Sama :)

When did you last let your heart decide? I feel older today! And no, it ain’t my birthday or even close to that.. Maybe ‘cuz it’s been quite some time since I last sang with sis using our hairbrushes as our microphones, maybe? Maybe that’s why! Or maybe ‘cuz it’s been a while since I last drove so fast & raced.. Or since I crazily read a book, or pigged out, like really pigged out.. Been a while.. You see, a lot of the choices I make in my life are fully heartedly-based.. Rarely do I go logically.. I know that it doesn’t really make sense, but guess what, it works for me! Just like magic! Everyone walks their own path and only theirs.. No one walks anyone’s path.. So I can’t ever say how did I get here or what am I doing or what am I good for, ‘cuz no one can answer that except my very own self.. But what if I don’t know? Who’s this sad girl? Empty? What am I good for? I truly don’t know! Missing a lotta pieces of me.. Feel chattered as if I got shredded and spread all over the continents.. There’s this lump I feel in my throat suffocating me nowadays, is it just a feeling, don’t really know..

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Miss my school kids & my lovely cousins so much & can’t believe I missed the delivery of their newest freshly heaven-made: SAMA :D Welcome to earth sweetie :) Kids here are so un-kidish, if I may say.. Unfortunately lost their innocence with their birth.. How’s my kiddo gonna be like, look like, act like, walk like, breathe like, sing like, cry like, talk like, smell like, dance like, sleep like, eat like, laugh like? Is it a he or a she? Am I gonna be a good mommy? “Is this real life?”.. Sama is a beautiful girl’s name right? It means sky in Arabic.. Any suggestions for special girls/boys names? Goodness Gracious!
…………….
Where would you wanna be right now? With who? Doing what? I think that it’d be a huge blessing if you can make it come true.. I can’t for now.. And for a while.. Is it okay if I breathe heavily for a long while, or will it make me sick?

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By the way, I MADE IT! Before marriage, I had this wish.. It’s to make sure that whenever I do the laundry, I’d manage to miraculously bring together each pair of socks safely back to the drawer & to never split them apart & lose any, AND IT WORKED MY DEAR SISTAS :D I was close to losing one of a pair, but thankfully found it :D Don’t laugh at me, that’s hard work, ain’t it? ;) I love my washing machine, thanks for it knighty :D

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Still know nothing about cooking, & secretly fear the trial.. Dunno why.. Maybe my fear of a disappointment beats the will to risk, dunno.. Thankfully still have my charm with dips ;) Any advice would be more than welcomed :)

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What is it that people love about Egypt so much, I’d really like to know, it might make my life more peaceful.. The thing that is uniquely amazing here is how late the world goes around.. You can almost find all places open really late (late for me) & everyone up working their hearts out.. The bad part about that though is that it encourages staying up late instead of finishing up early and enjoying being home at night.. Over here, you can’t enjoy almost any outing during the day..

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I miss mom’s hands so much, what do I do about that? I stare at my hands a lot to see if they’ll look someday any mommyish, but I see nothing of that! There’s this thing about mama’s hands that’s so mommy like, Gosh how I love ‘em.. Bless your hands & all of you mommy, I love you & pray to God I’d someday be close to how amazing you are, I LOVE YOU!

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How can a city not have a video/DVD store? Huh? No place here to rent movies from! How fun! People here dunno the joy of that! Egyptians: You’re missing a lot!

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I love December! It’s never dark where I come from; as it always begins with our national day, U.A.E.. Lights & fireworks everywhere aaaaaaaaall the way until new years.. Happy national day U.A.E.ians :D

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Do you know that the Nile River is one of paradise’s rivers? How come! I wonder..

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More info on Egyptians, do you know that they give newlyweds money? Does this go on in other countries as well? Dunno why it feels weird, despite the fact that logically it’s supposed to be helpful .. Dunno!

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Imagine all the phones of the world die out today, can you continue living?

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Enough talking :$
Peace out :)

LYKYS

" I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart).. I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling).. I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet).. I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true).. And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you.. Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart......

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) "
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~ By E. E. Cummings ~

My Sunlight :)

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You Are My Sunlight :)

My fears you always fight..

May you live longer & longer in bliss,

& I'd get to your forehead & hands to kiss..

Miss your smell, your face, your hands, your clothes,

And everything you touch & that your hand folds..

