w o r d s l i k e s w o r d s

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A broken promise.. A broken promise broke me to pieces.. A broken promise.. A broken word.. A word that only consisted of letters.. Letters that weigh absolutely nothing.. And to me they were everything.. I was clinging to words, can you believe that? Clinging to words that took me higher and then other words came and smashed me into the lowest rock.. I was clinging to words! Blindly trusting.. Blindly believing.. Blindly seeing the rainbows and the flowing river of purity.. Purity of heart and mind.. Purity of soul and body.. I was flying over on a cloud passing all of them ugly scenes.. Blocking my ears when it came to angry noises.. Blocking my eyes when it came to scary darkness.. Maybe it’s me.. Maybe I was selfish.. Maybe I painted picture perfect when there were no colors.. How can you paint with no colors! What am I but a dot in this world.. A dot that thought of changing the world.. Of growing some seeds.. Of drawing some smiles.. All I did was the opposite.. Never finished anything.. Never gave all I had.. Never made any difference.. I only smelled the flowers and never took care of any.. I only took.. I.. I.. I.. I am nothing and did nothing and God told me that I’m here to fix, and all I do is ruin.. I ruined me.. The me that God’s given me! Can’t even know me anymore.. I lost me and lost my sight.. It’s pitch black now.. I’m sorry God.. I’m sorry my dear lovely people.. Sorry for all of this.. Sorry for everything.. I love you all and I’m so deeply sorry.. I know sorry is a five lettered word, but words are all I got, and if the whole wide world gives up on words, I won’t! A word is always a word, even if it weighs nothing.. Let’s live on God’s Promise, and pray we deserve it, amen!

p r e t e n d ?

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~ s a f e t y ~

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Dreams, prayers, hopes, plans, pleads, wishes, fears, tears, cries, screams..... I'm down on my knees, asking You to please, please, please, guide me.. Teach me.. Help me.. Keep us safe.. Fill our selves with beauty.. Our hearts with love.. Our minds with peace.. Fill our roads with tranquility & our strings with hope.. Strengthen our walls & soften our walks.. Keep us safe.. Safe.. Please keep us safe......

~ a m a n a h ~

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Dad:
"Take care of her.."
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Cousin:
"She's amanah uncle.."
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The Cold Shoulder :(

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“I don’t want to hurt your feelings miss, but I love you less today..” F. said..

OUCH! That hurts! But before anything, it has to be me, right? It can’t be out of the blues.. Maybe I was too harsh, or or or.. It can’t just happen like that..

~

At a lotta times, we see people giving us their cold shoulder for a reason or another, and it does hurt a little and sometimes much.. But right there and then, we need to think of what WE did, ‘cuz I’m sure we play a big part of that.. So I hope I can make it up to F. and make him love me at least as he used to, will I? Don't want to sing "don't love you know more" now :(

~

Earlier this week, I asked them to write letters to their moms thanking them for a special thing that they’ve done for them.. And here’s what F. asked me: “Miss, when your mom puts you in her stomach, she carries you for nine months or nine weeks?” :D How do they perceive time! And N. said: "This is hard, everything mom does is very very special..".. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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And oh oh, I can’t go without this one, R., cute li’l miss R :D We played the scattered words game, and I asked each one to write their favorite English word down and color it.. I got a lotta “love”, “kindness”, "sport" “mom”, but R. aaaaaaaahhh, she wrote “bean”! haha! Why would a tiny bean make one’s favorite word!

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Kids <3

Seek The Everlasting Mercy :)

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"And I don’t want the world to see me,
‘Cuz I don’t think that they’d understand..
When everything is made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.."

