Goodbye 2009!

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Dear 2009,

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You've showed me things I've never seen before.. You've taken loved ones & brought in loved ones.. You've showed me other faces of earthly life & brought me closer to my dream land.. You've helped me grow older and showed me a different face of mine.. You've made my heart skip beats & tears flow like all the years.. But best of all, you've granted me a dream I thought would never come true.. And since then, I've been wishing everyone else the same..

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However, I won't forget the horrible torture of split that you've caused to my family, & I won't forget the pain of going through that.. All the pains and aches and long nights.. And today, it ended with the bad smell coming from our dying kettle :( Yes, our loyal white kettle decided to give up on us and end its services for this year.. It chose 2010 to be a new year for us with a new kettle.. Thanks dear kettle, you've always made our days better ones with your warm water, & you won't be forgotten :)

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And at the end of this long long year, I'll leave you guys with Dave who depicts exactly how numb I feel after 2009.. Goodbye 2009 & hello 2010 :)

Abu Zikry :D

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Isn't it amazing the li'l things we ALL have that lighten up our hearts! There was this project that I was so impressed with & deeply believe that it makes us truly "take the time to smell the roses".. Well, it's called "30 days of Gratitude".. Unique Muslimah made it through & brought the world a lovely project that brings in sweet thoughts of the "li'l big" things.. Here is her project :)

So today, I want to share something that I'm so grateful for:

M y L o v e l y G r a n d m o t h e r s :)

I've been blessed, since my birth, with the presence of my big family before the small one, if you know what I mean.. Sometimes, I used to sit back and think, isn't it a li'l ------- to have a lotta people watch you grow closely, and see all your failures before your successes! But you know what? Thinking that is a big mistake! Having more people, is having more pride, is having more honor, is having more knowledge, is sharing more feelings, is knowing more about "YOU" before others.. It's a plus & NEVER a minus! And especially having the elder family members living with you, I swear it's a blessing that we really need to appreciate!

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Dear tetas,

I love you both so very much & I truly appreciate your presence in my life! I love it when you watch T.V. together, & run to read the paper first, and then discuss the world's growing problems & talk about the past & its charm! I love it when you watch those drama television series & not hear some words & blame age for that :D I love it when you read God's Book & wake each other up in the middle of the night for a special prayer that's heard by Him only, The Lord of the worlds.. I enjoy what you enjoy, only 'cuz you enjoy it.. AND I LOVE ABU ZIKRY & LOVE COPYING HIM TO MAKE YOU LAUGH :D I love you both so very much & thank God for your presence in my yesterday & pray for your blessed presence all through my today & my tomorrow, amen! And please forgive me if I don't show you this love, BUT I SWEAR TO YOU, I LOVE YOU <3

SPLAAAAAAAAAASH :D

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3AAAAASHAAAAAAAAAW 3ASHAW :D

The rain is unbelievable!!!! THANK YOU GOD! 3ASHAW 3ASHAW, 3ASHAW WALLAH 3ASHAW, remember this old Miami song? The days here sound like this song since rain started :D

SHELOOHA SHELA WELLEILA LEILAH :D

I told the kids today in class to pray for something while it was raining and Nano screamed out "I Pray everyone in the world would be happy right now!" :) I pray for the same Nanoooooo :D

LET IT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN :D

Una palabra..

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"With empty palms people act empty,

Those who got a lot act like they don't have plenty..

So you say you getting places but you ain't moving at all,

Still some race on and some sit back and wait for His call.."

Walou ~ Outlandish

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I've always loved this video clip.. "Walou" says a lot to those who want to listen..

It's a nice weather over here, extremely heart-lifting.. It rained this morning :) I wonder how it can feel "normal" for others when rain falls down! Rain for me is always a blessing! It's a miracle that truly makes our Earth a happier one.. And talking of Earth, kids in school ask me if the world will really end in 2012, FOR GOD'S SAKE FILM MAKERS, STOP THAT! Think of the li'l ones for once! God!

By the way, I realised something! The person who steals or takes something that doesn't belong to him/her, REALLY thinks that it's his/her right! This is where the problem lies, not the fact of stealing more than the fact of him/her truly believing that it's their right to grab things they need! How can you make them know, that's what you & I should be thinking about, not only stopping them by force!

Trust me guys, all things are WALOU! I wish I can explain how walou they are, but I don't know how to! I see everything as it really is.. Like money, I see it as paper, but I know that it's what people kill for.. I know it's what faith could be lost for.. But maybe I'm just an ignorant who never really knew what NEEDING it is like..

