I'll fly you balloons :')

Habeeby Diggo,
I'll fly you balloons :) I know it'd make you happy seeing kids happy, and kids love it when they see flying balloons, just like your li'l princeeeesa does :')
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Habeeby Diggo,
I didn't want to see your ta'eya (hat).. I didn't want to see your shawl.. I've been avoiding that since the day you've been gone! And moreover, I didn't want to smell them, but I did..

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And I felt lost! Lost in sorrow of old joy! It smelled exactly like you, sweet & super loving.. It smelt like holidays.. It smelt like fresh grass & a beach dance.. It smelt like you, the never-ending kindness of soul & heart..
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Habeeby Diggo,
I never understood why you liked it dim.. Why you loved the curtains down.. I never knew why would a bright spirit like yourself need darkness.. But just today, I think I found out the answer.. I think you saw it all coming.. You knew that out there isn't as warm as it is inside, so you wanted to keep your sincere self away from superficiality..
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Habeeby Diggo,
I wish you were here today! I want you to put the curtains down for me.. I need it dim for a while.. And could you come & whistle like you used to? I need to hear your whistle.. I didn't know all the old songs you loved whistling & humming to, but I'm sure if I hear them from you today, it'll feel like going back home.. Li'l pudding whistles just like you Diggo, can you believe that? He's older now, with this new tone in his voice.. I pray he'd grow to be as strong, tender & profound as you Diggo..
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I miss you so much Diggo & it hurts real bad :')

I'll close my eyes like li'l amoona taught me & see you :')

Diggo, I miss you, love you, need you & thank you for you :')

Diggo, you're THE MAN, do you know that? YOU'RE THE MAN! :')

Are you?

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"Are you gonna fly high?"

I've been doing some thinking on a couple of fears I've been experiencing for my "tomorrow", and I'll tell you what.. Best thing to do, in order to keep your flight on, is to not WHINE! I know it's easier said than done, but trust me, at least to keep on saying what you want to get done with, will eventually get you there, don't ya think?

Happy holidays!

Drop Like A Rock..

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Sometimes my heart sinks to the deepest of my soul,

& sometimes my fears are louder than any control..

When that happens I run faraway & close my eyes,

& try hard to not see what on the other side lies..

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So, the lights are out there now and decorations are filling every corner.. And sad hearts are all over the place.. Some don't even see the lights.. Some are too lonely to look out.. And I, I want to share this smart trick of mine that eventually breaks into the darkess.. Well, simply, in others' joy I find mine! If you try this, it might work for you like it does for me! Find others' joy & help it grow, or share it, & trust me: it'll grow on you ;)

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(: Happy Eid :)

(: Happy National Day :)

"Sisters are......

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......different flowers from the same garden"

"What's this life for?"

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What's marriage? What's birth? What's light? What's peace? What's trust? What's anger? What's acceptance? What's sadness? What's appreciation? What's fear? What's admiration? What's regret? What's approval? What's encouragement? What's caring? What's understanding? What's respect? What's devotion? What's validation? What's reassurance? What's life? What's love? What's death?

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The story of Cain & his brother Abel has always left this impact on my life.. It's hard grasping the extreme extent that any of us can reach.. Seeing how the world around me goes by, with all those extreme acts of love, violence, hatred & peace, I stand in awe! Now, I thank God for knowing what's this life for, but do you? Creed don't I guess, do they? They asked it before, "What's this life for?".. I hope they do now!

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(: May God accept these ten blessed days & nights :)

(: Happy warm winter :)

(: Good night :)

~ h a z y ~

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Girls girls girls.. I think girls to the world are like a cradle to the babies.. I think they're like caves, deep and carry a lot..

I've been learning a lot from dealing with kids in this school.. I've been understanding more about me through their very eyes.. I've been seeing why the world is like it is today.. They're a very important mirror that we all "adults" need to look at!

Li'l 11 year old, Miss N., came up to me yesterday telling me that she's in love! And I, ladies and gentlemen, was SAVED BY THE BELL! Thank God for that bell; for without it, I would have been so lost!

Earlier on that day, I saw them playing this "future game".. Girls used to play it around me when I was younger, and I made fun of them every time my turn came telling them it's "silly", while dying form the inside to play it, just to know! To know who's cradle will I be! I'm sure you know this game, it's when you fold a piece of paper into a couple of folds and on each fold you write a group of nouns.. On a fold, boys' names, the next numbers, then colors, then cars' brands, then countries & much more.. And then with your thumb, you go over each fold back and forth until whoever's turn it is says 'stop', and that will be her future husband's name, and then the number of kids she'll have, and then the color of her house, and then the car she'll have and so forth.. I was always against it, and they made fun of me for being so uptight! I wanted to know it all, but I knew I'd have to WAIT!

I wanted to tell li'l N. to WAIT and be patient.. To watch out for her heart.. To look out for the fragile being she is.. To know that to stay "crystal-clear", you gotta build a wall to protect you from ever breaking, 'cuz whenever you will, you won't have your original pureness.. But the bell rang and the words were too big for her anyway.. Anyway......

I don't really think of "tomorrow" much, I got myself used to not asking any questions about tomorrow from an early age.. But it seems the older you get, the more you'll have to think of "tomorrow".. One of the reasons I avoided the "tomorrow" drama for, was to not face any disappointments! Disappointments are such a killer, aren't they? I pray I'd never be a disappointment to anyone! Ever!

Is it the weather or what? I love winters, and this winter has nothing to do with coldness, but it is just so freakin COLD! Everything is so dull! Unclear! Obscure! Ambiguous!