Bless you Mommy today & everyday,

& wish I was there to wish you in person today :')

* y o u r s *

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Giving one's self wouldn't be,

anything but being free :)

With your deep black eyes I see,

& into your soul I flee :)

In my heart, I'd carry you,

& most lovingly, would give you me :)

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~ By MISS sara on the 17th of August, 2009 at 6:14 PM ~

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That was Miss Sara Hamdy’s written words that came from a dream.. It was a dream that she’s painted over a year ago after meeting her dashing prince under the beautiful skies along with her lovely parents’ prayers & hopes of a lovely new life for her.. She met him & started dreaming.. Dreaming of a new her that existed with him, and only him.. The man of her dreams.. Her knightiest knight.. Prince charming.. The first & last man who’s given her butterflies in her tummy.. The one & only who’s light shone so bright for her to see & feel.. So she dreamt.. And wrote a few words, along with a picture that spoke a thousand dreams.. A thousand wishes.. And they were saved.. In the drafts of her very inner self.. And after a few days, weeks, months & a long year that seemed like years, she met him again.. And this time for the eternal bond.. For the Holy unity Of souls, hearts, minds & bodies..

Dear Sisters & brothers,
Y-E-S—I—A-M—M-A-R-R-I-E-D, TO KNIGHTY, WHO TOOK HEARTY, AND WILL FOREVER BE LIGHTY :)
I’m in a different continent now, in a different country, a different city, where people speak a different language, and look different.. I’d like to take a moment and thank and show deeply sincere gratitude to tens and tens of people.. Thanking God is thanking them.. ALHAMDULILLAH :) I’ll go from the oldest to the youngest..

I’d like to start with Diggo though, my dearest grandpa.. Who has passed ON and is no longer physically between us, but he’s always here, with his words, actions, love & very deep warm heart.. Thank you Diggo for showing me what love can do.. I’m married now & truly wish you would have met him, you’d surely love him.. He reminds me of you Diggo.. Thank you Diggo.. For wanting to see me in that white dress.. I wore it.. And remembered you.. And hoped you’d be proud of me, are you? Love you so much :)

My Tetas, my lovely grandmothers.. Thanks for sticking with me & working so hard in your uniquely old smart ways in working things out whenever they got stuck ;) It worked my dear Grannies, IT DID :D Thank you very much :) :)

Uncle S. :) Thank you for praying for me all through it & always willing to help.. Taunt M. thanks for all the advice.. Love you :)

Daddy, Baba, Sahby, Mohammed Hamdy Ya Obaha, my teacher, my friend, the One who’s always got our backs, the princesses maker, the sweetest man & my forever strongest hero.. Baba.. Dad.. Dahry.. Baba, remember.. Remember.. Remember all your favors.. Remember all you’ve done for me? Of course you won’t remember, ‘cuz they’re way too much to count.. I can’t either, ‘cuz they started before my birth.. Baba, oh Baba.. The way you watch after my every step.. The way you run for me.. The way you carry me, with all my faults & flaws.. The way you forgive me.. The way you love me.. The way you grant me security.. The way you protect me.. The way you hunt my fears down.. The way you fight for me.. The way you struggle for me.. All your sleepless nights.. All your worry.. All your hard work.. All your plans.. All your dreams.. All your risks.. All your care.. Care for the tiny things before the big ones.. Baba, you’re the best dad ever.. My friends have always envied me for you, did I tell you that? They always wished their dads were like you.. Daddy, remember when you used to help me with my studies, I used to stare at your face a lot and not hear you out :$ As small as your eyes are, as self-explanatory and sharp.. Did I tell you how much I love your handwriting? In both Arabic & English! You’re so accurate and precise in everything you do, I truly wish when we have a kid, they’d be like you! Love your taps on my shoulder & my back.. Love your voice reciting Qur’an trying always to perfect the words & the sounds.. Thank you for trying so hard to grant me a peaceful life & protecting me from everything, including my crazy-very-self! Thank you dad for being my baba, and I’m always glad to be sarooret baba.. Baba, love you more than you know.. Thank you for holding my hand so tight & taking me to the other side.. Be well dad, & may you always stay strong as you always are, amen..
Baba habeeby Allah yekhaleeh,
Kattar riz’o wy yenageeh,
Gably aroosa wy akhoya hosan,
Shee ya hosan,
Orosy ya aroosa,
Orosy ya aroosa :’)

