Sunday, June 08, 2008


(picture's source)

I’ve talked earlier about how I personally feel about men who “tuck their shirts” in.. Today, I’d like to talk about women who choose to cover themselves up in obedience to their Lord..

I’ve talked
here about
this in detail, but now, I’d like to be more specific & talk about the black ‘abayah..

It’s hard for me to put my feelings into words, but I’ll try my best.. The black ‘abayah & I are in very good terms.. I’m talking here about the plain black loose ‘abayah with no patterns & stuff.. It covers real good & does what it’s supposed to do.. I spent years in it feeling comfortable, but when the windy days come in with their strong face, my ‘abaya & I face some serious trouble.. Its material, no matter how thick, sticks to me bringing out my form.. I found alternatives to the black ‘abayah.. Some people figure that this is a step back for me.. Sadly, that’s not true.. Or at least, that's what I believe.. You can’t, oh dear sister/brother, limit modesty to a piece of cloth!

A friend of mine told me a couple of days ago: “I know exactly who I want (for marriage)”.. It’s pretty amazing to know what you want, but it’s a horrible mistake if you set those “matching points” to a materialistic feature.. So I hope oh dear friend you’re not falling into that trap.. I, for a period of time, limited my options & set a specific description to whom I want.. And then, after a while, & after meeting many different people, I reached a point where I thought: “no sara, it’s not as you think it is.. It’s way more complicated than that..”

The same friend told me: “He (a brother) wants a niqabi or a modestly dressed sister”.. The good part is that he wants her covered, but the sad part is that those were the number one options he wanted.. Know what I mean? I mean it’s important to want that, & you GOTTA have that, but it’s not the distinctive feature that would secure your marital life..

All I’m trying to say here is that the internal sutra (cover) is very VERY important.. And sister, you can’t judge me by the ‘abayah, skirt, dress or whatever it is that I wear.. And you can’t hook me up with your brother only ‘cuz I observe this..

*Thinking of many things to be said, but can’t organize them!*

Last but not least, don’t limit your options brothers & sisters.. You never know!

You never know!


Driada said...

No creo que me puedas entender pero estaba paseando y he querido entrar para dejarte un saludo desde España Barcelona

Anonymous said...

I still like what you wrote on "gosmelltheflowers" more. That was beautiful. This one sounds more like an angry mullah's speech. :P

Anonymous said...

And yes, wearing an abaya doesn't make a woman perfect. There is a lot more to the abaya than just a big black piece of cloth. What you wrote on "gosmelltheflowers" makes a woman closer to nature, and hence perfection.

The tragedy of muslim societies is that we are told that sex is bad, that being attracted to the opposite gender is bad. When its not bad at all, its only natural. I would be more disturbed if I found out that a guy isn't attracted to women. What makes men, men is how they do the right thing despite their feelings. Similar thing goes for women.

I plan to write about women and hijab, and how it is absolutely necessary. I plan to look at the problem from a psychological point of view, rather than religious. Of course, Islam teaches us things which would lead us to have a perfectly normal psyche, still I prefer to talk in terms which are more acceptable to non-muslims or people who are irritated by mullah-like talk.

sara said...

Thank you for passing by :)

The one I wrote on gosmelltheflowers was about a muslim woman's 'hijab'.. But here, I was trying to point out the 'types' of hijab..
Our insticts are never haram.. But the way we 'direct' them is either halal or haram..
Please do write, & I'll wait for that post :)

Jawwad said...

eXActly.. internal beauty, internal pureness thats what more important.. you will find many females wearing abayah these days but not having good character..

sara said...

I hear ya Jawwad.. I totally do :(

UmmBlog said...

*Whispers* It's me the Cursed Aroosa. Yep! I’ve finally made my way to the blog world. Blame Hassy! :D

GO! Smell the flowers said...

Hi Sara and we well remember your valuable insights when you took the time to enlighten us flowers from around the world!

It truly added to the thread amongst the flowers and the thorns and for that we truly thank you...

Congratulations - you've made it to our blogroll!