Let's open our windows & see past our walls, surely there's a lot out there that we know nothing about! But hey, watch for the wind and rain ;)

Bless!

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P.S. "Walou" is a Moroccan word that means "nothing"..

P.P.S. "De la nada sale el todo, y el todo se hace nada"..

Oh Yes, YOU CAN :)

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You know what? Dream as much as you want! I'm not saying sit down or fall back, but float off, have your own wonderland! Dream on, while being in touch with reality, & you might surprise yourself! Live your life while reaching out for the furthest star, & you never know :)

Take Chances :)

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So the weather has been perfect lately, and the sky started enjoying the clouds.. It's the best time of the year, where celebrations take place and people start looking for a new phase.. They make new resolutions and wish upon stars for a brighter year ahead.. Looking back then becomes vital & helps a lot with what's coming ahead.. And then moments rush through, moments of joy, regret, love & remorse.. Moments blend in & come up with this new feeling that results in a new older you.. And you try to get on with whatever it takes to fit in the image you want to be seen in eventually.. However, let me ask you something, do you really think it's important to be someone you're not enjoying being; just to fill in the blanks? Or is it better to enjoy the YOU that you are today and take chances to bring out the best of that? Do you really enjoy the company of YOU? Do you know that if you don't enjoy your-self's company, no one will? Did you ever realize that? I miss myself sometimes! I feel like I can't find me.. Do you ever feel that way? Anyways, I can always find me in a warm mug of cinnamon milk :D

I'll fly you balloons :')

Habeeby Diggo,
I'll fly you balloons :) I know it'd make you happy seeing kids happy, and kids love it when they see flying balloons, just like your li'l princeeeesa does :')
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Habeeby Diggo,
I didn't want to see your ta'eya (hat).. I didn't want to see your shawl.. I've been avoiding that since the day you've been gone! And moreover, I didn't want to smell them, but I did..

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And I felt lost! Lost in sorrow of old joy! It smelled exactly like you, sweet & super loving.. It smelt like holidays.. It smelt like fresh grass & a beach dance.. It smelt like you, the never-ending kindness of soul & heart..
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Habeeby Diggo,
I never understood why you liked it dim.. Why you loved the curtains down.. I never knew why would a bright spirit like yourself need darkness.. But just today, I think I found out the answer.. I think you saw it all coming.. You knew that out there isn't as warm as it is inside, so you wanted to keep your sincere self away from superficiality..
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Habeeby Diggo,
I wish you were here today! I want you to put the curtains down for me.. I need it dim for a while.. And could you come & whistle like you used to? I need to hear your whistle.. I didn't know all the old songs you loved whistling & humming to, but I'm sure if I hear them from you today, it'll feel like going back home.. Li'l pudding whistles just like you Diggo, can you believe that? He's older now, with this new tone in his voice.. I pray he'd grow to be as strong, tender & profound as you Diggo..
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I miss you so much Diggo & it hurts real bad :')

I'll close my eyes like li'l amoona taught me & see you :')

Diggo, I miss you, love you, need you & thank you for you :')

Diggo, you're THE MAN, do you know that? YOU'RE THE MAN! :')

Are you?

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"Are you gonna fly high?"

I've been doing some thinking on a couple of fears I've been experiencing for my "tomorrow", and I'll tell you what.. Best thing to do, in order to keep your flight on, is to not WHINE! I know it's easier said than done, but trust me, at least to keep on saying what you want to get done with, will eventually get you there, don't ya think?

Happy holidays!

Drop Like A Rock..

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Sometimes my heart sinks to the deepest of my soul,

& sometimes my fears are louder than any control..

When that happens I run faraway & close my eyes,

& try hard to not see what on the other side lies..

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So, the lights are out there now and decorations are filling every corner.. And sad hearts are all over the place.. Some don't even see the lights.. Some are too lonely to look out.. And I, I want to share this smart trick of mine that eventually breaks into the darkess.. Well, simply, in others' joy I find mine! If you try this, it might work for you like it does for me! Find others' joy & help it grow, or share it, & trust me: it'll grow on you ;)

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(: Happy Eid :)

(: Happy National Day :)

"Sisters are......

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......different flowers from the same garden"

"What's this life for?"