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ottet Elmeatateen Kullohom, My very inner sara, my mirror, my monitor, blood of my blood, self of myself, my bestest friend, my cushion, my coziest corner, my pencil, my words, my eyes, the collector of my dreams, the most beautiful voice, the softest heart, the deepest eyes, the smartest woman, the quickest rescuer, the safest guide, the brightest star, the funniest girl, the truest faith, TRUE EMAN, the most truthful tongue, the sincerest sister, the best daughter, the cutest wife, the best mom, the trust worthiest friend, the honorable Muslim woman, MOM! Mama, I don’t know how to thank you! After getting married mom, I started seeing more.. Seeing how great you are.. How do you do this? How do you do it all perfectly good like that! You are a PEACE of heaven mama.. You’re the warmest softest woman & the strongest ever! Your hands are magic & your eyes are an epic! Mom, I wish I can be you, but that’s impossible! How will I be a million things all at once like you, I can hardly find me! Know what Mom, living in the place you came from tells me a lot about you.. It’s pretty amazing how you flew all across the world & still belong here.. You’re so loyal mommy! Mom, I’m so proud of you, your journey & your achievements.. Wish you’re proud of me too.. Wish I’m close to what you wished for me to be.. To you I dedicate my whole life mama.. I’m all yours habebty.. All yours.. Wish I can carry you forever & wipe away all of your tears, fears & hard work of them long years.. Bless your transparent soul, pure heart, always giving mind, & chaste body.. Thank you for carrying me all through them years.. Thank you for giving me all the time.. I love, love, love you mama :)
Soosa soosa soosa,
Soosa kaf aroosa,
Soosa welly yesa’af,
Yestahil minnik boosa :’)

Kabooka, A. & Janjoony……… Thank you so much for all the love & support.. Thank you for the prayers & care.. Thank you for always being there, by actions, words & thoughts.. You define “henneya”, warmth & unconditional love.. Thank you for everything.. I love you three so much, & pray your fourth member would arrive very soon, safe & sound, amen :)

Khalo A., P., Amoona & Noony :) :) :) :) Just saying your names, a smile is drawn right away :D You four are the joy of this big family.. You are a great example of ease & simplicity.. I truly wish our new home would carry those meanings that you’ve proved to the world, are the secret of joy! Thank you for sticking with me through it all.. Thank you for being so close through the hardest times, especially with Mom.. Do you know that she used to truly smile whenever you guys were there? May you always shine with your happiness & smile in bliss all through the years, amen :)

Adwarica :’) Bro, I miss you! I can’t believe I made it when you weren’t there! I told everyone NO WAY without bro.. He has to stand there & hold my hand.. I should never say never bro.. I learnt it the hard way! Thank you for being “honestly” supportive through it ;) You were with me, deep in my heart, through every second.. Can you believe all this happened! Can you believe your sasa is married! Thanks for all the white dress hunts :) remember? Thanks for giving me the best times this winter.. Finally we ice-skated under the dark blue sky! Love it with you bro, like we always have! Sorry for cutting your finger earlier, you know I love you :$ Bro, THANK YOU for taking care of me, & my weak heart through it, love you Adwarica :)

Sis, Luly, Dolly, Lo’lo’atilkhaleeeeeeeeej :’) I miss you sweety.. I miss you Ukhty! Where do I begin Lulullll? Where? You took all my blues! You heard me through it all.. Through all the KHORROR ;) My cries, my laughs, my anger, my downfalls, my aaaaaall! Whether it’s early morning when you hated to talk, hear, or anything, or late night when you were so dead! You shared it all, from scratch all the way to the graduation day.. Dehket…. Hmmm… Dehket alby ;P Thank you for being (& giving me) the best pillow ever! Thank you for telling me I looked nice when I was a ghost! Thank you for the “heart of the ocean” Love you sis.. You’re like my arm, or an eye of both eyes (not both ;)).. Yo yo yo, no tears, yeah? I LOVE YOU & I’ll see you sooner than we both know, God be willing.. Until then, know that you are the best baby sis in the whole wide world :) LYKYS :D :D