Hope all is well from all at GO! Smell the flowers.

MASS said...

Black Abaya is the way to be!

I understand those who say its a step backwards for you..

in my experience from sisters in my uni it is almost a universal fact. (sorry to be blunt about it)

nothing beats the black Abaya it just signals to men go away not interested of course if maintained with islamic manners. and for the wind issue which i totally get am sure there is something that could be done.

The black abaya also usually an indication of "manhaj" usually the sisters who wear skirts and big tops are more incline with the new ikhwan wave..

I use to refer to sisters who wear hijab in that way with colourful stuff etc as the "Amr Khaled Sisters" which at many times tend to be a burden on the da3wa. as they set up a bad standard and call that Islam.

its not an indication of piety..but when you put it with other factors it becames so. It shows inclinations to social movments.. and probably what spectrum you are within them..

as for that bro. I dont blame him.. I would always go for the abaya sister (all other factors remianing constant)

that peice of cloth is not modesty, but it certianly is part of it.

sara said...

awwww honeeeeeeeeeeey.. Don't you ever say cursed ya aroosa :@
Your the prettiest aroosa with the warmest heart ever..
Welcome to the beautiful amazing miraculous blogworld.. May Allah grant you & others the best of it & save us all of its harm.. Amen :)
And on top of all, welcome, to my humble li'l corner <3
Wish you all the best ya ahla arooooosa :D

Come on you guys :$
I didn't do nothing at all! It was just sharing my heart out..
That's really toooooo much!
Thanks a million you sweet people.. I love your flowers & pray the world shares you with open hearts.. Amen :)
Hope all is well with you loving people.. Amen :)

First of all, blunt about these matters is what I seek all throughout my life! And the respectful bluntness of yours is moooooost welcome..
As for it signaling "not interested", that's amazing.. But this labelling is what I talk about.. This discrimination.. Yeah, discrimination ya MASS.. It would have been easier for Allah to tell us: wrap yourselves with the black abaya, right? Did He specify it? Its a cultural thing ya MASS.. And don't look at me like that, YES IT'S A CULTURAL THING!
The wind thing CAN NOT be solved.. I wore a billion things underneath.. & it never really worked.. AND I KNOW.. I'm not making that up.. AT least for me out of all the sisters, it's NOT working for me..
If it wasn't for the wind, I wouldn't have mentioned it..
But of course, for all the married sisters, they should do what their husbands (what their God fearing husbands) want.. And that will be me too inshaAllah..
And as regards to the 'manhaj', again, labelling.. Why MASS? why?
Now anything other than the black abaya will go into 'bad spectrum'? Why MASS? You're killing a lotta sisters if you're saying that :( You're killing me that way..
It really matters to me what a brother with your views & mentality thinks.. And it really saddens me the way you've labelled everyone :(
Would rasuluLlah think your way if he lived now?
MASS, waAllahi, by The Most High, Who sees me right now as I type these words, I wish there was a box that I could move on.. I wish I never have to leave my home.. I wish so many things that CAN'T happen.. So until my last day, I'll never be interested, & never EVER want anyone to look at me outside my home..
As for the black abayah, it'll always be in my cubby, but not all I wear.. And may Allah show me & all the other sisters the light.. the real light..
May he fill our hearts with 'iffa & save us from all hungry eyes.. Amen.

Anonymous said...

In Pakistan, not a lot of women wear abayas/gowns. We have burqas and chadars. In Iran, they have rusaries. Its a cultural thing. :)

MASS said...


there are plenty of shuroot for a hijab to be really one..

