Clouds of love <3

Clouds & clouds,
& love from between the crowds..

By the window I sit & shout,
As I watch the world go round..

With a warm mug in my hand,
And a standing glowing lamp..

No one knows but me,
The truth that I clearly see..

Today I can show the world,
A heart that’s everything but cold..

So here’s my flower for you,
And wishes to feel all that is true..

~

How I wish you can see those clouds of love,

And that white flying dove :)

* Samer Qwaider *

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Samer Qwaider waited for long,
Until he found the rhythm of his song..

He lived a life full of hardships & success,
That eventually lead him to this gorgeous flower of his..

She’s the star of his show,
& the pill of strength against all of his foes..

Together they’ll bloom & help this world,
And add to it a new flavor that’ll give it a cute curl..

Today I’m glad to know that the sweets Qwaider man,
Is becoming a more responsible, loving & a brand new man..

I wish I can be a part of this joyful occasion,
And add a rose to your li’l new love organization..

May The Most Loving grant you two the tranquility you need,
To love, nurture & grow all the long needed seeds..

My heart goes out to you Sam & to your loving princess,
Who’s God’s blessing that’s been written for you way before this mess..

On Sami's Writings and Such ;)

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Sami's writings are so gooooooood that you see them coming to life, right in front of your eyes, at any given time :) This very recent piece is simple yet so deeeeeeeeeeeep.. It's all about who wins in the end, you know..

What’s your beat like?

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It’s pretty fascinating seeing everyone have their unique knock.. Know what I mean? Like their knock on the door has its own sound.. Just like their laugh.. What even amazes me more is that, like stinger has said here, everyone has his/her own world & nothing is ever RANDOM in it! Like I see this cat mew & then I hear this thing & I see the world speaking to me & only me through those very happenings.. My friend could hear the same thing, but she wouldn't get touched by it the way I do.. She gets affected by something else that I might not relate to at all.. How Powerful is God! How Mighty! He runs all these lives with such Mercy that people no longer feel or even seek!

Yesterday they flew off to the best of His creation’s land (peace & blessings be upon him).. & soon, by His Will, they’ll be taking off to His Holy House, how beautiful is that! Their eyes were looking at me yesterday & today they’ll be looking at his place! Their very hands were shaking mine & today they’ll be on the holy land in prostration begging for forgiveness & a happy start after a peaceful ending.. Li’l amoona will be stepping there too, along with ‘em.. I asked her to pray for me & she said: “what shall I ask God for you?”, I told her ask Him to do me & all my loved ones all good things, & she promised she will :)

If you had the chance to do a bad thing & you’d be guaranteed that no one will find out, would you do it? And above all, God won’t ask you about it, would you? You know what I think? I think they’re really blessed those who’d say “No, without a doubt!”.. Those, who won’t ever do something wrong, ‘cuz they know better.. ‘cuz they’re so clean that they wouldn’t even consider that! And don’t go jumpin sayin: “we’re human”, ‘cuz you know what, this man was asked (while attached to this lies detecting machine) if he had a chance to cheat on his wife without being caught, would he do it? & he said he wouldn’t, with an amazing assertiveness & without the slightest disturbance in his beats!

The weather has been a little strange lately; as if it has been speaking of my state! Isn’t the sound of the wind scary when it goes loud? Or is it me who has been scared of everything lately? "O Allah, let it be a mercy and not a punishment. O Allah make it a beneficial and not a destructive wind.."

I pray our shades would always remain as good as they’re meant to be.. Amen.

And oh, before I go, I'd like to ask you to please not change your unique knock or laugh, you can beautify it, but not fake it, yeah? Love who you are :)

"We're gonna be sinkin' soon"

I've been very disturbed after watching this man on T.V. last night.. He says he killed his three kids in front of each other, with a sword, just to "let people know".. Let people know what? I don't know..

I hate watching these stuff, but I don't know how I came in front of the T.V. at that exact moment.. I didn't have a good sleep & I spent a long time thinking only one thing: "Do I belong here?"

It's very frustrating for me looking around.. It's very scary everywhere.. What is my role in the middle of this jungle? Can I actually fight this inhumane world? Is it my world anyway? Is it?

I never realised this was going on around me.. I thought it was way prettier than it sadly is.. Yeah, I do look through the glass, but maybe I involuntarily looked at the flowery side of it.. Or maybe I was taught to look only at the flowery side of it.. I get so ill knowing; so can I carry on not knowing please? Can I keep my circle this small & change as much as I can in it, with my heart full of light? If I don't, My heart will get sick.. Real sick, & no cure shall be found! I know me..

~

"We're an oyster cracker on the stew,

And the honey in the tea,

We're the sugar cubes, one lump or two,

In the black coffee,

The golden crust on an apple pie,

That shines in the sun at noon,

We're a wheel of cheese high in the sky,

But we're gonna be sinkin' soon.

In a boat that's built of sticks and hay,

We drifted from the shore,

With a captain who's too proud to say,

That he dropped the oar,

Now a tiny hole has sprung a leak,

In this cheap pontoon,

Now the hull has started growing weak,

And we're gonna be sinkin' soon."

~ Norah Jones ~

~

On a lighter-funnier-yet-sad note, read this.. Mama 7aki: You're hilarious :) May 7aki Peanut come out safe & sound & make this world a better one, amen :)

kiteer awee :')

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[This is pretty li'l Ava.. Sheye, I pray she'd come to you on the big day & take you by the hand to paradise & you'd fly together, forever.. Amen]

The yummiest burgers were made to my highness today by the yummiest pudding ever :’)

Isn’t it one of the worst feelings ever being excessively overwhelmed & not finding any means for a real ‘thank you’?