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Puddingyyyyyyyyyyyy, my li’l maaaaaaaaaaan, the most handsom guy in the crowds, AND YOU KNOW IT ;) Abeteeta, your face is the best to look at! I swear it pudding, your words are always wise and always make sense.. Can you believe that you actually took care of me with your short very sweet words! Whoever is gonna be your wife is one lucky woman ;) Sorry for not being the best sis all the time.. I love you so much, you’re my bro, my son, & my best li’l guy ever :D Can’t wait for you to take me and cruise around so fast, faster than fast & furious.. Our superman :D You’re the best! I LOVE YOU HANDSOM ;) *abigkissnomatterhowmuchyouhateit:P*

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School, kids, my sweet H. sister! I gave you guys some hard time, eh? I pray for a quick ring flying to your finger dear H. & before you know it, a baby that’s as cute as you are, amen :) And all the single girls out there.. Thank you for being there my friend.. You’re the sweetest :) Ghubzy, the woman with the green peas, Hudees, Dearest Ara, F.Z., S.S., H.Umm elbanat, L.M.S., N.D., & aaaaaaaaall my ladies out there, THANKS A MILLION! Love y’all :D

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And Hubby oh Hubby……. Thank you for being you, for finding me, for loving me, for taking me as I am & working so hard to bring US to life & keep US safe.. Thank you for fighting against all the odds.. For climbing all the mountains.. For winning over the storms.. For never giving up on US.. You’re the best pilot ever.. Thanks for loving all my people & making us all grow and adding to our family a new family.. Thanks for taking care of me more than I am.. You are the best gift ever.. The best of my present, my past & my future.. May God bless you always & keep you safe from all harm, amen.. May I be to you as you want me to.. May our life together add to this world a new meaning.. May love be our only guide & peace be what we’re all about.. Thank you for everything knighty :’)

I LOVE YOU :) *THF*

And hey, BUT ONE SPEAK ;)

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With all my love,

Mrs. Sara Hamdy

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P.S. Dad, Mom & Khalo Khalo Khalo thank you.. For everything you’ve done for us all, for me, and especially for this past year.. I’m forever grateful.. Thank you for appreciating my words, & bringing this blog to life.. I love you :’)

w o r d s l i k e s w o r d s

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A broken promise.. A broken promise broke me to pieces.. A broken promise.. A broken word.. A word that only consisted of letters.. Letters that weigh absolutely nothing.. And to me they were everything.. I was clinging to words, can you believe that? Clinging to words that took me higher and then other words came and smashed me into the lowest rock.. I was clinging to words! Blindly trusting.. Blindly believing.. Blindly seeing the rainbows and the flowing river of purity.. Purity of heart and mind.. Purity of soul and body.. I was flying over on a cloud passing all of them ugly scenes.. Blocking my ears when it came to angry noises.. Blocking my eyes when it came to scary darkness.. Maybe it’s me.. Maybe I was selfish.. Maybe I painted picture perfect when there were no colors.. How can you paint with no colors! What am I but a dot in this world.. A dot that thought of changing the world.. Of growing some seeds.. Of drawing some smiles.. All I did was the opposite.. Never finished anything.. Never gave all I had.. Never made any difference.. I only smelled the flowers and never took care of any.. I only took.. I.. I.. I.. I am nothing and did nothing and God told me that I’m here to fix, and all I do is ruin.. I ruined me.. The me that God’s given me! Can’t even know me anymore.. I lost me and lost my sight.. It’s pitch black now.. I’m sorry God.. I’m sorry my dear lovely people.. Sorry for all of this.. Sorry for everything.. I love you all and I’m so deeply sorry.. I know sorry is a five lettered word, but words are all I got, and if the whole wide world gives up on words, I won’t! A word is always a word, even if it weighs nothing.. Let’s live on God’s Promise, and pray we deserve it, amen!

p r e t e n d ?

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~ s a f e t y ~

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Dreams, prayers, hopes, plans, pleads, wishes, fears, tears, cries, screams..... I'm down on my knees, asking You to please, please, please, guide me.. Teach me.. Help me.. Keep us safe.. Fill our selves with beauty.. Our hearts with love.. Our minds with peace.. Fill our roads with tranquility & our strings with hope.. Strengthen our walls & soften our walks.. Keep us safe.. Safe.. Please keep us safe......

~ a m a n a h ~

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Dad:
"Take care of her.."
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Cousin:
"She's amanah uncle.."
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The Cold Shoulder :(

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“I don’t want to hurt your feelings miss, but I love you less today..” F. said..