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What's marriage? What's birth? What's light? What's peace? What's trust? What's anger? What's acceptance? What's sadness? What's appreciation? What's fear? What's admiration? What's regret? What's approval? What's encouragement? What's caring? What's understanding? What's respect? What's devotion? What's validation? What's reassurance? What's life? What's love? What's death?

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The story of Cain & his brother Abel has always left this impact on my life.. It's hard grasping the extreme extent that any of us can reach.. Seeing how the world around me goes by, with all those extreme acts of love, violence, hatred & peace, I stand in awe! Now, I thank God for knowing what's this life for, but do you? Creed don't I guess, do they? They asked it before, "What's this life for?".. I hope they do now!

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(: May God accept these ten blessed days & nights :)

(: Happy warm winter :)

(: Good night :)

~ h a z y ~

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Girls girls girls.. I think girls to the world are like a cradle to the babies.. I think they're like caves, deep and carry a lot..

I've been learning a lot from dealing with kids in this school.. I've been understanding more about me through their very eyes.. I've been seeing why the world is like it is today.. They're a very important mirror that we all "adults" need to look at!

Li'l 11 year old, Miss N., came up to me yesterday telling me that she's in love! And I, ladies and gentlemen, was SAVED BY THE BELL! Thank God for that bell; for without it, I would have been so lost!

Earlier on that day, I saw them playing this "future game".. Girls used to play it around me when I was younger, and I made fun of them every time my turn came telling them it's "silly", while dying form the inside to play it, just to know! To know who's cradle will I be! I'm sure you know this game, it's when you fold a piece of paper into a couple of folds and on each fold you write a group of nouns.. On a fold, boys' names, the next numbers, then colors, then cars' brands, then countries & much more.. And then with your thumb, you go over each fold back and forth until whoever's turn it is says 'stop', and that will be her future husband's name, and then the number of kids she'll have, and then the color of her house, and then the car she'll have and so forth.. I was always against it, and they made fun of me for being so uptight! I wanted to know it all, but I knew I'd have to WAIT!

I wanted to tell li'l N. to WAIT and be patient.. To watch out for her heart.. To look out for the fragile being she is.. To know that to stay "crystal-clear", you gotta build a wall to protect you from ever breaking, 'cuz whenever you will, you won't have your original pureness.. But the bell rang and the words were too big for her anyway.. Anyway......

I don't really think of "tomorrow" much, I got myself used to not asking any questions about tomorrow from an early age.. But it seems the older you get, the more you'll have to think of "tomorrow".. One of the reasons I avoided the "tomorrow" drama for, was to not face any disappointments! Disappointments are such a killer, aren't they? I pray I'd never be a disappointment to anyone! Ever!

Is it the weather or what? I love winters, and this winter has nothing to do with coldness, but it is just so freakin COLD! Everything is so dull! Unclear! Obscure! Ambiguous!

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C E R T A I N L Y H A Z Y !

Umm Zahra (f)

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Umm Zahra (flower's mom).. One of the most beautiful women I've ever met! Her face glows with faith & hands gleam with light! It was a pleasure & a real delight meeting her!

Yesterday, "Friday the 13th", was calling on me, "come to God's house.. Come, come..".. I heard it so clear & couldn't ignore it for any reason.. The weekend's laziness & the week's weariness were melting off with the first sprinkle of ablution water on my skin.. Mysterious energy beamed all around me & carried me to God's house..

The weather was perfect, the clouds were floating & the kids were hollering on the roads.. As I drove off, the streets were greeting me with a unique morning smoothie turning all the lights to green & rushing me to God's Call..

As soon as I reached the Holy House, I found an empty spot right in front of the shaded ladies section waiting for me, thanking me for answering the call.. In disbelief, I parked the car & flew out.. As I was putting my shoes on the shelf, this cute little Somali girl opened the gate for me with happy eyes and a big gum in her mouth.. She answered my salam with this cute accent of hers that would melt down an iceberg! As I walked in, I didn't find many women as (a) I went early, (b) Women don't really go to the mosques here much often! So I go and next to the wall, unfold my rug & pray the prayer of greeting the mosque..