~ Iris ~

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Belonging to God means a lot to me.. Knowing that from Him I come & to Him is my return makes me feel calm at the end of all of them rough days.. Knowing that He knows me well, and that I don’t have to explain me to Him, makes it much easier to carry on breathing.. At a lotta times, I see all the lights going down, and right at those very times, I try to focus and remember, that He’s the source of Light.. All light.. He’s Light.. Everlasting Light..
Ever
las
ting
!
Every day, I take new steps.. And with all the stumbles and falls, I hold on to some certainties, all my way long.. One reminds me that He’s totally Aware of it all.. Another is that His Mercy always surrounds me and is way beyond my grasp.. And those very beliefs make me see the flowers on the side of this busy road.. They make me smell the sweetness of the fresh bread before even getting to the bakery.. They make me hear the birds sing despite all of them noisy horns.. They set me free of all ties.. They’re just like a ribbon tied around my heart, keeping it from breaking.. Pulling me together in one piece.. One piece eventually.. Breathing in and out miraculously into a soul that has no place.. No color or face.. One that He only Sees and Knows, more than I myself do.. And I still wonder, is it a good piece, good enough for everything.. Good enough for walking here.. Good enough for this existence.. This crazy existence that roars and sleeps all at once.. I wonder.. You see....... Dunno.. What do you see? Do you see you? Yes you? Yourself? Do you see me? Do you see them? What do you see? I see beauty.. I do! In the midst of this smoke, I see beauty whenever I wanna see it.. Look around.. To what’s up.. Can you see that? Yes, it’s the sky.. The S K Y :) Reach out, 'cuz the world is bigger than you only if you don’t let it all in.. Take it in, inhale it, and you will become larger than life itself.. You are a living miracle.. So take your time, look and see, smell the flowers, and enjoy the life that you’ve been granted, ‘cuz you’ll live it only once :) God’s Beauty lies within our very selves, doesn’t it :)

"Choux Pastry Heart"

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Wanna know why they wrap those buckets around the tree trunks or hang them from the tree branches? And who does it? Always wondered!

It's always nice to start my day with the ocean's sight.. Breathing it all in with each day's different smell.. Wondering what the day has for me in store as I sip over and over again the sweetened coffee flavor that puts me through the days.. Thinking of what has passed and yet to come, as I stand still, dreaming of uniting the best of yesterday and today in tomorrow..

With fast steps, that turn to leaps, I float over those moments that make it almost impossible to breathe.. I run back and forth thinking of how to reach that 'pausing' mode that would stop it all for a second.. Just one single moment.. And when that moment comes, I catch my breath, and continue with my walk, run, life......

It's pretty amazing how we all breathe differently.. It's all breathing I know, but differs.. Same air, yes.. But different taste for each soul to inhale.. I sometimes wonder, where exactly is my heart.. It sank so many times! If that's right, then what's that noise?! Is it my heartbeats, or just some beeps..

Goldy told me to "expect the unexpected" today, and a minute later he scared me to death with a scream from behind the door and said: "Didn't I tell you miss to expect the unexpected?" :) They always teach me those li'l ones! Treat me like a student.. It's me :$ I always sit in their seats and ask them to go "up there" and be "the teacher".. If I had a say in this, I'd say we're all teachers and learners.. We'll never get it all.. We won't.. And I truly believe that in our hunts, we need to be fairly tranquil & content, for it will help make the hunt more fun and the goals tastier :)

Peace out to all of you hunters out there, and especially my Hunt Club and Riverside folks ;)

(: Bless your hearts :)

s e r u t r a p e d

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Dad's told me it's the sign to the airport,

Facing up is straight, & bending means to the right..

It's the wheels of a suitcase,

And the beats of a heart race..

Life always on the run,

Sometimes down & sometimes fun..

You can't beat the cold,

Nor keep the warmth on one fold..

But if you look deep deep down,

You'll find a cold silent home with no sound..

Always waiting for others to fill it,

And never bearing being alone in it..

With the hundreds surrounding us,

Tears still find us and throw us to a Russ..

Gosh, how I want to come home,

And never ever be alone......

R I D E A U < 3

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Can't sleep! I truly know now how bad it is for those who suffer from insomnia, what a pain! Sleeping is a big blessing that we easily take for granted! Dear God!

On my way to class this morning, surrounded with all the kids waiting for me to unlock the door, we found a dead bird right in front of the classroom's door.. The kids froze there, and started thinking of what made this poor birdie die.. Was it another bird, or did it fall, break its wing and found no help...... And of the cutest was li'l Z., she said, "maybe it's just sleeping", she said it with all the hope in the world to be true.. However, it was found that it has been dead for quite some time.. As it was buried away, the kids couldn't stop thinking of its family and where they think the bird is and so forth..

It's such a great blessing for one to be surrounded by kids.. They're so unbelievably caring.. If they're comfortable in their shoes, they'd show you the world in a completely different way.. If I could, I'd absolutely choose nothing else in this world than being with them li'l angels :)

Hours after that, while taking off and starting the car to fly back home, I found a poor young girl walking back home right under the hot Abu Dhabian sun.. Just opened the window to offer her a ride, and she just jumped in! And then I asked her where her home is, she looked confused & said "Just go straight!".. Went straight ahead, and she just went blank! "Where's home hun?", she said, "It's close.. I walk home everyday with my brother and don't exactly concentrate on the way, I leave the direction for him to lead.. And today he fell sick and couldn't make it to school..".......! And then it just hit me.. "THE SAFE ZONE".. When you feel safe, you, without knowing, let your guards down.. And it's the best feeling in the world.. Feeling safe.. Knowing that you can count on another.. Knowing that everything is alright just 'cuz they're there......