OUCH! That hurts! But before anything, it has to be me, right? It can’t be out of the blues.. Maybe I was too harsh, or or or.. It can’t just happen like that..

~

At a lotta times, we see people giving us their cold shoulder for a reason or another, and it does hurt a little and sometimes much.. But right there and then, we need to think of what WE did, ‘cuz I’m sure we play a big part of that.. So I hope I can make it up to F. and make him love me at least as he used to, will I? Don't want to sing "don't love you know more" now :(

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Earlier this week, I asked them to write letters to their moms thanking them for a special thing that they’ve done for them.. And here’s what F. asked me: “Miss, when your mom puts you in her stomach, she carries you for nine months or nine weeks?” :D How do they perceive time! And N. said: "This is hard, everything mom does is very very special..".. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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And oh oh, I can’t go without this one, R., cute li’l miss R :D We played the scattered words game, and I asked each one to write their favorite English word down and color it.. I got a lotta “love”, “kindness”, "sport" “mom”, but R. aaaaaaaahhh, she wrote “bean”! haha! Why would a tiny bean make one’s favorite word!

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Kids <3

Seek The Everlasting Mercy :)

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"And I don’t want the world to see me,
‘Cuz I don’t think that they’d understand..
When everything is made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.."

~ Iris ~

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Belonging to God means a lot to me.. Knowing that from Him I come & to Him is my return makes me feel calm at the end of all of them rough days.. Knowing that He knows me well, and that I don’t have to explain me to Him, makes it much easier to carry on breathing.. At a lotta times, I see all the lights going down, and right at those very times, I try to focus and remember, that He’s the source of Light.. All light.. He’s Light.. Everlasting Light..
Ever
las
ting
!
Every day, I take new steps.. And with all the stumbles and falls, I hold on to some certainties, all my way long.. One reminds me that He’s totally Aware of it all.. Another is that His Mercy always surrounds me and is way beyond my grasp.. And those very beliefs make me see the flowers on the side of this busy road.. They make me smell the sweetness of the fresh bread before even getting to the bakery.. They make me hear the birds sing despite all of them noisy horns.. They set me free of all ties.. They’re just like a ribbon tied around my heart, keeping it from breaking.. Pulling me together in one piece.. One piece eventually.. Breathing in and out miraculously into a soul that has no place.. No color or face.. One that He only Sees and Knows, more than I myself do.. And I still wonder, is it a good piece, good enough for everything.. Good enough for walking here.. Good enough for this existence.. This crazy existence that roars and sleeps all at once.. I wonder.. You see....... Dunno.. What do you see? Do you see you? Yes you? Yourself? Do you see me? Do you see them? What do you see? I see beauty.. I do! In the midst of this smoke, I see beauty whenever I wanna see it.. Look around.. To what’s up.. Can you see that? Yes, it’s the sky.. The S K Y :) Reach out, 'cuz the world is bigger than you only if you don’t let it all in.. Take it in, inhale it, and you will become larger than life itself.. You are a living miracle.. So take your time, look and see, smell the flowers, and enjoy the life that you’ve been granted, ‘cuz you’ll live it only once :) God’s Beauty lies within our very selves, doesn’t it :)

"Choux Pastry Heart"

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Wanna know why they wrap those buckets around the tree trunks or hang them from the tree branches? And who does it? Always wondered!

It's always nice to start my day with the ocean's sight.. Breathing it all in with each day's different smell.. Wondering what the day has for me in store as I sip over and over again the sweetened coffee flavor that puts me through the days.. Thinking of what has passed and yet to come, as I stand still, dreaming of uniting the best of yesterday and today in tomorrow..

With fast steps, that turn to leaps, I float over those moments that make it almost impossible to breathe.. I run back and forth thinking of how to reach that 'pausing' mode that would stop it all for a second.. Just one single moment.. And when that moment comes, I catch my breath, and continue with my walk, run, life......

It's pretty amazing how we all breathe differently.. It's all breathing I know, but differs.. Same air, yes.. But different taste for each soul to inhale.. I sometimes wonder, where exactly is my heart.. It sank so many times! If that's right, then what's that noise?! Is it my heartbeats, or just some beeps..

