* Al Lateef *

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Can you tell if your heart is gentle or not? Like REALLY GENTLE or not?

One of God’s names is Al Lateef, The Ever-Discreetly Gentle.. I love love love that fact.. It brings out the subtle side of everything & shows it to my heart.. One might ask, If God Himself, with all His Power & Might, Is Gentle, why can’t the rest of us (waaaay weaker) be gentle as well? Well, I think it’s ‘cuz it takes power to be gentle! Yup.. Well, I believe that it’s not as easy as it may seem to be gentle at the heart.. It takes a lotta guidance, power, time, thinking, interacting, seeing, feeling & loving to be gentle..
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Why don’t we work a li’l harder in trying to see God as Gentle as well? I think that too can actually help us in becoming more gentle at heart.. The thing is, you rarely find a mother, teacher, or any other person in charge telling you about this lovely name belonging to Allah! Think brothers & sisters.. Think a li’l harder.. Why would He create those delicate flowers? & why would they tiny li’l things smell so good? And why make tulips so red? Why would He make life from water, while it’s colorless, odorless & tasteless? Why would the air be invisible?

On a blessed-&-a-very-lucky note, I’d like to say that Alhamdullillah I’ve got people with gentle hearts surrounding me, teaching me & guiding me through the rough days & violent nights..

~

"I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted

To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.

How free it is, you have no idea how free -

The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,

And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.

It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them

Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.

~

The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me.

Even through the gift paper I could hear them breathe

Their redness talks to my wound, it corresponds.

They are subtle: they seem to float, though they weigh me down,

Upsetting me with their sudden tongues and their colour,

A dozen red lead sinkers round my neck."

~
~ Tulips by Sylvia Plath ~

~ tickles my <3 ~

Pudding tickles my heart almost the same way this flower does, but in a cuter way :) He's the cutest ever ;)
~
On the beach while walking on the sand:
Pudding: "WoW daddy, these are lotsa footprints!"
Dad: "I know.."
Pudding: "But my footprints are hardly showing :( "
:D
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Puddingy, soon inshaAllah you'll have bigger footprints & you'll have to take good care of them.. Don't rush it honey bunny :)

As he held my hand,

I felt safe, again.. I felt that li’l girlie in me, again.. Felt that the whole world is out of harm's way & no darkness will ever lay hand on me.. I didn’t want to let go, nor did I want to feel anything else.. I wished that the rest of my life would be as bright as that moment was.. I wished that the

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whole world was as beautiful as it seemed to me then.. As he held my hand & walked me to the door I knew, I knew that nothing would have a sweeter taste than of that firm hold, the only one he knows.. That solid grip belonging only to him.. The grip that gets to your soul & taps it on the back & tells it: you’re fine & so does everything else.. I was his li’l princess & he was my guiding light.. How I wish last night didn’t end & how I wish he’d never had to leave my hand, yet again..

*Guidance*

Why Oh Why..

~ Pureté ~

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~

Well, I don't recall trying on mama's shoes as a li'l girl.. Nor do I remember wanting to wear her lip stick & so forth.. All I really wanted to do was to love everybody & make everybody love one another..

However, the more I grew up the harder I found this applicable in today's world.. Purity is almost running out of hearts & it's being replaced by this thing that I can't find a word for..

Happy are the ones who still cling to their native pure state, & desperate are the others.. I really feel for all the sad hearts out there.. And wish there was something left for me to do.. I so do :(

~

You don't have to go to the top,

to see what's up..

You just need to raise your head,

& wake up the dead..

And shake that monster in you real hard,

& tell him it's about time to depart..

~

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It's 03:40 am right now & there are two birds singing outside my window :)

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"What is REAL?"

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~

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
~

From: The Velveteen Rabbit
By: Margery Williams

"Guys are immature!"

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"Guys are immature!" She said..
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:D hahahahahahahaa :P
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So true man! So true!
~
~
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"Girls are crazy !!"

"Girls are crazy !!", he said.. And he was right!
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Girls: whenever you're down, just remember one thing: "Girls are crazy !!".. If you do, it'll make you feel better; 'cuz it did to me! And also remember that sara is the craziest of all!
~
:D

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"Maktub"

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Quotes by Paulo Coelho:

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it’s our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand."

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

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Choices, choices, choices.. Life is full of choices..

May Allah guide us in making the right ones.. Amen.

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"imagine colors"

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I've always thought about Helen Keller & all those who struggled just like she did.. When I saw the above photograph & its beautiful heading "imagine colors", I remembered Black.. Really, how do our blind brothers & sisters imagine colors? I wonder!

