Tuesday, November 06, 2007

~ free as a bird ~

(picture's source)

Am I that desperate to fly? Is it that I’m feeling so heavy that I figured out I can’t? Am I trapped? Well, I can't tell really.. Here’s why I’m wondering.. For MONTHS, I’ve been looking for a fairy’s custom to buy for my li’l amoona.. To be exact, I’ve been looking for a tutu, wings & a pair of ballerina shoes.. At last, my search came to an end last week.. And I found exactly what I wanted.. Thank God :) It was an amazing experience for me (more than her).. I almost flew with her.. Just wonderful.. And then came yesterday.. I spent all afternoon at the beach taking pictures, not of the sea, the shells, the sun, the sand, the sky, or the trees.. But of a flying human soul! My sister’s friend would run run run & then jump high trying to take a tick’s shape.. & right there & then I’d capture the moment.. We did this all the way until sunset.. It was fascinating.. It wiped my headache off.. Oh, my headache.. I’ve never really experienced the severe headaches that people suffer from (especially daddy.. poor him, he REALLY suffers..).. However, since a couple of days, I’ve been having this horrible awful headache that’s been giving me a very hard time.. I can’t describe it really.. You know how you cross your eyebrows? Or like raise them? Anyways, if you do any of this for a while, you get this horrible feeling of a heavy load being placed on your forehead.. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling! As if my eyebrows have been crossed/raised for a year! It started when I went in that cab.. Ok cabs.. I have this thing for cabs.. I HATE getting in a cab.. H A T E .. It’s one of the hardest things for me to do.. My headache can’t be ‘cuz of the cab I HAD to get in, can it? I swear I was very close to fainting.. On another level, I’m extremely against women riding in cabs.. I’ve argued enough about this & I’ve had enough.. It just ain’t right FOR ME.. UNLESS it’s URGENT, or it’s the ONLY WAY.. I don’t believe in women being in cabs with strange men ALONE! It provokes me.. I pity saudi arabia for not letting their women drive.. “It’s ok to go to school with a male driver, but you can’t drive”!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My pity for them is waaaaaaaay beyond my rage.. It’s pa the tic! Talking of double standards! Let’s go back to flying.. Isn’t it just the number one wish on man’s list of dreams? At least that’s my frequent dream.. Anyways.. I pray my headache would get lighter; ‘cuz I’m seriously going out of my mind!

Wake me up when it's over

Wake me up when it's done

Wake me up when the skies are clearing

When the water is still

'cause I will not watch the ships sail away so

Please say you will

If it were any other day

This wouldn't get the best of me

But today I'm not so strong

So lay me down with a sad song

And when it stops then you know I've been

Gone too long

But don't shake me awake

Don't bend me or I will break

Come find me somewhere between my dreams

With the sun on my face

I will still feel it later on

But for now I'd rather be asleep"

~ Norah Jones lyrics ~


MASS said...

InshaAllah you get better..

yet, you shouldnt pity people who dont pity themselves,, 500 saudi women, whom are journalists, doctors, and university professors, gave a peotion to the king against any approval of saudi women driving..

perhaps some western women pity you for your hijab.. but I assure you that many (including myself) believe that it is in the best interest of Saudi not to allow women to drive.

Gold said...

is it Saudi or Emirates?

Anyways, this type pf headache is called a Sinus Headache, courtsey of humidity and pollution, sometimes the heat does that too.. the sun.. Arabia's filled with the latter.. May you get better soon inshaAllah..

Flight is cool, i've always dreamed about flying, and still picture myself with powerful wings curled behind my back ready to expand whenever i want them to... stroke after stroke after stroke, some running on the ground, and i'm off.. overlooking things that need to be overlooked down below..

looking ahead to find nothing but air, hopefully fresh and clean.. etcetara etcetera.. to the rest of those beautiful inventions of a human mind..


sara said...

mass, well.. i still pity them, is that ok? I pity them for not even knowing that they AT LEAST should pity themselves!

And gold, I live in the emirates & we drive here.. I drive since the age of eighteen.. We're pretty cool here in this part of the world :)
I meant in saudi.. they dont allow their women to drive :(

And regarding my headache, I don't know really.. The weather is getting better already.. Not sure if that's it..

May Allah make it easy on all those suffering from any pains & make them means to wipe our sins away.. Amen.

sara said...

may we all fly in heaven :)

jahandost said...

The point about them not pitying themselves may not be a correct generalization. The socio-economic status of people also determines their opinion on this subject.

Flying, yes that has been a recurring human dream since time immemorial. May be you should learn gliding. :)

sara said...

Any one up for teaching me?

Small Blue Thing said...

Not for teaching, not at all _maybe suggesting :)

Not wahabi style here, but double-size morals are not exclusive for Saudis, Emiratis, muslims, non-muslims... We humans like to feel our ways are the best for everyone. And barely we remember that each human being needs his/her own path.

Of course, that Saudi nonsense about not-allowed-to-drive-but-allowed-to-work-outside-under-men-managers is... nonsense.

But the same nonsense is allowing the manager of Spanish Halal Institute _with her suit and skirt and female authority, to have a talk with the community in our little neighbourhood's mosque... but not praying there, sissies!

Maybe there's a lot of people who one day wished to fly... and still feel frustrated :DDDD

I so love your way of feel every second miracles... Make du'a for your small blue sister, for her imperfect salats, her here-and-there taqqiyahs, her doubts. Some day inshallah we'll walk together and pray for flying togheter at the end of the adventure :)

PST, lavender it's said to be good for synus headaches.

sara said...

oh dearest :)

"We humans like to feel our ways are the best for everyone." >> How so very true! GOD's WAY IS THE WAY :)

You're always in my du'as.. ALWAYS :)

You gotta promise me the same dearest.. You gotta pray for me to be the best of sara that I can be..

Hope the adventure ends up to be a successful one deary..

Love You Ara :)

sara without ara can't be ;)

PS. I'm seriously suffering dearest.. So much pain almost all the time :( Almost a week now.. Not sure it's a sinus headache.. I seriously gotta go & get a check up.. Alhamdulillah :)

Anonymous said...

People who live in the glass houses do not throw stones at others.

On the day of judgement, Allah will ask us about what we have done and shall /will not hold us accountable for deeds of others but only for ours.
We have not opened the hearts of people and seen how much of faith is in there.
We all, the bani Adam, makes mistakes all the time.
I do not understand why are we judging/ commenting on the behaviour of others. Each one is responsible for his / her deeds.
We do not know whats good and whats bad for us. Only Allah knows whats good for each one of us. He also wants good for us.Let us be thankful to Allah for our situation. Surely, we are in a better shape than many people around the world.
Worry/ feel pity about ourselves. Worry about whether we are on the correct / right path . Worry about are we on the Sunnah of the Prophet.
Nothing else is going to take us to the Heavens but holding on to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of Prophet.
I can go on but need to stop here and close it with a part of a Saheeh Hadith of the Prophet in which he promised heaven to any person who will guard what is between the jawbone.

Sorry about the outburst but had to say. I do mean well and no harm intended.
Its duty on us correct ourselves from time to time and wish the same for others what we wish for ourselves.

I sincerely hope, you get well soon.

sara said...

Totally agree..

Thanks for sharing those upright thoughts on how true faith should be..

However, I hope you didn't see me crossing any lines here? I never meant to judge nobody.. I'm "judging thoughts" that might seem right to others, but not for me..

And everyone gets asked on the big day.. May we all shine then.. Amen.

With respect,