Goldy told me to "expect the unexpected" today, and a minute later he scared me to death with a scream from behind the door and said: "Didn't I tell you miss to expect the unexpected?" :) They always teach me those li'l ones! Treat me like a student.. It's me :$ I always sit in their seats and ask them to go "up there" and be "the teacher".. If I had a say in this, I'd say we're all teachers and learners.. We'll never get it all.. We won't.. And I truly believe that in our hunts, we need to be fairly tranquil & content, for it will help make the hunt more fun and the goals tastier :)

Peace out to all of you hunters out there, and especially my Hunt Club and Riverside folks ;)

(: Bless your hearts :)

s e r u t r a p e d

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Dad's told me it's the sign to the airport,

Facing up is straight, & bending means to the right..

It's the wheels of a suitcase,

And the beats of a heart race..

Life always on the run,

Sometimes down & sometimes fun..

You can't beat the cold,

Nor keep the warmth on one fold..

But if you look deep deep down,

You'll find a cold silent home with no sound..

Always waiting for others to fill it,

And never bearing being alone in it..

With the hundreds surrounding us,

Tears still find us and throw us to a Russ..

Gosh, how I want to come home,

And never ever be alone......

R I D E A U < 3

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Can't sleep! I truly know now how bad it is for those who suffer from insomnia, what a pain! Sleeping is a big blessing that we easily take for granted! Dear God!

On my way to class this morning, surrounded with all the kids waiting for me to unlock the door, we found a dead bird right in front of the classroom's door.. The kids froze there, and started thinking of what made this poor birdie die.. Was it another bird, or did it fall, break its wing and found no help...... And of the cutest was li'l Z., she said, "maybe it's just sleeping", she said it with all the hope in the world to be true.. However, it was found that it has been dead for quite some time.. As it was buried away, the kids couldn't stop thinking of its family and where they think the bird is and so forth..

It's such a great blessing for one to be surrounded by kids.. They're so unbelievably caring.. If they're comfortable in their shoes, they'd show you the world in a completely different way.. If I could, I'd absolutely choose nothing else in this world than being with them li'l angels :)

Hours after that, while taking off and starting the car to fly back home, I found a poor young girl walking back home right under the hot Abu Dhabian sun.. Just opened the window to offer her a ride, and she just jumped in! And then I asked her where her home is, she looked confused & said "Just go straight!".. Went straight ahead, and she just went blank! "Where's home hun?", she said, "It's close.. I walk home everyday with my brother and don't exactly concentrate on the way, I leave the direction for him to lead.. And today he fell sick and couldn't make it to school..".......! And then it just hit me.. "THE SAFE ZONE".. When you feel safe, you, without knowing, let your guards down.. And it's the best feeling in the world.. Feeling safe.. Knowing that you can count on another.. Knowing that everything is alright just 'cuz they're there......

And with all the time I've spent living this life, I could tell you right now that nothing beats that feeling.. Ever! But I still see some whom are lost and mixed up.. Some think it comes with more contacts on your phone.. Or with more pleasures to fulfill.. All I know for sure is that it only comes with the happiness of others! In the peaceful life that we all dream of, that supposedly starts with "Assalamu alaikum".. The global greeting of peace.. Only if we mean it every time we say it.. Only if we take the time saying it and truly praying for it.. Only if we don't mix things up.. Only if..........

Rest in peace birdie.. And rest in peace every thing under and on this Earth.. This Earth.. This Earth.. The bearer of millions of souls.. The secret that lies within.. The green & blue ball, filled with great wonders for all.. The unsolved mystery.. The witness of all that passed and yet to come.. The land that connects us all.. That we all touch together with our foreheads and sometimes walk on gently (as asked to) and sometimes not.. The patient carrier of our mess ups.. The song that we all sing everyday..

May we all rest in peace.. May we all have Z.'s cute heart & always hope for the best.. Amen :)

Deliquesce :)

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It feels like a slush out here.. Too cold & crispy.. The wind blows you & the ice underneath slides you by.. Yes, you feel like a stranger, but somehow belonging.. Maybe 'cuz of the warmth of your loved ones that helps you glide through.. It's so good to be here with you brohy, I don't know from where to begin.. Crying on your shoulder.. Mourning the biggest loss of our lives.. Giggling until the night throws its veil on us.. Celebrating the new me with you.. Catching up on the past long long months.. All its grief & joy.. All its blooms & falls.. Ah, it's so good to be here with you :') I haven't loosened up in quite a while.. Haven't let go of.. of.. of everything like that.. With you it's all easier, lighter, & way way older; bringing the old me back.... Have I changed? Grown older maybe? Don't want to ask you, 'cuz I want you to see me like you always did.. I know time changes things, but it never changed us, how mighty are we! I want to always see this spark in your eyes :) Bless your heart lovey <3

Where's my mug?