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C E R T A I N L Y H A Z Y !

Umm Zahra (f)

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Umm Zahra (flower's mom).. One of the most beautiful women I've ever met! Her face glows with faith & hands gleam with light! It was a pleasure & a real delight meeting her!

Yesterday, "Friday the 13th", was calling on me, "come to God's house.. Come, come..".. I heard it so clear & couldn't ignore it for any reason.. The weekend's laziness & the week's weariness were melting off with the first sprinkle of ablution water on my skin.. Mysterious energy beamed all around me & carried me to God's house..

The weather was perfect, the clouds were floating & the kids were hollering on the roads.. As I drove off, the streets were greeting me with a unique morning smoothie turning all the lights to green & rushing me to God's Call..

As soon as I reached the Holy House, I found an empty spot right in front of the shaded ladies section waiting for me, thanking me for answering the call.. In disbelief, I parked the car & flew out.. As I was putting my shoes on the shelf, this cute little Somali girl opened the gate for me with happy eyes and a big gum in her mouth.. She answered my salam with this cute accent of hers that would melt down an iceberg! As I walked in, I didn't find many women as (a) I went early, (b) Women don't really go to the mosques here much often! So I go and next to the wall, unfold my rug & pray the prayer of greeting the mosque..

After finishing off my two rak'as, Umm Zahra, a woman I never met, sitting in the front row waved at ME telling me to sit next to her and tapped on the rug next to her.. So, I smiled back and went and sat & she didn't say a word! She carried on reading from the Holy Book & I started my own reading too.. Every once in a while she'd smile at me & without uttering a word, she'd continue reading.. And while reading, a sajdah came through the lines & she prostrated for around 10 minutes! I was stunned by the beauty of her power! She's this very very old Somali woman who happens to have an enormous amount of wrinkles on both her face & hands.. The hinna from her hands smelled so fresh just like Eid! Her physical ability wouldn't be much, but her prostration was a long one that would make you think, "what is wrong with me! I'm way younger and don't really prostrate this long much!".. As she rose back to her first posture, I couldn't help but wonder, why me? Why would she ask a young stranger to sit next to her! A person like her would pick a wiser looking woman, at least from her background, to sit next to..

I sat there, hearing her whispers of recitation from the thirtieth section of the Qur'an and was impressed! Arabic isn't her first language & her recitation is almost perfect! Moments later, more women started coming and among them were women she knows.. All greeting her "assalamu alaikum Umm Zahra..", and nicely she'd answer back with this peaceful grin of hers.. I showed her that it's okay with me to move back to let them sit next to her, but she held me down! She, again, without saying a word, "told" me that she wants me sitting there! We continued sitting there for almost an hour before the athan went on, without leaning on the wall for once! She knows how to sit with her back straight & The Book in her hands without moving! Just reading God's Words & trying to live them while disconnecting herself from all familiar and unfamiliar faces..

As the sermon started, she sank her face in between her hands and LISTENED! As it was over and Imam Ahmed started supplicating before the prayer, she started weeping and weeping! She was shaking as if it was the Last Day! She tried holding it all in, but her shaking showed it all.. She wouldn't scream "amen" like everyone else did, oh no.. She'd just "amen" on her own.. She'd plead but in her polite way!

As soon as we were done, people ran towards her for a hello and went back.. I prayed the Sunnah prayer (that I not always pray :$) & waited for her to finish hers, but she took quite some time.. As soon as she was done, I kissed her forehead & hugged her so tight without a word! She started praying for me as if she was my own mother!!!!! Her prayers were so sweet I didn't want them to end..

But it had to end,

And I had to go..

But in my heart,

I'll always know..

She's the flower's Mom,

Who's smell will always flow..

I LOVE YOU UMM ZAHRA (f)

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P.S. What's wrong with number 13? Ha? Huh? Huuuuuuuh? Yesterday, Friday the thirteeeeeeeenth was AWESOME! YOU THIRTEEN PEOPLE, PLEASE RECONSIDER THAT THOUGHT! CANADA, please, have 13 floors.. I live in the thirteenth floor and IT'S FINE! GOSH! What's that all about!

P.P.S. Somali people rock! Really! I've always been impressed with the Somali culture! Their ways of living, food, smells, hinna & everything!

P.P.P.S. The little girl at the mosque's door reminded me of a little girl I took pictures off at Native Deen's Concert two years ago :) Here's a picture of her taken while she was looking after her li'l brother until her mom got back.. Isn't she a doll?

P.P.P.P.S. So what if Egypt wins? What happens if Algeria wins? Does it really need this much attention? Dear God!

Take me there......

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To that magic land,

Where clouds are its sand,

And there we won't ever stand,

'Cuz we will fly with our hands......

When you go car-washing.....

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A piece of advice: Please, whenever you go for a car-wash, please please please do remember to NOT let your windows down at least an hour after the washing procedure; for if you do, your windows will get wet again 'cuz of the water remaining in those side gaps and they won't look nice when they dry! I ALWAYS FORGET THAT!

T H E B E A C H :D

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Isn't the beach such a joyful place to be in! Going there always brings in so many happy thoughts.. It's always spacious and unexpectedly a big release.. Nothing can't beat the beach's fresh smell of freshness! It's so REFRESHING :D Just like kite flying; it's always a fun thing to do.. If you've never done it, I think you should try it out :)

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I believe that in order for us to cause comfort to others, we should be comfortable in our own shoes.. So you, I and everyone else should find a focus releasing point in order to live peacefully, don't ya think?

Enjoy your weekend everybody!

Her Daddy's Song :')