Monday, January 14, 2008

Spur of the moment..

(picture's source)

This horrible thing just happened a few minutes ago.. Horrible thing.. Okay.. I was waiting for the elevator to come & take me to the ground floor.. And as soon as the elevator’s doors opened, I thought there was no one in.. So I rushed in & to my surprise, I found this man, with one really bulging eye that looked so scary.. It was as if it was a plastic eye or something.. It was so frightening to me.. So I froze up, put my hand on my heart & just freaked out.. After I realized my terrible reaction, I HATED MYSELF SO MUCH THAT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! So I got in & apologized.. Just said “sorry..”.. He said “sorry for scaring you..”.. I really wanted to cry.. I smiled as he left the elevator & kept a sad face on until now :(

I’m such a mean person :(

And I’m so sorry :(

Very sorry :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I am the mother of two boys. When my youngest was born with a cleft lip and palate, I went through a period of change. I began to realize that everything I had been conditioned to believe about beauty was wrong. There is so much more to a person than his or her allotment of conventional beauty. There is a whole world of beauty that isn't about symmetry. My message to you? Look deeper. You'll see it in the curl of a smile, the glint of an eye, the outstretched arm of a child to his father. There is Life in Beauty and Beauty in Life." ~ Wynona Robinson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12 comments:

Qwaider قويدر said...

Sometimes we can't control our emotions. Good people will understand.

Don't be too hard on yourself. He apparently forgave you. Time to forgive yourself

sara said...

No matter how hard I will be on myself, it won't bring that moment back.. There is no way to fix this :(

And no matter how much he forgives me, he'll always know that HE SCARED ME :( And that's really sad to think of!

Imagine I looked that way, how would I feel when people freak out when seeing me?

I'm sorry :(

Simply Me said...

it's the first time for me here.. :) and i like it.. it's the first look that might be uncontrollable, and this is forgiven.. don't be too hard on yourself..

sara said...

Welcome to my world D :)

Yes, that's actually a good way to look at it :)

Hey, you know what? it makes sense! First look should be forgiven :)

You eased my pain :D

Thank you D!

sara said...

But I still feel bad for him :(

But I shouldn't.. As he should be content with whatever comes his way..

But again, the world we live in isn't really compasionate.. Nor understanding.. Nor uses the right scales :(

*sigh*

sara said...

I just hope I don't ever react this way to anything I see, no matter how scared I get..

Hope I get to control my switches more (right Qwaider?)

:)

Amr said...

That same situation happend with me some years ago, i met some firends who were standing with other ppl i don't know, and i started to hand-shake every one, at the end there was that man with half an arm, when he spread his half right hand i was frozen for a while and i was a fraid for a while to spread my hand too :(, the whole situation took 2 seconds exactly, but i felt like they were 2 years, i said sorry, and he smily said "never mind", and i felt terrible afterwards :(.

I have no reason to do what i did, but as if i was unconscious when i did that.

May Allah forgive us all.

sara said...

:( I know exactly what you mean by those two seconds feeling like eternity..

May they forgive us.. Amen.

Maryam said...

Thats okay Sara,

I agree you must be feeling so sorry for him and must be really angry over yourselves. But thats okay Sara, ask forgiveness before Allah, and you will be guilt free inshallah.

stinger said...

Man. I wonder if you would do the same to me if you get to look at me. :(

Gold said...

as you said its not a very compassionate world so one shouldn't feel so sorry for every person he meets down the street, or else you won't have time for anything else in the whole world..

The thing is that this man might be completely adapting to how he looks, and his current state is ok with him. Maybe he didn't rethink this situation at all once you lest the domain of his eye-sight..

Allah has His ways to bring his mercy into the hearts of those who are tested by Him.. or else He wouldn't be merciful

That guy is ok inshaAllah, and so you should be :)

Cheers

sara said...

maryam,
I'm sure God knows what's in my heart :)

stinger,
hope not..

gold (i don't really like calling you gold, "gold inside" maybe?),
"one shouldn't feel so sorry for every person he meets down the street" Guess what? I do & it is taking my whole time!
"Allah has His ways to bring his mercy into the hearts of those who are tested by Him.. or else He wouldn't be merciful" How true!


wth respect,