MASS asked us to "Get politicized be Aware", but you know something MASS? I can't! Seriously now, I can't! I get sick! And worse, depressed! And then I feel so incapable to a limit I can't describe here! I just get in this very low state that doesn't help me get any better..

A couple of days ago, mama's Iraqi doctor told her the saddest thing ever! At least one of all her relatives' families (uncle's family, aunt's family, & so forth) had a killed member! Things are going really bad over there & the killing is non-stop.. She had this 22 year old relative who was engaged to the man she loved & had plans with.. They dreamt together of owning houses up there in heaven, & investing their everything for that purpose.. She'd send him a message every dawn to make sure that her future husband is one who'd never forget his obligations towards his Creator.. The night before their wedding day, her future husband was murdered! Just like that! Instead of beating the drums to unite them, they carried him in hopes to be flying in a better place.. The girl lost her mind.. Literally..

Is this what you want me to learn of everyday MASS? I don't wanna be "politically" aware! I can't do nothing, so why watch houses falling apart? Maybe some guys can take it, go out there, fight with their hands, but me? I'll hold on to my pencil & scribble what I think might make a change!

Everyone has a purpose.. Just like the old man said in The Alchemist, there's a Personal Legend for everyone: "It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At one point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend."..

And to all guys out there, there's a huge difference between this groom being killed in his land, & that young man who was hit by that car right in front of our building's door step! HUGE DIFFERENCE!

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On a lighter-funnier-yet-serious-note, I ~a b s o l u t e l y ~love Sami's writings here :D

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To you girls <3

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~

To you three (you know who you are),

You guys, this is too much! You can’t be this sweet! What on earth did I do to deserve all this? Your words, efforts & beautiful scents that you brought to my life have been more than I could dream of! Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times :)

Now this is annoyingly funny.. Well, yesterday, after those three young ladies soaking me in their love & pampering me with their most appreciated gestures, I wanted to text message them before sleeping to thank them for their unlimited sweetness.. So I messaged two & when I came to message the third with a very very long text, I sent it to the wrong number (a number I don’t know), & of course, silly me, deleted the sent messages, with this dumb certainty that it was sent to the right people.. When I found out that I sent the last long message to a total stranger, I sent him/her a message saying: “hello, I’m sorry I just sent you the previous message by mistake, can I ask you to please resend it to me?”.. Of course they didn’t reply.. Maybe ‘cuz they still haven’t seen it.. Or they don’t understand English.. Or thought that maybe they don’t want to spend money in a long message to some stranger! I’d pay whatever it takes to get this message back & send it to the ‘right’ person! It was sooooooooo heartfelt & meant a lot :( I sooooooo wanna get my msg back :( Of course I went to sleep without rewriting it, ‘cuz it would never come out like it did in the first time :(

You can laugh at me now :@

~ fly the word ~

I wish I could get my parents to write my name for me, so beautifully like they used to, again.. Wish they’d alone be responsible for my doings, again.. Wish I’d be able to care less

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(but this time, not ‘again’); as I can’t seem to remember any point in my life in which I just simply ‘didn’t worry’.. And unlike all worries, I never seemed to worry about me as much as I worried about them, my dearly loved ones! Worry, panic & freak out, not necessarily externally, but rather, internally.. I’d bleed for you & just not show it that much.. I wonder when will I ever learn to ‘take it easy’, take a step backward & just let things be!

Umm, it’s been a while now that confusion has been knocking on all my doors.. I don’t mind it now as much though; ‘cuz I know that whatever it is that takes place, I’ll somehow learn how to be fine with it.. Didn’t Allah grant us the capability of doing so in the first place?

A couple of days ago, I saw this li’l bird flying around in the food court & it landed right in front of where I was eating.. It was unbelievable! A bird in the food court?! Just amazing :D

~

Mama has put these two plates in the balcony for birds to come eat & drink from.. One carries rice & the other water.. When I went to refill the water, I wondered how did all the birds know that in the Hamdy’s balcony there is food? I mean, at the beginning it was only two birds coming & having their share, but now almost all the birds surrounding our area have heard the news :) I guess it’s like how we see it in the cartoons; they tell each other & ‘fly the word around’ :)

The Story of A Farmer and His Watermelon

"There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would

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scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which reads, “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.” The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his reads, “Now there are two!”"

~

~ By Sis Zabrina ~

EtNiEv SoD

Don’t look at me,
Instead of looking at her..