After finishing off my two rak'as, Umm Zahra, a woman I never met, sitting in the front row waved at ME telling me to sit next to her and tapped on the rug next to her.. So, I smiled back and went and sat & she didn't say a word! She carried on reading from the Holy Book & I started my own reading too.. Every once in a while she'd smile at me & without uttering a word, she'd continue reading.. And while reading, a sajdah came through the lines & she prostrated for around 10 minutes! I was stunned by the beauty of her power! She's this very very old Somali woman who happens to have an enormous amount of wrinkles on both her face & hands.. The hinna from her hands smelled so fresh just like Eid! Her physical ability wouldn't be much, but her prostration was a long one that would make you think, "what is wrong with me! I'm way younger and don't really prostrate this long much!".. As she rose back to her first posture, I couldn't help but wonder, why me? Why would she ask a young stranger to sit next to her! A person like her would pick a wiser looking woman, at least from her background, to sit next to..

I sat there, hearing her whispers of recitation from the thirtieth section of the Qur'an and was impressed! Arabic isn't her first language & her recitation is almost perfect! Moments later, more women started coming and among them were women she knows.. All greeting her "assalamu alaikum Umm Zahra..", and nicely she'd answer back with this peaceful grin of hers.. I showed her that it's okay with me to move back to let them sit next to her, but she held me down! She, again, without saying a word, "told" me that she wants me sitting there! We continued sitting there for almost an hour before the athan went on, without leaning on the wall for once! She knows how to sit with her back straight & The Book in her hands without moving! Just reading God's Words & trying to live them while disconnecting herself from all familiar and unfamiliar faces..

As the sermon started, she sank her face in between her hands and LISTENED! As it was over and Imam Ahmed started supplicating before the prayer, she started weeping and weeping! She was shaking as if it was the Last Day! She tried holding it all in, but her shaking showed it all.. She wouldn't scream "amen" like everyone else did, oh no.. She'd just "amen" on her own.. She'd plead but in her polite way!

As soon as we were done, people ran towards her for a hello and went back.. I prayed the Sunnah prayer (that I not always pray :$) & waited for her to finish hers, but she took quite some time.. As soon as she was done, I kissed her forehead & hugged her so tight without a word! She started praying for me as if she was my own mother!!!!! Her prayers were so sweet I didn't want them to end..

But it had to end,

And I had to go..

But in my heart,

I'll always know..

She's the flower's Mom,

Who's smell will always flow..

I LOVE YOU UMM ZAHRA (f)

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P.S. What's wrong with number 13? Ha? Huh? Huuuuuuuh? Yesterday, Friday the thirteeeeeeeenth was AWESOME! YOU THIRTEEN PEOPLE, PLEASE RECONSIDER THAT THOUGHT! CANADA, please, have 13 floors.. I live in the thirteenth floor and IT'S FINE! GOSH! What's that all about!

P.P.S. Somali people rock! Really! I've always been impressed with the Somali culture! Their ways of living, food, smells, hinna & everything!

P.P.P.S. The little girl at the mosque's door reminded me of a little girl I took pictures off at Native Deen's Concert two years ago :) Here's a picture of her taken while she was looking after her li'l brother until her mom got back.. Isn't she a doll?

P.P.P.P.S. So what if Egypt wins? What happens if Algeria wins? Does it really need this much attention? Dear God!

Take me there......

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To that magic land,

Where clouds are its sand,

And there we won't ever stand,

'Cuz we will fly with our hands......

When you go car-washing.....

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A piece of advice: Please, whenever you go for a car-wash, please please please do remember to NOT let your windows down at least an hour after the washing procedure; for if you do, your windows will get wet again 'cuz of the water remaining in those side gaps and they won't look nice when they dry! I ALWAYS FORGET THAT!

T H E B E A C H :D

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Isn't the beach such a joyful place to be in! Going there always brings in so many happy thoughts.. It's always spacious and unexpectedly a big release.. Nothing can't beat the beach's fresh smell of freshness! It's so REFRESHING :D Just like kite flying; it's always a fun thing to do.. If you've never done it, I think you should try it out :)

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I believe that in order for us to cause comfort to others, we should be comfortable in our own shoes.. So you, I and everyone else should find a focus releasing point in order to live peacefully, don't ya think?

Enjoy your weekend everybody!

Her Daddy's Song :')

*w*i*s*h*e*s*

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Hmmmmmmmmm, before I start, I'd like to buy you all this yummy freezing cold "Only Chilis" drink! You don't find this glass except there, in Chilis (the miracles maker ;) )..

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Wishes: A tag by dear Jasmina :)

I should share three of my life wishes and choose 6 bloggers to tag.. Well, let's start with the wishes first..

In this life, God Has already helped us in even knowing what to wish for - the goals we should set - and they are three:

1. Worshiping Him..

2. Growing this world into a better one..

3. Purifying ourselves..

I've done my research long ago on them three, and with days, they've become my ultimate wishes for this life..

