Friday, May 16, 2008

“L-L-Ladies Ladies”

“Tell me, where’d you get your body from?”

Come on, is that all you care about? How about my heart? You don’t wanna know where I got that one from? Not interested?
~
~

(picture's source)

My heart breaks when I see men staring at women.. You’d think I’m exaggerating, but by Allah I’m not! It really saddens me :( Let me explain it to you guys, I think it’s one of the hardest things to lower your gaze.. But come on.. For God’s sake.. You look so bad when you stare at her body.. you really do.. Just like a dog going after a poodle.. Please, whenever you find yourself gazing at a woman, remember that you’re eating from food that isn’t allowed for you to eat from.. Just like that apple..

Let me break it down for you..

Well, we (women) have the tender hearts.. I listened to this amazing talk by
Moez Masoud & I’d like to translate what he has said & share it here :)
"The prophet (pbuh) has said that we have more tendered hearts than the men have.. Now didn’t Allah say that he who goes to Him with “qalban saleem” healthy heart will be saved? The softer the heart is, the healthier & the closer it is to its pure instincts..
God’s Names are divided into three descriptive categories:
1. Al-Jalal (full of majesty): An example of this category is God’s name: The Majestic.. We shall be fearful of this attribute for instance & as well get attached to it..
2. Al-Jamal (full of beauty): An example of this category is God’s Name: The Most Loving.. We shall hope & ask for more when knowing of this attribute & try to be take from it & reflect it into our very selves..
3. Al-Kamal (all complete): An example of this category is God’s Name: The Most Just.. We shall believe in this without a doubt & strengthen our faith by knowing so..
Now here’s the cutest part.. Men are known to be having more of the first category by nature than women.. & women are born with the second type to be of their natural state.. Men should learn more on how to be of the second & women should live & try to adopt & live by growing on being more of the first.."

Ain’t that beautiful!

By you (man) staring at her body & checking where she got it from, your losing your instinctive qualities that make you a man.. And more importantly, you're missing on seeing the best part of her! And when she uses her outer beauty, she’s killing the best part of her.. Her heart..

26 comments:

Stinger said...

Rightly said. Doing the right thing is tough, but that is exactly what makes men, men.

Hassy said...

The Virtues of Lowering the Gaze


Allâh, the Exalted said,

“Say to the believing men that they should lower their sight and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them. Indeed Allâh is well acquainted with all that they do.” [an-Nûr (24):30]

So Allâh made purification and spiritual growth to be the outcome of lowering the sight and guarding the private parts. It is for this reason that lowering one’s sight from (seeing) the prohibited things necessarily leads to three benefits that carry tremendous value and are of great significance.

The First: experiencing the delight and sweetness of faith.

This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his sight from for the sake of Allâh.
Indeed, “whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allâh
then Allâh, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it.”[1]

The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart.
The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:

When you sent your eye as a guide
For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you
For you saw one over whom you had no power Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.

Therefore when the sight is prevented from looking and investigating the heart finds relief from having to go through the arduous task of (vainly)
seeking and desiring.



Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting
point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabâbah) whereby
the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharâmah)
which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (‘ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds.
Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this is a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart.
Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allâh i.e. he worshipped Allâh.
Hence the heart begins to worship that which is not correct for it to
worship and the reason behind all of this was an illegal glance. The heart is now bound in chains whereas before it used to be the master, it is now imprisoned whereas before it was free. It has been oppressed by the eye and
it complains to it upon which the eye replies: I am your guide and messenger and it was you who sent me in the first place!
All that has been mentioned applies to the heart that has relinquished the love of Allâh and being sincere to Him for indeed the heart must have an object of love that it devotes itself to. Therefore when the heart does not
love Allâh Alone and does not take Him as its God then it must worship
something else.

Allâh said concerning Yûsuf as-Siddîq (AS),
“Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants.” [Yûsuf (12):24]

It was because the wife of al-‘Azîz was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yûsuf (AS) was sincere to Allâh that he was saved from it despite his being a young
man, unmarried and a servant.


The Second: the illumination of the heart, clear perception and penetrating insight.
Ibn Shujâ` al-Kirmânî said, “whosoever builds his outward form upon following the Sunnah, his internal form upon perpetual contemplation and awareness of Allâh, he restrains his soul from following desires, he lowers his gaze from the forbidden things and he always eats the lawful things then
his perception and insight shall never be wrong.”


Allâh mentioned the people of Lût and what they were afflicted with and then He went on to say,
“Indeed in this are signs for the Mutawassimîn.” [al-Hijr (15):75]

The Mutwassimîn are those who have clear perception and penetrating insight, those who are secure from looking at the unlawful and performing indecent acts.

