Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Invisible things..

My eyes were diagnosed with a vitreous body degeneration a couple of months ago.. Sweet Dr. G told me that it's not an issue really, & has no cure.. Special eye drops are used, but don't really have a strong effect.. This degeneration is basically something like very thin fibers that I see that are located in the vitreous body.. The vitreous body is supposed to be 100% transparent.. But for me, it's not that crystal clear.. My friend cutely said: "that's cool soso, you see things we don't see.." :) It's cute the way she put it down for me.. "I see things you guys don't see.. la la la la la na na na na na.." Literally, if I look up (at the hanging clock, sky etc.) for a while, then switch my eye-sight to a lower level, or look at a side & then switch to another, I see small hairs flying/passing quickly.. It's as if tiny things are floating in my eyes.. Have you ever felt like you are different than the rest of the world & no one ever is like you? That's how I've always felt.. ALWAYS.. Not in a sense of I'm 'better' or 'worse'.. Just different.. Metaphorically, I do see things (no spooky ghosts here, don't you start).. I do feel things.. I do sense all the freaking time.. And it's bad.. It's tiring.. It's exhausting.. People like myself, are constantly frustrated (if there's any).. It's the invisible things that give me the hardest time.. It's the intangible things that truly have the strongest impact on my weak heart.. My very weak heart.. & I can't believe that while baba & mama know of my weak heart's condition, they're still up for leaving me for three weeks.. How dare you guys do this to me?! Thinking of you leaving & going so far away is almost suffocating me.. When you go out for sometime, I feel like a wingless mute humming bird.. I wish I could nap & wake up to find you back here.. Please go & come back as quickly as possible.. I love you two more than me.. Can't stand the thought of you being so far away.. Let's change this subject (that I try to avoid but can't).. Umm.. yeah, the invisible things.. I'd like to thank you Dr. G for figuring out my special abilities ;) And oh, according to my "seeing the invisible" ability, I saw your true genuine care for others the way that they've never did.. And I'd like to thank you on behalf of all those blind careless beings.. You're actually one of the few people that I found to be sincerely caring.. CARING.. CARING.. The lost word in all our dictionaries.. Caring.. I looked it up under the C list, but nothing! I'd like to protest here:
Give us back the right dictionaries,
or you'll have no obituaries..
Who's up for the protest?


nuh ibn zbigniew gondek said...

As salaam alaikum.

Wow... this is a very dense piece to read --I am having a tough time fully wrapping my head around it.

Thanks for sharing.

nuh ibn

sara said...

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuHu,


But does this mean you're not joining the protest? :(

Gold said...

lol.. what protest?

The piece you wrote sounds like me a couple o years ago trying to climb my way up the impressive ladder of human nature, mumbling online all the time with people about the way i feel things, knowledge being placed into my head about things that i have never experienced yet i know every detail about.. intuitions and supernatural nose for things that are hidden and invisible..


Giving way for the invisible to sort of take over the visible, or become a judgment platform for the tangible has proven - with me at least - to be wrong.. It took months and maybe years to prove itself but one has to learn the lesson to gain knowledge..

But it sure is something to be enjoyed, and something to thank Allah for.. this feeling of the invisible is in my blood now, can't live without it although it might be dearly frustrating..

jeez I'll make another blog post about this.. see u there.. :D

sara said...

It is dearly frustrating.. But makes sense to me (not enjoyable though!).. But not a sense of taking over the visible.. Nope..

Waiting for the post :)