What's the matter with me, been so hooked on John Mayer's lyrics lately! The wordings just hit me like that! WoW!
So, a colleague of mine was telling me

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today about how bad she feels for not holding God's Book for once since the holy month of Ramadan.. She misses "God" she says, and needs someone to help her with that.. On our daily conscience and sub-conscience search of God, we seek tranquility, but sometimes, we stumble on the way.. No matter how firm we are, we do fall back every now & then.. However, we should have faith in "rolling back on".. If we cry over our fall, we'll never rise up, or so I believe.. Do we really know ourselves? I surprise myself sometimes.. Are we easily read, or special magnifiers are needed for that...... On my (exam) correction process now, I realized that I could tell who's paper it is without reading their names! So if a few scribbles tell who one is, why can't we sometimes read ourselves?

(: Peace out :)

*Sprained Ankle*

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Piece of advice: When you sprain your ankle, please don't run! Or you'll end up weaker than you already are! Trust me we are so powerless, it's not even funny!

Two days ago, someone lost their temper so bad & flared up.. I couldn't control the situation and was very upset.. Don't you think it's unfair to "us" before others when loosing it? Why do we have to make ourselves smaller than we already are?

Hold

it

please

'cuz

nothing

and

I

repeat:

NOTHING

is

worth

making

fools

of

ourselves

for!

18 / 7

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~

So I was thinking, I sleep around 6 hours everyday, and the rest 18 hours are NEVER enough, so why is that? Will I ever live a day without being rushed into doing every single thing? Is it me or the time? God guys, we'll be asked for each moment, are we doing good enough? Are we good enough? For life? I wonder......

(: Blessed Friday to y'all :)

"Listen"

This string man's secret lies here ;)

Blessed for teaching <3

(picture's source)

~

What would you do when Booboo tells you he's forgotten his school bag back at home, laughs & starts singing? What would you do when cute li'l R. writes you a "thank you for nothing" note? What would you do when Mo paints you a "sunshine"?

You should humble down & praise your Lord :D

Your student-teacher,

miss sara <3

~ possessives ~

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~

Second year in a row teaching them how to use them possessive nouns.. And man am I lost! I get so lost in between those apostrophes and Ss; for what do we possess? Can anyone answer that? Tell me one thing that you possess?

And tell me why do I miss my kitty?

And why are roses so pretty?

Why are distances so big?

And how can one fix a broken rig?

How would I know it's okay?

And why do we have to be so far away?

Where can togetherness be found?

And when will it be peaceful with no sound?

When will Earth stop roaring?

And when will people start caring?

How will hearts come to life?

And why are we scared to fall in love?

When will we stop spinning around?

And why do we all know how to hound?

When will I meet with my true felicity?

And please answer knighty; he's asking: "what is gravity?"

~

S i n g i n g :

"Gravity, is working against me,

And gravity, wants to bring me down..

Oh I'll never know, what makes this man,

With all the love, that his heart can stand,

Dream of ways, to throw it all away..

Oh twice as much, ain't twice as good,

And can't sustain, like one half could,

It's wanting more, that's gonna send me to my knees..

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me,

Oh gravity, has taken better men than me,

Now how can that be?

Just keep me where the light is.."

~ John Mayer ~

:'(

In the eyes of who?

~

Remember Boby? I still have the honor of teaching him, benefiting & gaining more from him, than adding to him! Oh dear, how I love him! He is one of a kind! A truly unique creation of God!

Lately, I've been having issues to deal with & the worst thing about that is the way it affects me; I don't have the ability of pretending anything: I'm not fine, YOU SEE IT! And this is a nightmare if your job requires dealing with others; cuz it'll clearly affect the others that you deal with, whether you like it or not!

And as a teacher, my li'l angels have been noticing the change in me: "Miss, what's wrong?".. "Nothing honey, can't you see me smile :)".. "No miss, it's not coming from here *and they point to their hearts*".. Their vision is so clear, that it'd scare you! I hate myself for not being happy for them.. I just can't seem to give like I used to.. I've been on the edge & can't stand anything! And worst of all, distracted! Dunno where to go or what to want anymore! And through these hard times, I try hard to contain my sorrow & be me, but can't..