And with all the time I've spent living this life, I could tell you right now that nothing beats that feeling.. Ever! But I still see some whom are lost and mixed up.. Some think it comes with more contacts on your phone.. Or with more pleasures to fulfill.. All I know for sure is that it only comes with the happiness of others! In the peaceful life that we all dream of, that supposedly starts with "Assalamu alaikum".. The global greeting of peace.. Only if we mean it every time we say it.. Only if we take the time saying it and truly praying for it.. Only if we don't mix things up.. Only if..........

Rest in peace birdie.. And rest in peace every thing under and on this Earth.. This Earth.. This Earth.. The bearer of millions of souls.. The secret that lies within.. The green & blue ball, filled with great wonders for all.. The unsolved mystery.. The witness of all that passed and yet to come.. The land that connects us all.. That we all touch together with our foreheads and sometimes walk on gently (as asked to) and sometimes not.. The patient carrier of our mess ups.. The song that we all sing everyday..

May we all rest in peace.. May we all have Z.'s cute heart & always hope for the best.. Amen :)

Deliquesce :)

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It feels like a slush out here.. Too cold & crispy.. The wind blows you & the ice underneath slides you by.. Yes, you feel like a stranger, but somehow belonging.. Maybe 'cuz of the warmth of your loved ones that helps you glide through.. It's so good to be here with you brohy, I don't know from where to begin.. Crying on your shoulder.. Mourning the biggest loss of our lives.. Giggling until the night throws its veil on us.. Celebrating the new me with you.. Catching up on the past long long months.. All its grief & joy.. All its blooms & falls.. Ah, it's so good to be here with you :') I haven't loosened up in quite a while.. Haven't let go of.. of.. of everything like that.. With you it's all easier, lighter, & way way older; bringing the old me back.... Have I changed? Grown older maybe? Don't want to ask you, 'cuz I want you to see me like you always did.. I know time changes things, but it never changed us, how mighty are we! I want to always see this spark in your eyes :) Bless your heart lovey <3

Where's my mug?

What's the matter with me, been so hooked on John Mayer's lyrics lately! The wordings just hit me like that! WoW!
So, a colleague of mine was telling me

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today about how bad she feels for not holding God's Book for once since the holy month of Ramadan.. She misses "God" she says, and needs someone to help her with that.. On our daily conscience and sub-conscience search of God, we seek tranquility, but sometimes, we stumble on the way.. No matter how firm we are, we do fall back every now & then.. However, we should have faith in "rolling back on".. If we cry over our fall, we'll never rise up, or so I believe.. Do we really know ourselves? I surprise myself sometimes.. Are we easily read, or special magnifiers are needed for that...... On my (exam) correction process now, I realized that I could tell who's paper it is without reading their names! So if a few scribbles tell who one is, why can't we sometimes read ourselves?

(: Peace out :)

*Sprained Ankle*

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Piece of advice: When you sprain your ankle, please don't run! Or you'll end up weaker than you already are! Trust me we are so powerless, it's not even funny!

Two days ago, someone lost their temper so bad & flared up.. I couldn't control the situation and was very upset.. Don't you think it's unfair to "us" before others when loosing it? Why do we have to make ourselves smaller than we already are?

Hold

it

please

'cuz

nothing

and

I

repeat:

NOTHING

is

worth

making

fools

of

ourselves

for!

18 / 7

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So I was thinking, I sleep around 6 hours everyday, and the rest 18 hours are NEVER enough, so why is that? Will I ever live a day without being rushed into doing every single thing? Is it me or the time? God guys, we'll be asked for each moment, are we doing good enough? Are we good enough? For life? I wonder......

(: Blessed Friday to y'all :)

"Listen"

This string man's secret lies here ;)

Blessed for teaching <3

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What would you do when Booboo tells you he's forgotten his school bag back at home, laughs & starts singing? What would you do when cute li'l R. writes you a "thank you for nothing" note? What would you do when Mo paints you a "sunshine"?