1. I wish I could really truly worship Him in the perfect way I can through every little and big thing I do..

2. I wish I can help with all the seeds I can help with; to be a part of their growth to become stronger & more giving trees..

3. I wish I can cleanse my soul, heart, mind & body with all the cleaning detergents I can get my hands on..

As for the 6 bloggers, I tag:

Dearest Ara <3

Asma :)

GJOEZ :)

Maryoomy :)

Maroo :)

Aroosa ;)

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So how's your drink so far? Still cold? :D

Yeah, so it's been all about wishes for these past two weeks in school.. The kids have been drawing, writing, acting, singing, reading & putting words together aaaaaaaaaaall for wishes.. Remember last year's wishes, here? So this year has seen similiar wishes with some differences :) Goldy wishes to "control the air.."!!!!!!

You know, one of my wishes was to study nursing! I've always admired the "nursing" nurture that always makes others in a li'l bit of comfort.. But I don't think I'd ever make a good nurse.. I'm just too weak for it.. It takes strength.. Anyways, I just remembered how I wanted to be one when I was a kid.. Btw, I've always had different wishes for when I grow up, but they were all the same, all around giving.. I wish I'd be more of a giver than a taker, but it seems I'm doing the opposite most of the time.. Like I looooove teaching, but I've noticed that I take more than I give while doing so.. They always add things to me, love me, teach me, and I'm not sure if I'm doing the same! I hope to God I am!

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So, are you done with your drink? Want another? Or time for some grilled chicken/beef?

One of my dear dear dear sisters, my honey bunny, has been facing some serious problem in her life.. Her mom came home around two weeks ago with this weird look on her face and weird attitude.. She started saying senseless things & wasn't able to eat or drink, 'cuz she didn't remember how to! It turned out to be a brain problem that's causing all this mess.. First, I'd like all of you reading this to pray for her, please.. Secondly, did you ever really really contemplate on how your brain works! Isn't it amazing! It does wonders, without even letting us know!

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I went out with one of my close friends a couple of days ago, and she was needing her mother terribly.. Her mom passed away last year & she was strong all through it.. But all she always tells me, is that she needs her mom.. She never talks about "mising" her, only "needing" her, is this considered selfishness? We went to this restaurant and sat there for long not saying anything, but watching Tom & Jerry & laughing all along.. Laughing to all their moves, that we knew were coming! Oh, how li'l things can ease your pains & lift you higher!

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So, are you bored already? Done with your drinks & food? Wanna leave? Fine, I'll let you go, but before doing so, I'd like to tell you all that everyday passing you by won't ever come back.. You can keep it in your book of memories, but you can't live it again, so try to take hold of your tongue, for it can drag you waaaaaaaay down.. May Allah forgive me, you & us aaaaaaaaaaaall; for our weakness ain't an excuse!

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(: God Bless :)

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P.S. Yesterday (writing day at school), I asked the kids to write about a special person they love.. And for me to assign for them a writing composition, I have to write an example for them on the board for them to get help from, & guess who I picked for me? Diggooooooooooooo (grandpa) :) I talked about how he used to stick his tongue out every now and then to make me laugh :) How he loved all kinds of melon & used to eat it until its drops would roll down his arms & wet his dry elbows :) I talked about his stories, their morals & funny corners :) And then I drew them a watermelon slice with its seeds shaped as a smily face that they all wanted to eat :D

I love you diggo <3

May Allah rest your soul & grant you peace on this blessed Friday <3

P.P.S. I picked a cold drink as a good bye symbol to this long summer & a BIG HELLO to this new winter & its warm drinks :)

"Is this gonna be forever?"

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"Is this gonna be forever?" is a question cute li'l David asked his daddy after having his tooth removed.. You can watch him here :)

It was this "funny" feeling he was feeling that he asked his dad about.. Will it last forever?

And I started thinking, the "forever" & "never" concepts are very hard deals to make.. Don't you think?

~ "What can be a forever thing.."

~ "Never say never.."

Are these possible in today's world?

Who knows..

*sighs*

Anyways..

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Kiddo,

All I can tell you now is that it's never over until your last breath.. It just keeps going, up & down & up & down, it's never a straight line, just like your pulse, it's always up & down....

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David also asked: "Is this real life?" Is it people? 'Cuz I have no clue!

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"I was blown away

What could I say

It all seemed to make sense.

You've taken away everything

And I can't deal with that.