She’s carried for too long,
& had to always care..

Alone into the night,
She’d sit, cry & fight..

For the kite & the sight,
Of her li’l miss delight..

*10 random things*

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Well, I've been tagged by MISS GJOE :D Thanks gjoe, this tag reminded me of an old tag :)

The rules are:

"Post 10 random things about yourself
Choose 5 people to tag and a reason you chose each person
Leave them each a comment directing them to your blog so they know they are it
You can’t tag the person who tagged you
As a courtesy to the person who tagged you, please let them know when you have posted"

1. I talk to strangers.. Like for instance while crossing the road, I could start a talk.. Or in the elevator.. You know.. Like crazy people do :D

2. I could get along with almost any kid :D I spent a whole evening at a wedding sitting next to a kid (I don't know), talking to her for the entire evening :)

3. I get attached waaaaaaaay too fast! I could get totally attached to you within a sec.. Okay, without exaggerating, within 10 seconds..

4. I have a mood swinging issue! I could even forget what has ruined my mood, but yet stay in this bad mood.. And oh, my bad mood means, I DON'T TALK!

5. I have a very sensitive sense of smell!

6. I can't tell the difference between a 100 & a 1000 dirhams! I've never learnt the definition of money!

7. I hate lying!

8. I can drink butter milk (laban) at any given time ;)

9. I've recently got to know someone who gets emotionally & physically abused & can't do nothing about it :(

10. When I was 14 (or maybe 15, 16, can't remember really), a family friend allowed me to drive her manual car (in cairo) & OMG! The car stopped almost every two minutes :D I never forgot the sparkle of trust I found in her eyes.. I didn't know anything about her the gears or anything (I've only tried with daddy in his Jeep) & yet she kept on insisting on teaching me.. We weren't even close (me & her)! Thanks Mona :) You've given me faith in me with that look in that crazy egyptian night :) I'll never forget that :D

And now I'm tagging (I'm tagging 'em 'cuz I wanna know more about them):

Ara: The sister I've never met.. The one who taught me the true meaning of compassion..

Batoul A.: I wanna know more about her, the girl who loves her brother so much :) (may he get married & be happy & fly high in the sky of love)

Lulu: Ukhty lulu.. Habebty lulu.. Sis lulu.. Dihket erroman ;P

Maryam: The sister I'm planning on meeting soon inshaAllah :) (May Allah grant you & Z the child who'll be qurrat 'ayn for you.. Amen :) )

Princess N: Wanna learn more about her sane world ;)

~ within the antiquated ~

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Isn't it such a beautiful scene to one's eyes & soul, when seeing men gathering around together, making a united effort in beautifying our world? This was the feeling I had when I was watching those Armenian men, months ago, dancing together to some strong loud beats while hitting the ground so hard making their tapping go beautifully with the rhyming beats.. Again this feeling came to life when I saw Palestinian men doing almost the same moves to some similar beats..

I always think about the roots of things.. Like how did they start, how did they begin.. I often look up their source, or simply make up my own story ;) Like for instance these dances: I don't know from where exactly I got this feeling, but I, for some reason, got this notion that loooooong ago, men used to do this stomping while performing some agricultural activities!

'Hoyamal' is this old chant that fishermen used to sing here while fishing.. I thought it originated from the word 'amal', which stands for 'hope'.. But I found out somewhere that it means 'God's blessing' :)

It's interesting to realize that everything good & bad has a starting point.. I hope we could be the starting points to any good thing, no matter how small it may be..

~

P.S. It'd be amazing if anyone could help my sister in finding out where 'Egypt' came from.. I know that 'Misr' is the old name of Egypt, so where did the name 'Egypt' come from?

~ The Promise ~

While I was sitting this morning reading in my warm corner in our pretty very inspirational balcony, pudding came & sat next to me.. The sun rays were all over him & I

got lost in his young angelic face.. 'He's growing!' I sighed.. I don't want him growing! I want him to stay where he is! The birds were singing & I was honestly jealous.. They don't get to be questioned & we do.. Pudding won't always be "my li'l puddingy", will he? He'll soon be accountable for all it is that he's doing.. Oh, my li'l pudding is growing.. *sigh*

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We can do it, I know we can.. We sin & repent.. And sin again.. And repent again.. The thought that keeps me hanging in here is that: as long as we're breathing, we get another chance.. That's true brothers & sisters (I always wonder why I'm used to saying brothers before sisters, ain't it funny?).. We get another chance :D

