Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Dashing Prince/Princess?

UmmAtiyya said:
"So wait...so you mean I can't have the brother who's hafiz with ijaazah in 10 qiraat and fluent in Arabic who has a great beard and ALL his teeth and sparkly eyes and a REAL job that's transferring him to Saudi and is 6ft. tall and only wants one wifey and loves to cook and has never been to prison and has never been married and has a trust fund and a REAL car and wears sunnah clothes and is a sheikh with a dual PhD in Tafsir and Aqeedah with Masters in both child development and Women's Literature and has clean fingernails and makes herbal remedies from his organic garden in his spare time in between running marathons to benefit the soup kitchen he founded the summer he wrote the book on ahklaq when he was 12? You mean I can't have him? I have to settle...for a regular brother? Ok. You know any?"
Relief said
"Umm Attiya I like your response but wouldn't a man like that expect a women like this Hafizah of Qur'an, teacher, housewife, beyond beautiful, hair to her knees, from a wealthy family, virgin, under 21, doesn't complain, doesn't expect too much, superwomen, cook, clean, fluent in several languages including Arabic of course, not attached to the dunya, a muhmin (more than just a plain ordinary muslim), PHd in education but just wants to homeschool any children she has, never looks unkempt, trained beautician, able to give noteworthy massages, never argumentative, encourage husband towards righteous deeds, etc."


Asoom said...

I'm going to disagree with relief, you'd be sooooooo surprised to find out what the seemingly perfect guy chooses, so weird and random how things work out sometimes in terms of couples!

sara said...

Asoom [cutly cute, asoooom ;) reminded me of one of my best friend's name.. She's sooooo far away now :( ]

Asoom, I know what you mean, but what relief meant (i think), is that we gotta work hard too.. Get me? Like we want all that's good from his side & usually don't work hard on ours..

But yeah, it's those li'l weird & random things that do the magic :)

nuh ibn zbigniew gondek said...

As salaam alaikum.

Remember Allah know best!!!

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090

Faith should be the foundation of any marriage.

-- money, employment, health... all fade away like the sands of time.

Ma'as salaama,
nuh ibn

sara said...

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuHu,

And this hadith I always hold dearly to my heart.. The prophet salla Allahu alaihy sallam specifically said religion & character apart; 'cuz he knew that there will be a time where they won't go together..

Now I see ppl with deen & extract khuluk from it & throw it away.. And others with akhlak frame it with other borders than deen..

I pray that non of us would be among them.. Amen.

And waAllahi non of the wealth, looks or any of that lasts.. People should take eachother for what they really are & question themselves, if there will come a day where they lose any or all of that, would they still want them?

May Allah grant us all sakeena.. Amen.

With respect,

Amr said...

I've seen alot of peopel really misunderstand this hadeeth, though it is very clear.

for example, they say: of course i need my husband to be religous and decent, but i also want him to be ... (and start to list that big list you qouted :)

isn't it a contradiction!!

i don't ask girls to just accept any one who is religous and decent and that's it, that would be unfair, of course every one has her preferences, but what rasoulAllah (saaw) means is to put this 2 ting as number 1 periorty, and then floowed by other things.

sara said...

Sadly, I've seen the very same people too :(

It takes faith.. COMPLETE FAITH..

I've seen men like that & women too.. Women asking for many things to do with looks & wealth.. And men saying oh, I want her beautiful & what not..

RasululLah salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: "A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed."

These features are extra qualities.. Qualities that are very apparent.. Easily seen.. But being religious is hardly an apparent feature..

So looking for the religious one will be the hard option.. 'cuz a religious person isn't only the one who wears islamicly etc.. Nor is he/she the one who talks about Qur’an & ahadeeth & prays all the time..

It’s hard.. Anything that is beautiful never really comes easy..

So sisters & brothers, hold on to what the prophet may peace & blessings be upon him has said.. For waAllahi there lies the real beauty & tranquility..

May Allah grant us all ‘hayaa & sakeena.. And grant us the wisdom to choose what’s right for ourselves.. Amen.

sara said...

And regarding beauty.. I always think, if I (personally) get burnt, will I (internally) change? I will learn more, but I'm still going to be me.. sara.. But people will definitely look at me differently..

On a lighter note, if I only had a broken front tooth or a simpler physical defect, people would STILL view me differently..

Today, I learnt about the cleft
lip from Wynona Robison..

Will her son have a less probability of getting love (not pity) than other 'normal' people?

"There is a whole world of beauty that isn't about symmetry.
Look deeper.
You'll see it in the curl of a smile, the glint of an eye, The outstretched arm of a child to his father."

~by wynona robison~

sara said...

"In September of 2005, my son, Gideon was born with a cleft lip and palate. It turned my world upside down. I'm told a lot that I have a very symmetrical face and that it's a sign of beauty. Honestly, I think that's incorrect. Beauty has nothing to do with high cheekbones or large eyes, or a certain color of hair.

I developed a passion for photography when I started to look deeper. Beauty to me has more to do with life and love, and the connection of people than anything else, and when I photograph a person, I seek to find that connection.

When my son was diagnosed at my prenatal ultrasound, I scoured the internet for photographs of children with clefts. I found a lot of photographs, but they were very medical, and very sterile. They focused on showing what a cleft looks like, and how wonderfully the doctors fix clefts. I wasn't looking for that. I needed something that would show me that these were real children who were loved, and who love in return. That they were a part of families and that they were happy. I was going to be a Mom to someone like them, and I needed to know who they were."