I try to see the good in life.

But good things in life are hard to find.

I'll blow it away, blow it away

Can we make this something good?"

~ It's not over - Chris Daughtry ~

Morning's breeze..

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I love it when:

The white board is wiped & I smell my pen's ink as I write..

The kids wait for me & smile when seeing me..

I wake up with a good thought & live the day with it..

My coffee ain't too hot or cold for me to sip from..

I meet new people & connect with their weirdest sides..

A few words are said from one's heart & make this life worth living..

I don't know what tomorrow has for me..

Amoona sticks to me without wanting a thing..

I hear my songs played in real life in people's faces..

People let others' cars pass before them, when they have the chance not to let them..

Life feels good for no specific reason..

The ocean greets me every morning with its vast beings..

I be me without planning or preparing for it to be..

I know that Wilson found a trustworthy pal who knows how to handle the li'l things before the big ones..

I realize that this place is mine & others find it on their own..

I watch cartoons with amoona..

Everyone plays with Dee out of all other things when they come over..

I wake up every morning & take in its new breeze..

h e a r t l e s s

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"Miss, you won't believe this: A jellyfish doesn't have a heart!"

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You know what sweetheart, I think jellyfish are so lucky!

Yes sweetie, believe me! They ARE lucky!

Having a heart ain't easy!

Nope, it ain't!

His Secret..

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Secrets.... They're always a load, no matter how tiny they might seem.. Some know how to dissolve a secret within themselves.. And others sink with any secret they carry..

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I've always hated secrets; I hate having my OWN secrets! I strive to be as bright as the sun, but it can never be.. Sometimes, one can float really, be lighter than a feather, but OTHER times DO come, whether they're welcomed or not.. They come without knocking & try to pull you down, to the deepest well.. I don't know where floating back again to the surface comes from.. Does it come from faith? love? hope? or what? I don't really know!

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Goldy (a li'l angel I teach), came up to me today with all the seriousness in the world & said: "Miss, I wanna tell you a secret, but don't tell the Arabic teacher.." I said: "Go ahead honey.." He looked around & whispered: "Well miss, I didn't get enough sleep last night.. So today, in the Arabic period, I slept for a few seconds without meaning to, & my turn came to answer a question & I woke up exactly at the right time & answered correctly!! And the teacher didn't notice, how odd is that!".. I gave him this big smile & without thinking, my response was: "You know why Goldy? 'Cuz God Knew how tired you were, & wanted to save you from getting yelled at.." His eyes twinkled with joy & he said: "Thank God Miss!"..

Thank You God.. Thank You Ya Allah.. Thank You for always saving us without us knowing.. Thank You for saving us from our secrets.. Thank You for saving our secrets from being spilled & breaking us.. Thank You! I praise You with all my soul, heart, mind & body..

The Color Of Light..

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This is a story of a jar & a li'l boy.. A true story, not a make-believe.. Just as real as my beating heart & seeing eyes..

There was this jar, a pretty unique one.. It's been in it's place for over two decades.. A beautifully see-through one.. It's been filled with wonders of all colors except for one.. A color it's never had before.. It was always happy knowing how different it is, and knowing of its unique contents.. It never really cared for the missing color as much as it cared for its present ones.. It always had pride in sharing all its colors with others & make all that surrounds it look prettier with its presence..

One day, after all the tick tacks & joys & laughs, a li'l boy came by.. He came close to the jar & with his eyes full of interest, he held the jar tight! He immediately noticed its missing color & screamed: "I have your missing color, dear jar!".. The jar was trembling with fear; it was its first time being held so strongly & suddenly! It was so used to the order of its contents & its familiar colors, and was so scared to add a new one after all those years.. It didn't know whether there is a place for this color, whether this color will match with the rest, whether it's strong enough to contain a new thing after years and years of familiarity....

As a few moments passed by, the jar felt the missing color in the li'l boy's hands.. As the li'l boy was getting ready to add that special missing color, the jar fell on the floor & broke to pieces! The jar & its contents were shattered all over the rough cold floor! Then, the li'l boy, without thinking, started to gather all its pieces together and hid the broken jar somewhere in the dark!

He started wondering, can he reshape it back to its old form, & put its contents in the same order they were in? If not, can he at least make a new different jar out of it & put the contents in a different acceptable order? But the main problem he was facing was the jar itself.. A few seconds ago it was a pretty transparent see-through jar, so after he "fixes" it, will it still be crystal clear as it was? He wondered & wondered.. But he thought for a moment, maybe God Has destined for this jar to break so that a stronger one would come out of it!