~

I also see that women (talkative gender) do get more chances of their sins being wiped off than men do.. We go through monthly pains.. Carry children.. And so much more.. While men have to carry themselves along with others & strive hard, so hard.. May Allah make it easy on all of those trying hard.. And may He The Strongest grant 'em the strength to hang in there, until their time comes.. Amen :)

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I'd love to share here with you today a sweet sweet incident that took place last night :) Well, while swimming in the pool last night, this li'l almost 5 year old kiddo came in & made all these funny things in the water & drew everyone's attention.. I couldn't stop watching him.. He came up to me & kept on making hard efforts in showing off his swimming skills ;) And when the time came for everyone to leave, I noticed him with his mom on the side of the pool getting ready to leave & go bathe.. Everyone left except us.. I was close enough to hear the following:

Cute Kiddo: "Mommy!"

Cute Kiddo's Mom: "Yes baby?"

CK: "I wanna tell you something, but promise you won't get mad first?"

CKM surprisingly: "Umm, what is it?"

CK: "No you gotta promise first!"

CKM worryingly: "I promise! What is it?"

CK: "Say wAllahi?"

CKM: "Wallahi!"

CK pleadingly: "WAllahi you won't get mad?"

CKM nervously: "WAllahi I won't get mad! Say it baby.."

CK: "It's just that, the little hairs laying on the back of your neck from this swim cap & the goggles you're wearing make you look like a.. ahhh.. look like.."

CKM: "What baby?"

CK in a low voice: "You look like a mouse!"

CKM teasingly: "I look like a mouse? Is that how I look like?"

CK regretfully: "But maaaaaaa, you said you won't get mad?!"

CKM: "I look like a mouse?"

CK: "It's just that.. Mommyyyyyy, come on?!"

CKM: "I'm not mad, I'm not mad.. But MOUSE? :P"

CK relieved & happy: "hehehehehehehehe :D"

In Lieu Of......

I knew they were not “normal”.. There was something special about them.. Something “uncommon”.. It wasn’t for their very short height; it was something else.. Something that most of us wouldn’t even think about :(

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While my sis & I were waiting for our sukkar friend, $@lly, to come downstairs, we noticed this strange thing.. There were these two young ladies standing down the side of the road, feeding a number of cats & pigeons! Now around sally’s place, I’d always see a lotta pigeons flying around.. Every time I go there, I see them & enjoy the scene :) But never did I notice anyone even looking at them :(

One of the ladies was feeding some cats (they were hiding behind these bars) & the other was moving around throwing the pigeons seeds bit by bit.. And shortly afterwards, sally came..

Me: “Sally, why are these women wearing the same clothes?”
Sals: “They’re twins..”
Me: “Do you know them personally?”
Sals: “Nope.. I always see them around my house.. What’s going on?”
Me: “It’s just that I found the cats showing up from between the bars only for them! Even the pigeons seem like they know them!”
Sals: “Oh, they’re incredible! They always feed the cats & hang around with them.. I even saw one of the sisters carrying a dead cat WITH HER BARE HANDS off the middle of the road! The poor cat was hit by a car.. They really take good care of these cats..”
Me: “Wow, mashaAllah, they’re not normal sals! Tenderhearted is the word!”
Sals: “Well, as a matter of fact, they are “abnormal”.. They have some kind of a disability that I’m not so familiar with..”

What happened to the “normal” people? Where has the compassion gone? Why is it abnormal to see some kindness anywhere in our time? It’s got to be a weird thing seeing a man feeding a dog, or a woman simply contemplating & enjoying a good weather! It’ll be extremely bizarre if you find a man helping another man carrying his groceries..

Yesterday, an embassy nearby was on fire.. As I was running downstairs to move the car from where I’ve parked it (as I parked it next to the embassy; & the firefighters needed that space to get their truck) I noticed that people were acting normal! Some were even laughing while watching the pitch black smoke! Some were pointing at the fire & giggling! Others were just glancing out of curiosity & asking some silly questions; to know the stupid details that they always love to hear to be constantly “FILLED IN WITH EVERYTHING”..

We’re awfully cold,
While no one is told..

We’re getting old,
& we'll be easily sold..

It’ll then be hard to mold,
All of these rotten folds..

If I only could..

I’d color them houses,
& break all their fences..

I’d shake them hard,
& grant them a start..

I’d plant all the seeds,
& grow the dead fields..

I’d hug 'em all,
& allow no fall..

I’d teach 'em to fly,
& to bear no lies..

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~

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Oh, I so would,
If I only could..

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