1- covers 3awra
2- not transparrent
3-not sticky doesnt shape the body
4-does not resemble wha men wear
5-does not resemble what kuffar wear
6-is not an ornament in itself

number 6 is what many sisters fall short in.. and usually number 3 is compromised as well but not as much..

im not all for black, although this is what I personally perfer, and am also down with the darker colours.. you could usually tell even if a sister is wearing a skirt and a loose top that she is serious... bass there are sisters who fool non but themselves

a jeans skirt that is loose but not lose at their waist and semi tight tops and pink hijab.

that doesnt stop there it comes with a baggage of juristprudence opinions, laxed about gender mixing, women roles are smeared, music is all good, Amr khaled,Tariq Suwaidan Moez, Mustafa Hosney, Sami Yusuf, Iqra TV, Resala Tv etc.. etc..

its a sub culture in itself...

the labels are only a reflection of a distinction they arent superficial. they are THERE..

if abayas are not wind friendly then there is isdal. there is what niqabi sisters do again am not a female gear expert but they can tell you.

am sure the sahabiyat did not wear what many sisters wear today nor they would approve of such.

black usually = conservative.

sara said...

You got me.. Thank you thank you thank you!
I loooooove rusaries by the way.. Their material is so good.. I've never seen it in real life, But it totally doesn't show anything :) (Isn't it that big thing? right?)
People usually always think I'm Iranian :)

And these shoroot are what I'd love to go by..
In Canada, I CAN NOT wear the abaya or the isdal.. Ah, as for isdal, I bought one & it's material was, you know.. Even worse in wind.. But yeah, the iranian isdaal that I see on T.V. looks to me THE BEST.. WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ONE..
By the way, I own a niqaab.. And went out with it to souqs when I had to go alone.. It felt HEAVENLY..
Pray for me mass.. And for all the sisters..
The only thing I wanted to reach by this post is:
I mean, someone might propose to me with the best deen and akhlaaq & I miss seeing that 'cuz of what he wore or something.. And miss the opportunity of having him, whilst whatever it is that put me off from him can be easily fixed together by US (when we become 1)..
And same for you, you can reject anyone without BLACK & internally all she needed was YOU to take her by the hand & lead a road to heaven together with her..
Don't miss opportunities brothers and sisters..
I've dealt personally with many sisters of aaaaaaaaaall types, & by Allah each & everyone has khair inside of her..
We gotta get beyond the veils in our hearts before getting beyond the outer veil..
My heart goes out to all the striving sisters & brothers & my prayers are always there for them to see.. to really SEE..
Never let go of your principles, but try to see & don't put on the blindfolds..

LuLu...! said...

U NERDS...!!!

sara said...

Meen 'asal?

meen sukkar?




LuLu...! said...

logloooooooooooooooooooog :D

sa7?? :$

sara said...

and the winner iiiiiiiiiiis:

loglog :D

MASS said...

the labels are there.. its okay by me when such folks are not hostile towards more conservative folks. but when they do become heavily so.. then they arent my cup of chai people in general... I have all sorts of friends from different views.. my bodybuilding buddy is Sufi we get a long VERY WELL alhamdullelah..

oh well I just have to admit that I am niqab and abya fetish!

but am still open to other sisters, provided they willing to listen of course.

sara said...

May Allah grant you the pious sister who'll be a road to heaven for you.. Amen.

Hassy said...

Thanks for the insighful post, I enjoyed reading the discussions.I believe we make our jugdments firstly based on the outer appearence, hence a sister with modest clothing is highly respected.Seriously, you may have the best manners but what good will it do to you when you are disobeying Allah by not observing the proper hijab? Also there is a level of modesty that is required and cannot be overlooked, many sisters are just ignorant and don't know the requirements of the hijab and I agree that we shouldn't label them as immodest or just bad girls.
Anyway I am not trying to get anywhere sara, I don't think we disagree on anything so I'll peace out.

UMMBLOG, my aroosa I cant wait to read your posts,you're name rocks!

sara said...


hala wAllah :) hala :D
Totally agree :)
Thank you!

And regarding ummblog, let's see what the aroosa will bring along :D

Anonymous said...

Rusari is like a really big scarf which extends downwards to cover the body, including arms. Somthing like superman's red thingy he tied on his back, only bigger and tied to the top of the head... Err... :P The example got a lil confusing didn't it? :P

sara said...

No no, it's the one I meant.. I LOOOOOOOOVE THAT!

Thanks for explaining Stinger :)