And the poor jar, was shattered.. Simply shattered and kept there in the dark, all alone! In his deep thoughts he was drowning.. And while frowning, he thought to himself, maybe tomorrow, when the sun goes shining........

With his cousins: "waiting...."

"Joy Of Learning Through PLAY"

~ s o r e l y ~

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I'm so sore! But the good news is, I can pinpoint the 'why' ;)

Well, I don't let my guards down ever! Always trying to be stronger than I am, but you know what, it ain't always right! I need to be weak if I am so for a while.. It ain't a crime, is it? Be what I am.. Feel what I feel.. I shouldn't be always right.. Perfectly correct.. Nope.. As a teacher, I always tell the kids it's okay to make mistakes, to be wrong sometimes.. I tell them, I make mistakes, and they go like: "No, you're the teacher miss, you can't..".. But I always say: "I can, 'cuz Im human!".. And so can everyone else.. I even sometimes, intentionally mix up things and say "uh oh, oopsy, sorry guys..".. It's always good to say sorry.. It's a blessing actually.. Giving up is what brings us down.. Big difference there between messing up and fixing things & messing up and giving up, right?

What I did in those past few days is let the windows down! I've always had glass around me blocking me from the world.. It's always good to sniff in some fresh air no matter how humid, sticky, hot, cold, or boring it might seem.. I love this 18 degrees celsius temperature I've been soaking myself in, but I gotta let myself out there every now and then.. Hear the different screams, smell those pungent smells, crash into the unknown.. Don't ya think?

Have a new pungent evening everyone ;)

MmmMmmMmmMmm..

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Don't you just love ginger; its smell, taste, color & everything! Ginger can make me happy at any given time!! I love it everywhere, with honey, meat, cookies, simply with anything! It's this addictive spice that spices up my life ;)

Soooooooo.... I read this lovely 'feeling' today, written by Leo Tolstoy, the Russian champion of classics, here goes: "He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began." How fascinating! How can someone be so close to someone else! Is it possible, or only in Mr. Tolstoy's world?

I don't know what is it with me and the continuous thinking, I can't seem to stop! I wish I can just pause my mind for a couple of hours! If only! Anyhow, I was thinking (AGAIN), how can I teach my kids to concentrate more while I don't even know how to! Like for instance, whenever I start with something, I distract myself out of it, even if it was something that I wanted to do in the first place (not forced to do)! I'm a clown in class, but yet it doesn't always work!

And now ladies & gentlemen, time for some nice lyrics of one of the best of Nickelback's :D I've always felt like it's more of a prayer than a song really! For me, it's a cry out to God, The One & Only.. The Most Merciful.. Here:

"Prison gates won't open up for me

On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'

Oh, I reach for you

Well I'm terrified of these four walls

These iron bars can't hold my soul in

All I need is you

Come please I'm callin'

And oh I scream for you

Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me

Say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me

With these broken wings I'm fallin'

And all I see is you

These city walls ain't got no love for me

I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story

And oh I scream for you

Come please I'm callin'

And all I need from you

Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'"

First Friday In October :D

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I'll never forget that night I spent with daddy working on this art project for my arts class: a vase with flowers.. How accurate & talented daddy always is! I wish I can have that from him! The thing is, I can be somehow accurate if I train myself, but never be talented like him.. Or like any one else.. It comes with birth, I believe.. I love the way he does everything, no matter how small it can be.. He always always does his BEST! Bless your heart daddy <3

Yeah, so I don't know about you guys, but for me, everytime I'm in the car alone, going from a place to another, I can't help but think of others, who might be going to the very same place at the very same time, but can't get a ride!!!! I wish there would be something that I can do about that.. Like I can't help but think of the empty seats in my car & the many others who need it! Of course, in this world, people would freak out if I stop to offer them a ride.. Dad used to do that by the way.. But not always did others understand.. I really wish something can be done about that.. I think it'd make our world a btter one, don't you think? And if you do, any suggestions?