You should humble down & praise your Lord :D

Your student-teacher,

miss sara <3

~ possessives ~

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Second year in a row teaching them how to use them possessive nouns.. And man am I lost! I get so lost in between those apostrophes and Ss; for what do we possess? Can anyone answer that? Tell me one thing that you possess?

And tell me why do I miss my kitty?

And why are roses so pretty?

Why are distances so big?

And how can one fix a broken rig?

How would I know it's okay?

And why do we have to be so far away?

Where can togetherness be found?

And when will it be peaceful with no sound?

When will Earth stop roaring?

And when will people start caring?

How will hearts come to life?

And why are we scared to fall in love?

When will we stop spinning around?

And why do we all know how to hound?

When will I meet with my true felicity?

And please answer knighty; he's asking: "what is gravity?"

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S i n g i n g :

"Gravity, is working against me,

And gravity, wants to bring me down..

Oh I'll never know, what makes this man,

With all the love, that his heart can stand,

Dream of ways, to throw it all away..

Oh twice as much, ain't twice as good,

And can't sustain, like one half could,

It's wanting more, that's gonna send me to my knees..

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me,

Oh gravity, has taken better men than me,

Now how can that be?

Just keep me where the light is.."

~ John Mayer ~

:'(

In the eyes of who?

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Remember Boby? I still have the honor of teaching him, benefiting & gaining more from him, than adding to him! Oh dear, how I love him! He is one of a kind! A truly unique creation of God!

Lately, I've been having issues to deal with & the worst thing about that is the way it affects me; I don't have the ability of pretending anything: I'm not fine, YOU SEE IT! And this is a nightmare if your job requires dealing with others; cuz it'll clearly affect the others that you deal with, whether you like it or not!

And as a teacher, my li'l angels have been noticing the change in me: "Miss, what's wrong?".. "Nothing honey, can't you see me smile :)".. "No miss, it's not coming from here *and they point to their hearts*".. Their vision is so clear, that it'd scare you! I hate myself for not being happy for them.. I just can't seem to give like I used to.. I've been on the edge & can't stand anything! And worst of all, distracted! Dunno where to go or what to want anymore! And through these hard times, I try hard to contain my sorrow & be me, but can't..

*sighs*

So, just now, I was going through a drop quiz that I gave the kids at the end of the week, & didn't have time to check it in school.. And after checking it I realised: I NEED TO STAY GROUNDED! I need to remember MY PURPOSE & stay focused.. And I only can know how to.. I still didn't figure that out yet, but Boby just said something that I HAD TO SHARE!

If you look at the attached photo of Boby's answers, you'll see a beauty of a lifetime.. As I said, I gave them a drop quiz, and wasn't feeling good in class, and they were upset because of that.. So I decided to block away all my negativity, and play with them.. Since we had taken Arab countries' flags, I told them get a piece of paper out & answer my questions (supposedly on flags, but those questions just came out like that!):

1. Who's the most person you love on Earth?

2. If you were to live on an island, what are the 3 things that you'd take with you?

3. If you can color the sky, what color would you pick?

4. Draw the flag of Jordan.

5. Pick: island / jungle!

6. What would you wear for the rest of your life?

7. If you have one hour left for the END OF TIME, what would you want to do?

8. Draw the flag of Bahrain.

And the kids had their mouths wide open all through that weird drop quiz and gave me the "look": She must have lost her mind.. As I was collecting their sheets, they were asking: "will this be marked", and I said I'll see ;)

And looking at Boby's answer for 1, I couldn't hold my tears! He loves me this much! What do I do then! Do I deserve his love! You see, Boby and I have always had this connection.. And lately, he came to school with all these bruises and didn't tell me why! He said "you won't bear knowing why!" But he told Miss H & she told me it was 'cuz of his dad.. He's beaten the hell out of him & had no mercy! And the reason was: for sucking his thumb while sleeping! *No words to put here!*

Anyways, moving on to number 7!!!!!!! Gosh! THIS KID IS SOMETHING, AIN'T HE! All the other kids said stuff like: "playing on the computer, praying, talking to the people I love......" But Boby said: "Be a good man for God!" He didn't say be a good man.. He said:

Be

a

good

man

for

God

How adorable is that! For God.. Not for miss sara, not for mom, not for dad, FOR GOD! Please note that this quiz took a couple of moments! I was so quick to let their hearts out and not give them a chance to think!

I'm done!

Praise The Lord for Creating you & bringing you to my life Boby <3

"Dreams of a Journey"

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Carl <3 Ellie