I’ve always felt overwhelmed by all those who surround me, & what’s more is that: most of the time I feel guilty for the excessively great treatment, love & care I’ve always got, as in: “I don’t deserve this!”..

Yes I pray for them, but I want to do more.. Nothing bigger than prayer, but I’m saying more.. More..

It’s even scary! It’s kiteer.. kiteeeeeeer aweeeeeee! (too much)

To all of you amazing people whom Allah Has blessed me with:

You’re the song of my heart,
And the real love from the start..

With you, I’m the twirling princess,
And without you, there’s no real happiness..

I love you all today & everyday,
And ‘thank you’ is nothing that could pay..

Here I lay my heart for you,
And my soul will always dance by you..

My mind carries the letters of your names,
And my body would talk without me knowing,
‘cuz of your beautiful faces =P

~
(These last two lines were written by pudding; he came while I was heartstorming & said that along with the smiley)

~

I love you..

S U T R A

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I’ve talked earlier about how I personally feel about men who “tuck their shirts” in.. Today, I’d like to talk about women who choose to cover themselves up in obedience to their Lord..

I’ve talked here about this in detail, but now, I’d like to be more specific & talk about the black ‘abayah..

It’s hard for me to put my feelings into words, but I’ll try my best.. The black ‘abayah & I are in very good terms.. I’m talking here about the plain black loose ‘abayah with no patterns & stuff.. It covers real good & does what it’s supposed to do.. I spent years in it feeling comfortable, but when the windy days come in with their strong face, my ‘abaya & I face some serious trouble.. Its material, no matter how thick, sticks to me bringing out my form.. I found alternatives to the black ‘abayah.. Some people figure that this is a step back for me.. Sadly, that’s not true.. Or at least, that's what I believe.. You can’t, oh dear sister/brother, limit modesty to a piece of cloth!

A friend of mine told me a couple of days ago: “I know exactly who I want (for marriage)”.. It’s pretty amazing to know what you want, but it’s a horrible mistake if you set those “matching points” to a materialistic feature.. So I hope oh dear friend you’re not falling into that trap.. I, for a period of time, limited my options & set a specific description to whom I want.. And then, after a while, & after meeting many different people, I reached a point where I thought: “no sara, it’s not as you think it is.. It’s way more complicated than that..”

The same friend told me: “He (a brother) wants a niqabi or a modestly dressed sister”.. The good part is that he wants her covered, but the sad part is that those were the number one options he wanted.. Know what I mean? I mean it’s important to want that, & you GOTTA have that, but it’s not the distinctive feature that would secure your marital life..

All I’m trying to say here is that the internal sutra (cover) is very VERY important.. And sister, you can’t judge me by the ‘abayah, skirt, dress or whatever it is that I wear.. And you can’t hook me up with your brother only ‘cuz I observe this..

*Thinking of many things to be said, but can’t organize them!*

Last but not least, don’t limit your options brothers & sisters.. You never know!

You never know!

How yummy did it ever get?

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~

A lady took my parking lot yesterday.. MY parking lot.. MINE! After four years of driving! In a very hot day & after a stressful time at the hospital, I was waiting for the dude to drive back, & she, sneakily after SEEING me & knowing it was MIIIIINE, stole it! I controlled myself & didn’t even give her the LOOK & left peacefully & parked further away.. It took me a minute or so to forgive her, & it felt good being able to do so :) It has this taste.. This very sweet taste :)

I wonder, what’s the sweetest taste that you’ve ever tasted? There are lotsa sweet tastes that one can have in this lifetime.. Like a smile sent from someone’s heart to yours.. Or seeing some tree branches dancing by a breath of a breeze in a hot summery day.. Or hearing God’s call in the midst of your busy agenda.. Or being able to see through someone’s eyes & getting dazzled by the streams of love flowing through their veins.. I wonder, what’s the sweetest taste that you’ve ever tasted?

It scares me a lot having mostly everything facilitated for me.. I’m worried about the comforts I experience most of the time.. The bed I have, the water, the sky, the roof, the colors, the horses, the love, the protection, the flowers, the ability, the light, the warmth, the peace, the dreams, the life, the teddy :’)

And mama, no matter how hard you try, my teddy will never tell you all the secrets; ‘cuz simply you know waaaaaay more than she does :) [I caught mama yesterday asking my dear teddy all different questions about me; to find out how far I’ve reached.. She looked so pretty talking to dear teddy :) Love you mum <3>]

~ Bless your heart ~

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As I was watching li’l amoona sleep, I wished so many things.. I wished my life was as smooth as her cheeks, & as simple as her tiny li’l hands, & as delightfully short as her petite form.. She looks so beautiful sleeping, that you can spend hours looking at her breathe so calmly wishing that her peace can fill the world & keep on flowing to ease all hardships.. I couldn’t take my eyes off her! She’s just a piece of art.. Praise The Light of the heavens & the earth!

I love it when DJ Moe says “bless your heart” on the radio.. My heart always sings “amen” after he says that.. I pray God would bless all our hearts.. The hearts hold so many secrets that usually long to be heard.. Ain’t it beautiful having your heart & feeling its beats? I mean, God could have simply made it function as quietly as your brain or your liver do.. Instead, you can hear it beat all throughout your life.. The problem is that people have stopped knowing how to hear their hearts out long time ago.. It’s become rare to see someone hearing their heart out or giving it anytime at all.. When I asked li’l amoona to hear my heart, she said: “It says: amoona, amoona, amoona..”! AND SHE WAS RIGHT!

When I was younger, I remember holding fruits & flowers & trying to hear them out.. I also remember someone saying that you can hear the ocean in a seashell.. We stopped listening loooooooooong ago & I believe that's why everything is getting uglier & our summers are getting hotter & our rains are getting sadder..

Bless our <3s