One last thought, on gyms.. Yup! I always thought about gyms.. A gym is a very useful place, helping others to feel more comfortable with the body they're in.. But I always had this thought in my mind, and don't know how it can be put into action.. I'll just share it.. For muslim women who do wear the hijab, it'd be a li'l uncomfortable jogging in public, so gyms then would come in handy.. Or even treadmills at home, like for me, or a ladies club, like the one we have here in the U.A.E. (however, it isn't available in all countries), we're lucky to have it here.. But for men, my thought goes.. Well, I always think that instead of men running on a treadmill or lifting up weights in a gym, it'd be better if they do it out there while helping others! Like for instance, help with weights that need to be lifted for someone who can't, in a regular basis.. Or run as well in the service of something that needs to be done.. And so, running or lifting weights will help one's body, while also helping someone else! I know it's a weird thought, but I've had it for so long! Dunno really!

I guess I'm starting to blabber now, so gooooooood night everyone & SMILE, 'cuz it's the World Smile Day, and 'cuz God loves it when you do :)

F L U F F Y <3

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Too many thoughts to share :)

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*Since last Wednesday, this sweet li'l angel, Z, has been on my mind.. She's a li'l girl I teach, with this most charming smile & an extraordinary happy heart.. Her delicacy & transparency are so unique, they'd make your heart dance.. However, in this world we live in, almost no one would see those things enchanting li'l miss Z has.. Why? Well, 'cuz most of us have lost the true meaning of beauty.. We've become so blinded that we don't see anymore.. Sweet li'l Z has a serious eyes problem that caused her to undergo a few surgeries that caused her eyes to change their natural shape & have sever scars around them.. My darling li'l Z suffers from the ugliness in people's hearts from the way they see her.. And at this young age, I wonder, after all the suffer she's gone through, what's awaiting her? Will her special someone come, or no one would see her? See the real her? Will people love her for who she is? I wonder.. On a second note, today, I woke up with my left eye so puffy that it was almost shut! And Z was all I thought about! Bless her heart <3

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*My brave li'l F :D A li'l boy with the best paper plane tricks, made me cute paper planes to fly with ;) Isn't that adorable <3

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*One of my dearest friends, after years and years of walking in the wrong direction, decided to stop, and take a U turn and hold her heart tight & let go of the dark road she was taking.. I truly wish we'd always be able to be as strong as her & learn how to let go of the fake pleasures of the NOW and take hold of our selves' cries for TOMORROW :) Congratulations babygirl <3

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*I've been in an extreme state of longing-ness for the past couple of months, that has been driving me nuts! I'm losing my mind & the problem is that it shows! But there's something useful about this mess, believe it or not! It reminds me constantly of how powerless I am.. You see, I don't see myself as a powerful being or anything of that sort, but sometimes, subconsciencly, I think that i'm LEADING my own life.. I believe that I can always do what I want.. However, that's nothing but a big fat lie.. It's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall, all of it, the whole thing...... The whole thing is in His Hands.. And I need to be in peace with whatever state I am in.. No matter how hard it might seem.. ACCEPTING things, isn't an easy task, but it's a possible one.. So let's try hard, while always keeping that inner peace.. Let's wear the "God Is The Most Merciful" cloak & breathe easy <3

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*And last but not least, I have A WISH.. A special wish for a special someone on this special day: I wish you'd always carry the love of God in your heart today & everyday :) I pray all of the moments you have left on this earth would be truly heartfelt, as always, with new flying skills everyday, that would make you the best flying knight that you can be :) And may your horse's wings always grow stronger & stronger & stronger :) I pray you'd always add light to all that you touch & make this world a brighter one :) May your life be as fluffy as a bird's feather & your heart always smile like a kid's laughter :)

Here's a special song dedicated to you, oh special knight :) You can watch it here :)

When you feel all alone in this world

And there's nobody to count your tears

Just remember, no matter where you are

Allah knows Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load

And you wonder how far you can go

With every step on that road that you take

Allah knows Allah knows

No matter what, inside or out

There's one thing of which there's no doubt

Allah knows Allah knows

And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth

Every star in this whole universe

Allah knows Allah knows

When you find that special someone <3

Feel your whole life has barely begun <3

You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone <3

Allah knows Allah knows <3

When you gaze with love in your eyes

Catch a glimpse of paradise

And you see your child take the first breath of life

Allah knows Allah knows

When you lose someone close to your heart

See your whole world fall apart

And you try to go on but it seems so hard

Allah knows Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose

Through the valleys and hills we go

With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown

Allah knows Allah knows

Every grain of sand, In every desert land, He knows

Every shade of palm, Every closed hand, He knows

Every sparkling tear, On every eyelash, He knows

Every thought I have, And every word I share, He knows

Allah knows

~ By Zain Bhikha & Dawud Wharnsby ~