Allâh said after mentioning the verse concerning lowering the sight,
“Allâh is the Light of the heavens and the earth.” [an-Nûr (24):35]

The reason behind this is that the reward is of the same type as the action.
So whosoever lowers his sight from the unlawful for the sake of Allâh, the Mighty and Magnificent, He will replace it with something better than it of the same type. So just as the servant restrained the light of his eye from falling upon the unlawful, Allâh blesses the light of his sight and heart
thereby making him perceive what he would not have seen and understood had he not lowered his sight.

This is a matter that the person can physically sense in himself for the heart is like a mirror and the base desires are like rust upon it. When the mirror is polished and cleaned of the rust then it will reflect the
realities (haqâ‘iq) as they actually are. However if it remains rusty then it will not reflect properly and therefore its knowledge and speech will arise from conjecture and doubt.

The Third: the heart becoming strong, firm and courageous Allâh will give it the might of aid for its strength just as He gave it the might of clear proofs for its light. Hence the heart shall combine both of these factors and as a result, Shaytân shall flee from it. It is mentioned
in the narration, “whosoever opposes his base desires, the Shaytân shall flee in terror from his shade.”[2]

This is why the one who follows his base desires shall find in himself the ignominy of the soul, its being weak, feeble and contemptible. Indeed Allâh
places nobility for the one who obeys Him and disgrace for the one who disobeys Him,

So do not lose heart nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith.” [Äli Imrân (3):139]

“If any do seek for nobility and power then to Allâh belongs all nobility and power.” [Fâtir (35):10]
Meaning that whosoever seeks after disobedience and sin then Allâh, the Might and Magnificent, will humiliate the one who disobeys Him.

Some of the salaf said, “the people seek nobility and power at the door of the Kings and they will not find it except through the obedience of Allâh.”

This is because the one who obeys Allâh has taken Allâh as his friend and protector and Allâh will never humiliate the one who takes his Lord as friend and patron.
In the Du‘â Qunût their occurs, “the one who You take as
a friend is not humiliated and the one who You take as an enemy is not
ennobled.”[3]



Notes:

[1] Reported by Ahmad [5/363], al-Marwazî in ‘Zawâ`id az-Zuhd’ [no. 412],
an-Nasâ`î in ‘al-Kubrâ’ as mentioned in ‘Tuhfah al-Ashrâf’ [11/199] from one
of the Companions that the Messenger of Allâh said, “indeed you will not
leave anything for the sake of Allâh except that Allâh will replace it with
something better than it.” The isnâd is sahîh.
[2] This is not established as a hadîth of the Prophet .
[3] Reported by Abû Dâwûd [Eng. Trans. 1/374 no. 1420], an-Nasâ`î [3/248],
at-Tirmidhî [no. 464], ibn Mâjah [no. 1178], ad-Dârimî [1/311], Ahmad
[1/199], ibn Khuzaymah [2/151] from al Hasan from Alî (RA).
The hadîth is sahîh. The isnâd has been criticised by many, however none of
the criticisms hold. Refer to: ‘Nasb ar-Râyah’ [2/125] and ‘Talkhîs
al-Habîr’ [1/247]


**********************************
Taken from ‘al-Muntaqâ min Ighâthatul Lufhân fî Masâyid ash-Shaytân’ [pp.’s 102-105] of Ibn al-Qayyim, summarised by ‘Alî Hasan al-Halabî

sara said...

stinger,
You can do it man, you can!

Hassy,
Thaaaaaaaanks a lot hun :D
Yakhy waAllahi it feels sooooo freakin good lowering our gaze, doesn't it? I am the untouched flower :) with pride..
No seeing haram & wantin the halal is the sweetest taste ever, ain't it?
may Allah protect us from the outer evil & the evil of our own selves.. Amen.

LuLu...! said...

man... sometimes i feel like i wanna spit on them and tell them that u guys r ANIMALS...

:@:@:@ THEY REALLY GET ON MY NERVES....

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH

mohamedhassan said...

Sara,

now I know what got you upset. What can I say, I'm sorry but if you were me you'd understand what I did. Life throws a lot at me, and the past 4 years have been a roller coaster; others would have probably died already, yet I still didn't :)

Now to your post...you managed to bring a smile to my grim face! are we like dogs after a poodle? LOL! thanks, that is very "Cat"sy of you ;-) No seriously, don't you think this post is besides the point? the point being, why do women wear what they wear and not dress modestly as they are required to do?

We might be after the poodle, but trust me some do their best, but can you please cover the poodle a bit so we are not exposed to more than what is humanely bearable? :)

I end it with saying that neither men dress modestly these days...even I do get a bit over the mark sometimes, but my mark is just too low compared to others, but anyway that is not good enough. I don't believe in the theory of relativity when it comes to morality though.