*sighs*

So, just now, I was going through a drop quiz that I gave the kids at the end of the week, & didn't have time to check it in school.. And after checking it I realised: I NEED TO STAY GROUNDED! I need to remember MY PURPOSE & stay focused.. And I only can know how to.. I still didn't figure that out yet, but Boby just said something that I HAD TO SHARE!

If you look at the attached photo of Boby's answers, you'll see a beauty of a lifetime.. As I said, I gave them a drop quiz, and wasn't feeling good in class, and they were upset because of that.. So I decided to block away all my negativity, and play with them.. Since we had taken Arab countries' flags, I told them get a piece of paper out & answer my questions (supposedly on flags, but those questions just came out like that!):

1. Who's the most person you love on Earth?

2. If you were to live on an island, what are the 3 things that you'd take with you?

3. If you can color the sky, what color would you pick?

4. Draw the flag of Jordan.

5. Pick: island / jungle!

6. What would you wear for the rest of your life?

7. If you have one hour left for the END OF TIME, what would you want to do?

8. Draw the flag of Bahrain.

And the kids had their mouths wide open all through that weird drop quiz and gave me the "look": She must have lost her mind.. As I was collecting their sheets, they were asking: "will this be marked", and I said I'll see ;)

And looking at Boby's answer for 1, I couldn't hold my tears! He loves me this much! What do I do then! Do I deserve his love! You see, Boby and I have always had this connection.. And lately, he came to school with all these bruises and didn't tell me why! He said "you won't bear knowing why!" But he told Miss H & she told me it was 'cuz of his dad.. He's beaten the hell out of him & had no mercy! And the reason was: for sucking his thumb while sleeping! *No words to put here!*

Anyways, moving on to number 7!!!!!!! Gosh! THIS KID IS SOMETHING, AIN'T HE! All the other kids said stuff like: "playing on the computer, praying, talking to the people I love......" But Boby said: "Be a good man for God!" He didn't say be a good man.. He said:

Be

a

good

man

for

God

How adorable is that! For God.. Not for miss sara, not for mom, not for dad, FOR GOD! Please note that this quiz took a couple of moments! I was so quick to let their hearts out and not give them a chance to think!

I'm done!

Praise The Lord for Creating you & bringing you to my life Boby <3

"Dreams of a Journey"

(picture's source)

Carl <3 Ellie

For The Love <3

G I V I N G B A C K

SHE'S NOT SCARED ;)

How can you say no!

He only likes her when she gives him cookies :(

"See you on real!!"

Respected brothers & sisters,

~

How are you all doing? I hope everyone reading this & not reading this would be feeling good today and having all good wishes and plans for 2010 :)

~

I wanted to start this year with this lovely letter written by one of my kids to daddy on his return :) I just wish we can all learn from kids! They're so tender & giving to an unbelievable extent! Their joy comes always with/for others and that on its own is a solution to many serious issues present in our world today..

~

I learned in the past couple of months how to BE WHERE I AM! Know what that means? It means wherever you are is for sure where you should be, with all your senses.. It'll make life a lot easier.. I learned that wherever I am is a lovely place, simply 'cuz it's what I got and what's in my hands.. Over-spending time in fighting this fact, or whining over it, or denying it, or acting otherwise, WILL NOT, and I repeat: WILL NOT HELP ME! I need to LOVE where I am, LIVE it and ENJOY being there.. Now I KNOW it's hard at first, but trust me, it's worth the try :)

~

I was thinking last night of how people see one another, and how hard people have been on each other and how their viewing has been coming from criticism, and only from criticism.. You know how we can go around that, when there isn't even a way to the right, left, front, or back? By using our wings! I believe each and every one of us owns a pair of wings that they can use to fly up high.. To view from up above.. To open up perspectives.. To: "SEE THINGS ON REAL!!" like li'l Ahmad said.. Seeing things "on real" is a difficult theory to practice, but again, it'll make life way easier!

~

I wish us truth.. Truth to who we are, where we choose to go & where we wanna put end to things..

~

~

T R U T H ~~~~=~~~~ F R E E D O M

~

H a p p y S e e i n g : )

~

~~~~~T~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~T
~~~~~~~~~R~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~R
~~~~~~~~~~~~~U~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~U
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~T~~~~~~~~~~~T
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~H~~~H