (the Bedouin) left, the Prophetsaid, "Whoever likes to see a man of Paradise, then he may look at thisman."-Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 23, Number 480 then Shams continued: that is the simply and pure following of Muhammad.but people wanted to overcomplicate things and to add and add until theyleft following of the prophet. if you look at the biographies of the companions, and the hadiths of theprophet.. they never get into complicated discussions about aqeeda, orabout the essence of God, or freewill... in Bukhari, the prophet warnsnever to discuss the essence of God or too many questions about what Godis like and to simply say "a3oodhu billahi minash shaytan ar-rajeem"when ppl keep discussing this, for they are tricks by the devil to leadppl astray. one time the prophet came upon people discussing free willvs destiny and got so angry that his face went red and he said "is thiswhy I was sent to you"? no, the prophet was sent to tell us to believe in one God, to submit tothis God, to say the shahadah.. and to do good deeds.. "Whoever believesin God and the last day and does good deeds shall have no fear nor shallthey grieve"... this verse is repeated twice like i said. that's all you need. no need to be confused or scared or anything. again, if you read the Quran and Seera, you can make your own ijtihadsabout simple decisions in life in accordance with the spirit of Islam.There are quranic ayats and events from the sira (which i will tell youabout if you're interested) which prove that ijtihad like this is theway of the salaf. however if there is something really complicated likea matter of law or money or whatever, then just pick one of the 4madhabs and follow its founder as security because they know more thanyou.. as long as you dont think of what they say as laws beside the lawsof God. and be careful about hanbalites because most of them dontactually follow the true teachings of imam ibn hanbal, so i would pickone of the other three just in case (of course imam ibn hanbal himselfwas great, but it is sad that his followers have deviated from what hesaid so much)."

MASS said...

Hamza Yusuf, and even more Keller (which i doubt he is muslim to start with) are certinaly of the most misguided people i have ever come across whom refer to themselves as ahl asunnah wal jama3a.

to common sense who supports ibn
3arabi may Allah curse him. and rumi are really off the hook. it doesnt take much to realise that, its just fitra

ibn 3arabi who was proununced kafir my more than 70 scholars of his times whom were against ibn taymiyah! (so that no one claims its an issue of athari hanbalities)

who said that fir3awn was not kaffir
and that he saw Allah has a young blonde child sitting on a thrown. who says that noah's arc was litterally in the eye of Allah.
that he is the final wali!!
among other insanities

tell anyone on the street what this guy says, and ask him is this guy muslim? ....

Subhan Allah..

nuh keller loves this ibn 3arabi , i know of a new convert whom alsmost left islam coz if going to a majlis of keller, headbanging ya latif a 1000 times,

all this tareqa sufism, and saying useless stuff among athkar haa meem so many times and other obligations of the tareeqa is one big farce.

certinaly that bro's understanding of math-ahib is as skewed as most salafis have, "i follow my own ijtihad" ya3ni you can pick and choose from what scholars have to say...

did you he read the 2 sa7ee7 and all the sunnan so that he can follow his own "itjtihad" does he even have usool by which he derives 2a7kam, walla el 3amaleya kullha 3ak!

all the ummah's scholars learned through math-ahib. you dont have to follow one. but if you dont then you have to be asking a scholar you trust. but if you will learn deen then you must follow one for education, and you can refer back to risalat ibn rajab al hanbali. "wujoob itiba3 al ma-thahib al arba3a"

when the 4 imams were saying dont follow my opinions and take from its sources they were telling their major students, not telling the public! so its like Imam Abu haneefah telling Muhammad ibn Yusuf

yet the mah-hib issues are not as important as the ones before

moving from one extreme to another is obviously coz the bro was wondering about by himself. and perhaps never really understood the fundamentals of deriving the truth from all these groups..

Quran and Sunnah by understanding of salaf.

na3uthu bellah min al khuthlan.
wa Allah al musta3an

sara said...

I can't thank you enough for your time & effort that you took to share those beliefs..

Thank you! And may Allah reward you as good as your intentions are.. Amen.

As for moi, I mentioned earlier that I'm not knowledgable enough to tell or judge the above mentioned shoyookh.. Everyone will be asked on whatever they say, so I fear being unjust..

So I'll just end my words here with a prayer to Allah, asking Him The Most Merciful & Most Knowledgable to guide all thirsty souls.. And may He keep all fitan away.. Amen.

Tahnk you again mass!

With respect,

MASS said...

correction typo

"he saw Allah as a young blonde child sitting on a thrown."


"he saw Allah has a young blonde child sitting on a thrown."

Anonymous said...

What a wealth of knowledge !

I like to keep it simple.
Allah has sent down the Quran. The Prophet has acted on the every verse of the Quran.
He told us that he did notleave anything which will bring us closer to Allah except that he has commanded to do.
He also said that all of his followers will enter the Jannah except the one who disobeyed. whoever obeyed him will enter the Jannah and who didn't is the loser.
The Quran says whoever has obeyed the Prophet has obeyed Allah.

Its much simpler and clear.