Salamo alikom

infoguide said...

I agree with you Sara, But in even agree that Women now-a-days dont dress accordingly, inviting Men to scan them head to toe.
Its a shame really.... :-(

Maryam

ReceptiveGuy said...

you dn't expect me to avoid looking to beautiful flowers and reoses, do u?

although whn the roses r hidden i won't try to show them up myself

it's not all abt men u know,
take some responsibility

sara said...

Luluuuuuuuuuu,
Try to turn this anger to positive messages.. Think of what you can do sis.. Pity them.. Pray for them.. It burns my heart out waAllahi ya sis.. Wallahy I cry at times seeing this.. WALLAHY!

Mr. Mohamed,
Alaika assalam wa rahmatu Allah..
Hamdillah ‘ala salamtak.. I’m glad you’re safe & sound & hope the ride has added to you more than it took from you.. The world needs ya! Seriously!
As for the poodle.. You know why they do that? Instinctively, we LOVE to show our beauty.. We love beautifying ourselves by nature.. For you.. We do that seeking security.. As honest as can be.. BUT, unfortunately, we lost control.. My sisters have LOST IT! It’s sad.. I’m all for sutra.. And I LOVE that word.. I’m for ‘iffah.. And here’s what I shared a couple for weeks ago: http://www.gosmelltheflowers.com/archives/2948#comment-55593
We both should suppress ourselves for Allah’s sake.. Or else it’ll be a jungle..
“I don't believe in the theory of relativity when it comes to morality though.” You got it..

Miss IG,
It’s a shame :( disgrace.. dishonor.. I pray my days would end soon before living in a cold world ruled by monsters.. Amen.

RG,
Bos ya sedy.. I’m so glad you’re honest here & spoke the truth.. But before I start telling you what I think, I want you to agree with me on one thing: We both are slaves.. We choose to act as either: God’s slaves or this world’s salves.. So I assume you chose the first one as I did..
And from that context I’d like to start by bismillah.. RG, now would you like to look at the flowers & I look at its bushes? Is that what you want? Want your dad & mine to enjoy the flowers & our mothers enjoy its bushes? Is that what you’re saying? You see, I didn’t say those hell-leading-flowers aren’t responsible.. I’m so sorry for how women have become.. I’m so sorry for the increase of this fitna.. This is the eternal struggle & blessed are those who fight.. WAllahy blessed big time..
rasoolullah (pbuh) said that we shouldn’t gaze for long.. We accidentally looked & saw for the first time, we switch our sight, or use our eyelids.. If you don’t, you’re looking at the eternal hell-road-leading-flower.. The look brings the heart a notion that gets to your mind & starts a stimulation that leads to a power, a wanting, a desire & a strong need to DO.. Do that which you’d deeply regret doing.. That’s in case you’ve chosen to be the first type of slave that we’ve both agreed to be..
You’re looking at something that would harm you in this life & the next (if you believe in it).. If you’re married, you’d start comparing & you’d look down at your wife.. And same with her, if she’d start looking at them beautiful powerful strong bushes, she’d lose interest in you & the joy of the heart will be lost forever.. If you’re single, you’d torture yourself & will live a life of regrets.. Regrets & you know what I mean, don’t ya?
We’re dealing with Allah & He Has always promised that if we leave something for His sake, He’ll grant us what’s waaaaaaaaaaay better.. Don’t you believe in His promises? See, Yusuf (pbuh) has left her & eventually he got her all in the halal way.. Allah will never forget your reward..
We can lower our gaze RG.. By knowing that Allah-seeing-us is closer than our-seeing-&-looking-at-the-haram.. You see, those beautiful pretty delicate flowers & those strong handsome bushes are not ours for the take.. Looking at those who aren’t ours will always add a wound to the heart.. And an increase in the wounds will get the heart to bleed & die forever.. Do you want us to live with no hearts now RG? Do you? Do you want us to be imprisoned by those looks we save in our heads? We’ll eventually lose any sweet taste.. We’ll forget all about the REAL DEAL.. The real joy.. The real pleasure.. The clean one.. The pure one..
You know that one of the seven people who’ll be in God’s shade on the day there won’t be any shade but His, is the one who’ll leave the forbidden flower for His sake.. We aren’t free here RG.. We’re slaves.. Our freedom is in Heaven inshaAllah.. Free here means the one who suppresses the filthy whispers & frees the heart of all its diseases.. Free here means being more in charge of ourselves by controlling our forbidden desires.. You see, it’s a li’l costy wanting heaven & I’m sure you want it & long for it as much as I do :)
RG, if we don’t fear Allah, we’ll fear other things.. But if we fear Him, we will be fearless of any other thing..
Finally, “elly bitassir tanoura” does it with her freewill & it’s you too have your freewill to look or not..
And since you like Aisha Rg :) I’d love to leave you with:

“In the name of the most beneficent the most high
He who holds my soul before and after I die
See I'm lost in confusion so please help me lord
I wanna act right but can't play my cards right
Don't let me go astray show me the right path
So I can be amongst the righteous and not those who catch your wrath
Any fool can make a baby only a man can raise one
June 17th you granted me a son
I know the first look is forgiven but the second isn't
But I'm already at my 5th lord now I wish I'd listened
To the truth I know a part of it still in denial
If I knew what your loved one knew I would barely smile”
~ Outlandish ~

“If I worship U in fear of hell, burn me in it
And if I worship U in hope of paradise, exclude me from it
But if I worship U for Your own being
Don't withhold from me Your everlasting beauty”
~ Outlandish ~

MASS said...

to all the bros that wont lower their gaze

remember that she occasionaly

vomits
gets diorhea (however you spell it)
produces nasty secretions

and that all these stuff are yuck and gross... remember she farts
and her tummy is full of other nasty things..

and remember what you have laid your eyes on has been be tarnished by other eyes as well.

remember that in the janah the hoor al ein have non of that and that their dowery is qiyaam al layl, and that they have been never seen or touched by man or jin.

ehmm sorry for Sara and the sisters but I guess it workd for many bros..

ReceptiveGuy said...

hey sara,
i totally agree with most of wht u said

i jus wanna 2 clear it out

u said

“Tell me, where’d you get your body from?”

it seems to me that it's jus a guilty guy here

well, it's not only a guilty guy
that's exactly wht i said
there's a guilty female too
so if any nice girl wanna avoid guyz stares, it's jus have to get it covered or not to complain at all
hope my point is clear to u

p.s. a flirtable man won't say such a thing abt a covered women

BTW i wasn't arguing to get a license to stare

sara said...

MASS,
Yareit I can see shabab almoslemeen thinking like this!
Yareit!

RG,
Will.I.Am said that: "Tell me, where’d you get your body from?", not me!
If youread what I said, you'd kow that I said the fitna is from the ladies.. (so-called-ladies)
I'm glad you're not of those men..
Doesn't MASS rock?

Kristen Bjorg said...

Why is it,that,one only hears about guys lusting after well built women?

What about women lusting like crazy after good looking hunky guys?That happens,you know.Where are we women supposed to look?What if the guy's eyes get us all shook up?And,then what if the object of our affction is dressed really sexy,showing skin,etc? Even the hands of men can get a women hot and bothered.Also,any and all distinguishable marks men have attracts us women and can get even the hearts of the toughest of us to skip a beat.

sara said...

Kristen,

That's exatly why we shouldn't look in the first place :)

The fist look is forgiven but the second isn't..

Kristen Bjorg said...

I meant to say the object of our affection,I'm sorry for the typo.

Isn't English beautiful?I sure don't like to destroy any beautiful expression in the English language.I have such love for the English lanuage,it's amazing.

sara said...

I LOVE LANGUAGES!

love linguistics :)

It's such a joy to me :D

Have a lovely blessd day Kristen :)

Tauqeer said...

Thank you for sharing that, the three names and attributes being shared with men and women...very interesting,
Jazak Allah Khair

sara said...

I knoooooooow :)

Those Names were examples of the categories.. But there are more of course :)

Jazakum Allah khair :)

MASS said...

<====="Hunky guy" here.

look away.

sara said...

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN :@

Ya'ni first you say 'hunky guy here' & make me look & then say 'look away'? :@

After I looked? :@

TOOOOOOOOOOO LAAAAAAATE!

And you're taking my thanb :P

You should have said:

WARNING

LOOK AWAY

Hell fire road ahead

HUNKY GUY HERE..

:@

asma said...

The fist look is forgiven but the second isn't..

So true dear ... but we our the ones who learn everything the hard way :S

In here a woman has to protect herself of the oh-so-manliness of men :(

sara said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through that :(

Hang in there..

He's Always Watching :)

MASS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Veiled Muslimah said...

to add to the discussion... sometimes men still look at even COVERED women. :-/ But I'm sure er [hopefully] the reason/intentions behind that is different. [I'm assuming]. But its still uncomfortable.

sara said...

Of course they stil look.. And it'll always remain uncomfortable..

Rabinna yusturna fawqa alard, tahta alard wa yauma al'ard.. Amen.

Umm Yusuf said...

Assalaamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,

Mash'Allah excellent post! I can not stand when men do that. I also wrote a post about this some time ago.

sara said...

alaiky assalama wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuHu,

They even stare at women in hospitals in the midst of tribulations :(

This is one of the reasons muslims are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind today.. busy starin at the behinds :(